@SculptorDad Thanks so much for the detailed response. It is great to see that she explored her options and did what she wanted during the Summer. I agree that some kids need time to reflect and just hang out and recharge. BS is busy and they need to change gears in the Summer.
While there are tons of Summer programs nearly all are pricey. I feel like there is so little time during the school year for kids to just do nothing except read a book and see friends.
BTW, have you read the book “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking?” It’s a great read for all, especially extroverts to understand the value of another perspective.
Congrats to her ED at Harvey Mudd. I’m sure she is going to love it.
@Happytimes2001 - happy dilemma for us and a warning that we are getting swept up in college planning mode. Kiddo was offered a job (that required heavy duty application) as a counselor-in-training at the 4-week wilderness camp up in the Canadian woods (one attended many years as a camper). This is a kid who has done Outward Bound type courses. Kiddo will be given the responsibility of teaching one of the skill courses each day to several groups. We wanted kiddo to attend a college intensive course at the “dream school” - very competitive program to be accepted into. However, Kiddo wants to work in the woods.
I’m so behind on this…
I have one quick comment on summer programs, in line with #80 by @gardenstategal.When dd was in high school, she considered majoring in dance and maybe business to eventually teach or open a studio or something along those lines. She enrolled in a 2 week pre-college program for dance at a college. When she realized she wanted to keep dance as a hobby and not a major/career, we realized that could have been the best money we had ever spent! It totally changed the college selection process!
So, I have no idea if these programs are useful for admissions but it was certainly useful to her in defining direction!
(She worked at a day camp the other high school summers and the other portion of that particular summer.)
And that’s the thing with a 4 year roadmap…its hard to have a map when the exact destination is unknown or subject to change.
I found out that school counselors did an awesome job for my kid. My son’s school counselor recommended a very good college that we did not even consider because it was a reach school. The counselor worked with my son during the application process. My son visited the college twice before submitting an ED application. When the results came out my son was very surprised that he was admitted. He is very happy to be going to this college in the fall of 2020. Without his counselor, this would not have been possible. As a family, we only started thinking about College when he became a Junior.
We recently watched this documentary. It was rather depressing. I couldn’t help but tune into and be sensitive to the resentment that some of the “readers” and AO’s send out on film. It seems that some of the AO’s are looking for things that are different from what our children are working for in school. Here is a clip below.
The expectations of AO’s on what a 17 - 18 year old can accomplish along with extremely high test scores and GPA is unrealistic and fueling the stress our kids feel.
It goes into prep school, athletes, diversity, and all aspects of the game. I read it with fascination. The system is truly bizarre from the mile high view. It isn’t random, and it isn’t fair. Depending upon where you sit, though, how exactly it is unfair changes.
There’s usually at least one such thread at any given time on the big board. They usually end up getting locked, due to the high spirited debate.
@Golfgr8
Is there a longer documentary? I couldn’t find it. Can you point me in the right direction?
That clip just reaffirmed my impression that luck plays into this so much. Like if you’re a woman and you happen to get the interviewer who likes feminists and you happen to mention this one time you supported a protest with your black friend about the report on differing punishment at your school…but what if you don’t mention that and instead talk about your love of soccer and she’s all “yawn…pass.” Except both of those things are part of you, you just weren’t lucky enough to pick the right one to talk about.
Total luck. Good grief. Can I just homeschool college. I’m exhausted already.
The mention that 7-figure and 8-figure donations make a difference. (and my favorite: “even 6-figure” donations “can” make a difference.)
Alrighty then.
Wow.
One of the things I am worried about (add to the list of 999,000 items) after watching this video is that college AO’s will look at kiddo’s school and think “Oh, another BS kid…toss in the trash this elitist little jerk”. No review of grades, sports, achievement, community service, etc.
At the very least, I did enjoy viewing the honesty that some of the AO’s shared in the film. My DH went through some of this when he was on the admissions committee for a medical school. There were AO’s who wanted to select applicants based on “she is that girl who worked on XX’s campaign” or “ He is from XY planet” more than their MCAT scores, GPA, research, and evidence they could succeed in this rigorous field. My DH would have to remind other AO’s that this is for medical school, not undergraduate admissions.
@Calliemomofgirls , the female AO (former UofP) in that video said that the six-figure donation can help IF you also have a member of the Board of Trustees give them “the nod”. Need a lot more “moolah” if you don’t have a big kahoona.
No surprises in that video, IMO. Everyone brings biases to the table - boarding school admissions, college admissions, job interviews, choosing a partner, selecting a team captain or class president… such is life. However, BS grads still place well. Have a balanced and well thought out college list and your kids will be fine.
@Golfgr8 Yep. Hence the “it can” help (if xyz).
That said on the flip side — I take comfort in knowing that it takes millions to be a truly big sway. And tbh — if there weren’t those donating millions, my regular old kid wouldn’t have access to amazing science buildings. So I’m not super ruffled by this component of the admissions process. (It was more in the category of: “gosh I am in the wrong business given I’m stressing out over 60k a year for BS.”)
The real takeaway was the role of biases, which we all probably knew innately but it was spelled out so clearly.
And I feel like sports only make it worse cause sports just show how uber privileged our kids are that mommy and daddy bought them private coaches/camps/whatever.
Nothing known about the fact that my kid worked his butt off every day of Christmas break, by his choice, to get better.
@Golfgr8@one1ofeach The good news is that this has always been the case, even if we didn’t know it. And athletes and prep school kids have had a great track record of college admissions, despite the potential “privileged kid” biases.
Dream schools are just a nightmare. I think the woods is just fantastic!
The most important thing to do in boarding school is to study hard, don’t think about college in the first years, do what you love and enjoy high school. Second most important thing to do once the process starts is to find a match or safetly school your child loves. The process is brutal and most kids that we know that had their hearts set on a reach were broken hearted. Even with ED and full pay. Find a great match and hype it up!
@suzyQ7 - thanks for the link to that video. I had seen it a few years ago. I think it’s sad for that girl who applied and wrote that essay - bad “tag line”, but maybe she had a very creative and meaningful essay.