Just be aware that for many, or perhaps most students, the awesome fit you find in 9th grade will be of little interest by 12th.
@Blossom I was actually looking for more of a process of applying roadmap. I should have stated that more clearly. We know how to chose fit from the BS experience. My kid also knows how to chose direction (eventually will lead to major and career). I recognize that many parents and kids don’t do this and later have issues. I think the BS do a great job of getting kids to think about many of these issues.
Have found a couple of roadmaps online which say start early and use Summers wisely. The idea of taking many types of classes and learning what types of work interests you is also mentioned. Funny nearly all the roadmaps I found suggest taking the PSATs early to give time in case a student needs to fill in holes. They also suggest writing essays in the Summer before Senior year. And keeping a list of scholarships the student might be interested in.
I’m interested in what parents have done that helped take work off the table in later years. For example visiting schools on vacation.
This was helpful for us: after doing diagnostic SATs and ACTs at school in the spring of sophomore year and getting a very clear indication that DS will do better on the ACTs, he took the real ACT in June following sophomore year, mainly to know whether he could replicate his score from the diagnostic. Then he did a lot of tutoring over the summer, took the ACT this October and presumably will do so again in February and possibly April. Hopefully by then he can be done with at least the ACT well before senior year.
Also, I think it’s standard to write essays the spring of Junior year and following summer. I know at DS’s school they work with the kids in the spring and summer with the goal being to just be putting finishing touches on essays in the fall (at least for Common App essays).
If you can get your kid to write essays during the summer you are a super parent and don’t need help from us mere mortals!
Seriously- HS goes so quickly, and for most kids, is filled with a lot of pressure and anxiety. I cannot imagine that taking tests earlier than your kids school has them scheduled is going to help- and it’s likely to push up the anxiety meter just by getting a head start on “how do I shape up” and “OMG, why are my scores so low”.
You can feed the beast when you have a kid who likes to plan and be prepared- and fuel the anxiety- or you can be the reassuring voice of reason- “enjoy the ride and we will make sure that you are ready when the time comes”.
Visiting schools while on vacation is great IF you happen to be taking a vacation with an appropriate college nearby while school is in session. But it’s less great if you are touring a campus in late July so the only humans you see are other HS kids and can’t get a fix on the “vibe”, or even get lunch in the dining hall. Your kid will miss the bustle which makes the college special when in session.
My kids came away from one early visit with a very negative impression of a college which I thought (and still think) would have been a great fit for at least one of them. We were there in July; that’s when colleges do infrastructure work which can’t be done when students are on campus. The main path across the green was being dug up and repaired; the A/C was off in the buildings we toured because it was annual maintenance day. To this day my kids say “hot and humid” when that college gets mentioned (and it’s not- it’s in a pretty temperate city).
A HUGE help timing wise is for the parents to do a deep dive on their finances. Know where every dollar is going to come from before you decide “Oh sure, we can afford that”. If there’s belt-tightening, make sure both parents are on board. I know many families where belt-tightening means “no more ski trips” to one parent, and “let’s cut cable, sell the second car, give up music lessons for our 8th grader, and stop contributing to our 401K’s”.
That results in the panicky and angry posts on CC come April- “my parents told me we could afford Duke but now I’ve been accepted and they’re telling me we can’t afford it. Help?”
It takes time to get a handle on your finances and spending. Making sure THAT’s in place before the visits start is a huge advantage!
Thanks Blossom. Actually not all planners have anxiety. Ours doesn’t at all. And this kid gets 99% scores on standardized tests so just might want to mentally check the box that it’s done. Guess if a kid did have anxiety one would have to navigate that differently. Not all parents have to push kids to consider college. The kids at kiddos school ( Sophomores) are already talking about it, believe it or not 
I actually find it strange that so many feel like prep is “feeding” the beast. Have to know your own kids I guess. In sports, kids practice so they can get better. By the time Senior year rolls around they know where they stand and all the time spent is building confidence that they can do big things. It’s the same for test prep or any other thing, IMO. You start something see where you are and go from there. Telling kids to wait and throwing hours of work at them Senior year seems insane to me. Having a long term plan and getting things out of the way is another approach. That’s what we are seeking. Plus kids are really busy during the school year.
We’ll likely do some visits in the Spring, vacation days, Summer. Really whenever it makes sense. Kid is asking to go and see. Again, really wants to get ideas. The planner kid #1. I’m just the driver but will take kid #2 as well. I might even take some of friends and make it fun for all of them. There’s many schools we can knock off right away but I think seeing various types as someone suggested is a good idea.
