<p>Back in the day, we were “legal” at 19 (18 in Wisconsin.) I have a hard time thinking it’s immoral for 19 and 20 year olds to drink alcohol, but I am quite concerned about safety (and not getting arrested, of course).</p>
<p>Son is very ADD and takes a high dose of Concerta. I have no idea of what effect alcohol would have on him while on Concerta. But I do suspect that at some point during college, he will find out. Unless we find out that it is potentially fatal, it seems like his first drinks should be at home next summer, rather than a few weeks later in the dorm.</p>
<p>You have absolutely not lost your mind. My D2 has celiac disease; any gluten-based products make her extremely sick…we will be doing alcohol training around here before she leaves for school down the road…</p>
<p>Thanks. I’ve read a bit online and on message boards…Concerta seems to amplify the effects of alcohol and some folks have said the combination just makes them feel really bad…not drunk but bad. That would actually be a terrific outcome for a mom to hope for!</p>
<p>I was thinking much the same thing - not in the sense of alcohol per se because my D will steadfastly refuse to drink, but educating her what to do if she starts feeling “funny” - I read too many stories of things being slipped into drinks at parties, and drinks that are supposed to be non-alcoholic that end up being anything but…she will probably just have the water bottle, but sometimes I wish I could have her drink a half glass of wine at a meal or something controlled so she could experience a little bit of a “buzz”…I am losing my mind as much as you missypie!</p>
<p>Before they both turned 21 and were in college, we allowed them to have a drink when we were around i.e. wine with dinner or a beer or margarita if we were dining at a Mexican restaurant but only if we were present and they were not driving.</p>
<p>This may have been perceived as being naive knowing that they certainly were drinking whatever and whenever when they were away at school but at the same time it would be somewhat out of touch with reality to still treat them like we did when they were in high school since they live the way the choose to once away at school. I remember what it was like when I came home from school on breaks and decided that it made far more sense to pick my battles carefully.</p>
<p>The way I saw it was that as long as I was/am paying the tuition and they were still technically “under my roof” then my rules applied and to be honest it was never an issue or ever abused</p>
<p>They are both over 21 now (thankfully) so it’s a moot point.</p>
<p>You might have him talk with his prescribing doctor about this – he will take it much more seriously than from his worrying mom. Of course, you should continue having a conversation about drinking.
“we will be doing alcohol training around here before she leaves for school down the road…” Do you mean training her to drink? Which is sort of what you’re suggesting, missypie. What if he’s not all that interested in drinking? (these kids do exist.) It seems well intended but a little misguided. I would think it depends on your family’s drinking habits. If you have a beer or glass of wine with dinner every night, it might seem natural to offer him a glass. But if you never drink, it could be a little weird for your son. (Can’t you hear him the next day with his friends? “My mom tried to get me drunk last night.”)</p>
<p>We started offering an occasional glass to our kids at around this age, especially on special occasions, but more often than not, they declined. It wasn’t because they (our son in particular) wasn’t “partying”, but that they didn’t want to drink with us!</p>
<p>Mine has sipped off our glass but not really drinking the whole glass. She does the same in college, takes a few sips of her friend’s glass. She has reported rum tastes horrible. I think the Gordon video that I sent her to watch before going off to college has made her a little bit guarded. But I’ll find out more when she comes back for Thanksgiving.</p>
<p>Have offered wine to girls at Holidays. Both have sipped and then rapidly spit out. Too “gross” for them. D1 will be 21 in February. She has tried various alcoholic beverages but hasn’t hit on one that’s a keeper! Tried a Bailey’s on the rocks with us in Mexico and thought it was too strong. I don’t think she’s had much training while she’s been at school. ;)</p>
<p>She’s bringing home the boyfriend du jour for Thanksgving and he just turned 21. Should be interesting to see if he wants wine with dinner or Prosecco with appetizers and if she will ask if she can have some!!!</p>
<p>My family’s Sicilian so I’ve been offered wine with dinner on holidays/special occasions since I was 12 or 13. I declined until I was about 16 and even now I’ll only drink a half a glass or so. Wine gives me headaches.</p>
<p>And I remember being about 13 and asking for a sip of beer. I haven’t touched the stuff since. Haha.</p>
<p>Many of my friends and mothers of kids I know let their underaged kids drink at home. I don’t agree with the reasoning. I did not, do not, and will not let mine drink until they are of legal age. That they may go off and drink out of my sight is not something I can control, but I can make my stance clear on the matter. I don’t agree with the age 21 legal drinking age, but as a parent, I feel it is important to uphold the law. </p>
<p>I’ve known a number of kids whose parents were supposedly teaching their kids to drink responsibly have severe drinking and substance abuse problems. It does not seem to be a deterrent at all. There is a whole different mechanism behind binge drinking, drinking with friends, drinking to get drunk that is not related at all to responsibly having wine with food or for a toast. </p>
<p>I think many kids as they enter the realm of adulthood have a very difficult time. They are rebellious, unsure, want to be cool and adult, may have mood disorders, emotions out of synch. To make it easier and more familiar to drink is not something I want to do.</p>