Part of the reason we have done things early (on various fronts) is to lessen the anxiety and burden when crunch time hits, and in each instance DS has acknowledged that it was the right decision. While he’s not the planner that it sounds like your child is, @Happytimes2001, he’s busy, and it’s helpful FOR US to spread things out. While DS wasn’t crazy about it, we were looking at secondary schools and going to open houses in 7th grade so that he wouldn’t have to miss every Saturday soccer game in 8th grade to do so. He tells me that ALL his friends were having fun over fall break while we visited a couple of colleges, and he said that was productive as well. He needed to do ACT tutoring over the summer; they offered a course at school in the fall but only on Sundays, when he has practices, and it would have been hard to fit in on-line sessions amidst his school and sports schedule. I certainly wasn’t pushing him to think seriously about college in 9th or really 10th grade, but you can look at your schedule (as you are doing) and get some of the tasks out of the way. A Mom of one of DS’s senior buddies was just telling me over parents’ weekend how important it was for her son to do a thorough job on his essays over the summer to not be scrambling in the fall when ED applications were due. DS knows this is coming this summer!
@CTMom21 That sounds great. Funny thing is, I am NOT a planner but I married one and the kids got the planning DNA. Big time. It’s hardwired. I am outnumbered.
Totally agree with all of this so much. My older one was a different story but with the younger one, especially because sports is an issue, we need to be starting this process now. It may not be the CC way but it is definitely right for our family. We won’t have time spring of junior year for example because we will be at tournaments. Fall of senior year is also a school sport plus club sport commitment so again, he will be writing essays over the summer.
It has to work for you and sometimes an early timeline can make things much less stressful down the line. My kids both know they are going to college and we have some idea what kind of colleges they are going to so just “talking about college” isn’t a stressful conversation.
Our BS does NOT encourage thinking about college during freshman and sophomore years.
Those two years are about exploration, pursuing interests, mastering academics, getting to know oneself.
During sophomore year, it is okay to unofficially check out 2-3 colleges near home or near where one might be traveling anyway to get a sense of preference (urban/rural/suburban, small LAC/large state univ). Spring of that year is a good time to take practice ACT and SAT or PSAT to get a sense of which test is worth focusing on. Some kids will take SAT subject tests if they recently completed relevant coursework.
That’s all that is required the first two years.
You want your kid to explore and pursue what they are generally interested in, not what will look best on college apps. Authentic applicants do better in the long run. The last thing you want is a kid who is unsure of what they really want or like because their decisions have all been based on what college admissions officers might be most impressed with.
BTW: One of my sanest friends took her very competitive, perfectionist child to visit 2-3 colleges with acceptance rates of around 50% freshman year just so they’d realize there are some great colleges out there that aren’t on everyone’s radar. It greatly reduced the stress and anxiety during high school to realize there are great alternatives available for those who aren’t obsessed with the same 10 schools, whether they are academic late bloomers or simply want to get more out of HS than the credentials needed for an Ivy diploma. The “worst case scenario” looked pretty great!
Many families are obsessed with top ranked schools simply because they’ve never heard of, visited, or researched alternatives until late in the process.
Does anyone have a Magic 8 Ball I can borrow, I seemed to have lost mine somewhere on the road to boarding school!
I think this is true for many kids. For kids for whom sports will factor in I think there’s more to it and prepping earlier is going to be a must. If you have a kid who’s a top D1 prospect maybe not so much, but there are a lot of kids who have a unique combo of athletic and academic traits that really narrow the band of colleges.
@Happytimes2001 Your preparation for the four years with your ‘planning’ kid sounds like it will work great.
Here is a list of the colleges I visited over the years, though I am certain I forgot a few. It includes apples, oranges and bananas, because I have 3 very different kids. Some of these were a one-off for an invited basketball camp and others were part of a multi-day tour, but if you are going to an area and aren’t sure of one, just ask.
College visits list (approximately 50 in alphabetical order):
Arizona
Bowdoin
Brown
U. Chicago
Claremont McKenna
College of Charleston
Colorado
Colorado State
Columbia
Cornell
Dartmouth
Denver
Duke
Durham (England)
Harvey Mudd
Indiana
Georgetown
Georgia
Harvard
Michigan
Michigan State
North Carolina
Northwestern
Notre Dame
NYU
Oregon
Oxford (England)
U Penn
Pepperdine
Pitzer
Pomona
Richmond
Santa Clara
SCAD
Scripps
Stanford
Texas
UCLA
UC San Diego
USC
Vanderbilt
Virginia
Virginia Tech
Wake Forest
Wash U St Louis
U Washington
William & Mary
Wyoming
Yale
All I can say is wow!
I echo those who say it is best to take a slow boil approach.
Freshman year - nothing
Sophomore year - PSAT, subject tests if applicable to your student’s courseload, perhaps visit a few colleges in Spring/Summer if convenient in your area or if you’ll be on vacation somewhere where interesting colleges are close by - big/medium/small, urban/suburban/rural, your state flagship.
Other than a visit to get a general idea of what type of college is appealing, we found summer visits useless and stopped those after about 2. The people you see on campus will be quite different in scope than the academic year (often high school students in the summer) so really all you are looking at is brick and mortar in the summer. So, when can you cram all those visits in when colleges are in session? We found the long March break during Junior year the best. We crammed a ton in then (student should take notes/record their thoughts right after each visit so they don’t blur together). We also found the weeks leading up to the start of the boarding school year to be a good time - many colleges are back in session way before BS starts up. We also did a few around long weekends and even a visit or two on Thanksgiving break that a child wanted to visit or revisit to make sure it was a good fit before adding to the finalized list. Yes, do visit any school in which an ED application is being submitted. I do think it is helpful to visit colleges before applying for fit and because it is impossible to fit more than a few revisits in between acceptances and the May 1 commitment deadline. But, you don’t need to visit them all. Once of my kids attended a college that wasn’t visited until after the acceptance was received. Nice perk was they flew all of out for free.
My kids and their interests changed tons between 9th and 12th grade, even between 11th and 12th.
@one1ofeach Agreed. If you have kids who are going to be pursuing something in college for example sports ( but I can think of a few others pursuits as well), then your choices are going to be narrowed already. For example a kid who want to pursue STEM engineering and wants to play water polo. LOL. The means you might not have a list of thousands but only several dozen to look at. And you might have a different timeframe. Kids who do lots of things have to plan well in advance. I know this isn’t that unusual as a Mom I was speaking to at kid’s boarding school was already far down the road of choosing. Her kid is a Sophomore and being recruited for two sports. That might be a NE thing vs. a CA thing.
Same for us re: speaking about college. They know they are going. So why would they be stressed? They are more curious. They would like lots of schools on Bloomfields list for various reasons. Don’t think they’ll get caught up in the name game but who knows.
@bloomfield88 Wow, you could write a book!!
@calimex That type of thinking would never work in our family. They like big picture, project planning and all the rest. And they discuss things ad infinitum. So jumping in Junior year would result in big stress. I guess that’s more part of the Thatcher culture and is going to be part of the reason people decide to go there in the first place. The laid back vibe would definitely suit some of the families we know–it just wouldn’t be something we’d buy into.
It is NOT about being laid back.
It is about making the very most of high school itself, discovering what you like and who you want to be, without having it all be distorted by being overly preoccupied with college admissions. Pushing yourself intellectually in the right classes while mastering time management and study skills. Taking risks and trying new sports and activities.
I don’t think our culture’s general obsession with college admissions, which is starting at earlier and earlier ages among those of higher means, is helping our kids’ mental health – or some parents’ integrity and ability to stay out of jail, right?
College isn’t a finish line. It is a starting point or launching pad. Too many kids arrive already burnt out or unsure whether the “passions” they pursued were truly their passions or just what they thought admissions officers might respond to…
What’s wrong with encouraging intense self exploration (and exploration of interests) before introducing concerns about college admissions?
Oh, look!
Just did a quick search online and discovered that “laid back” Exeter also recommends that kids not be overly focused on the college search during 9th and 10th grades! And so does “laid back” Groton!
Turns out most boarding school websites have four-year roadmaps for college admissions and most have very minimal suggestions for 9th and 10th grades other than taking challenging classes, exploring interests/activities, and taking practice tests in 10th grade.
Maybe your planner can use their expert planning skills to do something extraordinary during their first two years in high school instead of pushing to get a headstart on college admissions?
https://www.exeter.edu/academics/college-counseling/9th-and-10th-grades
It’s definitely not a “laid back” Thacher thing. When my kids went to SPS they recommended the same timetable. As @CaliMex points out, many schools do. It’s about enjoying and focusing on the here and now (BS) and because, absent some athletes and mainly D1, there really isn’t a need to make it a 4 year process to undertake a thorough and successful college search process.
I’m 100% with CaliMex on this one.
@Calimex Wow, you sound not laid back. At all. I think you might be taking things a bit out of context.
Kids who plan are not filled with angst about college. Nor are they preoccupied with gaining a place at the colleges you abhor ( namely those with famous names). People are different, kids are different. Parents are different.
Actually, my kids is currently doing three very cool things in school. Not related at all to college admissions. And two of my kids big things, my kid has been doing since 4th grade. Yep 4th grade. So I kind of doubt that kiddo was thinking hey let me do this thing for 10 years so I can get into Harvard. Nope. And actually BTW, kid doesn’t want to go to Harvard.
I actually find many on CC to subscribe to a fixed opinion about many things. That’s fine. But we need to realize that what you do in your family and what we do in ours may not be similar and that’s ok. Really it is.
IMHO, you can absolutely do both. You can consider college and take baby steps along the way in high school and still explore your passions and get where your going/change direction and even find something you never knew about. 1OneofEach seems to be doing this too.
My kid also tried a new sport last year. And loves doing it now. So I think before you go rogue. you might want to consider that there are many paths and people do things differently. I’m sure Exeter and Thatcher are both great schools just different. I’m sure the parent who send their kids to each both think they made good choices.
My kid is already doing the fun stuff and wants to plan the big stuff. I’m sorry if that tweaks people who mandate that nothing be done until Junior year because Thacher says so. Hmm.