<p>I did. My kids could have a glass of wine at dinner or a beer watching football when they were college age. Drinking alcohol in the presence of parents is not illegal in New Jersey.</p>
<p>Drinking at home with parent is allowed in parts around here so having a glass of wine with dinner is not llegal. Even drinking out with parents is legal in some states. I was surprised to learn that kids can drink in a bar in Wisconsin with their parents. We have a cabin/home in Wisconsin and just found this out!</p>
<p>We allowed our Ds to have a glass of wine with us at dinner from their mid-teens. It’s not a matter of “supposedly teaching” them to drink responsibly, it IS a part of teaching them to drink responsibly. Alcohol was not the attraction to them as they got older and went away to school, that it is for many kids. The legal drinking age here is 19, and all of them are now legal. They all drink occasionally, and none has a problem with alcohol or other substances. It may not work for some kids, but it worked for ours.</p>
<p>The important thing to teach them is not to take drinks from people or share drinks (good way to catch disease), and have drinks with them at all time. When they go out they should always have people to look after them. Last year, as a freshman, my daughter and her friends had a pack to always get everyone home. This year at a sorority they have “sober sisters” to make sure no one made fools of themselves whenever they went to official mixers. I tell my kids “two large glasses of water and some bread whenever they felt dizzy.”</p>
<p>It has been discussed on this board many times about whether to allow underage to drink at home, so I won’t add any more to that. My concern is really my daughter’s safety, not what the law will allow.</p>
<p>College age students drinking at home is one topic. College age students on a high dose of methylphenidates drinking alcohol, at home or at school, is another. Let’s not confuse the two.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Then call the doctor or pharmacist and ask. Be specific with doses of the med and amounts of alcohol. Better yet, schedule a meeting and take your son with you.</p>
I have Celiac disease too. There are a few gluten free beers out there, and they taste pretty good (particularly when it’s the only beer you can drink), but they’re not easy to find. Which is a GOOD thing for an underage college-age student! ;)</p>
<p>It’s illegal here, so no.
I wish it were legal to serve to one’s own children in one’s own home. I know it seems hypocritical, since I’m PRETTY darned sure (ok, 100% sure) that there is drinking at college.
But it’s not a great example (we pick the rules on substances we’ll obey and not obey) for youngest son. We waited until oldest son was 21 before he could drink at home. Sons #2 and 3 will survive.</p>
<p>PS - I don’t have daughters, but I STRONGLY suggest that kids be told, explicitly, to only go out with friends that they trust to look out for them. My boys have been told explicitly that it is their responsibility as young men to look out for the safety of the young ladies they are with. Sexist, maybe. But it’s the way I wanted them raised. They are also supposed to look out for their male companions, but I really think the potential Natalie Hollaway (sp) scenarios are more common with young women than young men. So if your daughter feels woozy or funny after drinking something, she should immediately let one of her trusted friends know that something’s up.</p>
<p>My daughter is a Type 1 (insulin dependent) Diabetic. College can be a dangerous time for a young diabetic b/c drinking is scary territory for someone on insulin. There is a term know as “dead in bed.” Any parent of a high school/college aged diabetic knows the terror this term provokes. Let’s say a person is drinking margaritas. The mixer itself is loaded with sugar and therefore has tons of carbs, the tequilla itself has zero carbs and theoretically should have no effect on the blood sugar. This is where it gets very tricky. Initially, the mixer will immediately raise the blood sugar to a very high level. Lets say this person drinks four margaritas, enough to give them a very good buzz. Then they head back to the dorm room and pass out. The glucose from the mixer works it’s way through the blood stream and combined with the effects of insulin, the blood sugar level will return to normal levels. Enter the tequila. Alcohol has the effect of dangerously lowering the blood sugar (something to do with a substance released in the liver). This spells disaster, possibly death, for the diabetic. If one is intoxicated, it would be very easy to sleep through such a low blood sugar. Thus, the horrible term “dead in bed.” It has happened more often than people know. Sorry for the long explanation but I wanted to educate your kids who may very well become a drinking buddy with a diabetic in college. Do I expect that my daughter won’t ever pick up a beer or a drink? That would make me a very naive parent. I have spoken to her repeatedly about drinking and diabetes. The most important thing is that if she is going to drink it must be in moderation so that she is never so drunk she passes out, and she absolutely must eat with the drinking. Not only that but she must eat before she goes to bed. My point is this. Those of you with kids heading off to college that are on any type of medication or have any kind of medical condition should make sure that you educate yourself & your child. No kid should get so drunk that they are no longer in control of themself or their safety. If you feel that offering your child alcohol in the privacy of your home is the right thing to do, then it is the right thing to do. But let’s make sure that we educate kids that alcohol is a drug. People under the influence of alcohol can do very foolish and dangerous things. Believe me, I like to drink myself & I am no prude. When I look back to my own college days, I’m amazed I came throug in one piece. Education is the name of the game!</p>