Does D accept this offer of Letter Recommendation?

<p>Hi Everyone. As a bit of back story to understand where I am coming from, my D from all outside appearances is a very well liked and respected person at her school. She is fairly popular (relative I know, but it is strickly and observation) and holds a few leadership positions. What I love about her is she is all about doing the right thing and does not care what people think if she feels someone is being wronged, etc. There is young man in the band who is autistic. He is a great musican, but socially awkward. Because of this, some of the other students will not outwardly tease him, but will certainly shut down a conversation if he approaches and/or just try to avoid him all together. Ever since the 6th grade, D, has taken him under his wing per se. Last year he was being out right teased at a band event by another school's students and she stepped between them and made sure they and he knew that it was not going to happen under her watch. She also goes out of her way to include him when she see that he is being excluded and makes sure he understands what is going on when the band travels. Now this boy's mother is a well respected Engish teacher at another school in our district. She loves my daughter and thinks that she hung the moon (that is because she does not have to clean up after and has offered to write her a letter of recommendation for her applications. Does a letter that would be more of a character based reference have a place in her application? And do colleges even care about that?</p>

<p>I just rememer hearing a on a tour a admissions person say if we ask for two recommendations, send two. Not one, not three. So if she only gets one or two is it better to be strickly an academic teacher who writes it?</p>

<p>The person you describe would probably be a perfect reference for scholarship applications.</p>

<p>When my D applied to colleges, her application references had to be teachers in different areas - she picked an English teacher and a Science teacher and her school counselor. But when she applied for scholarships, she used other references - her ballet teacher, her youth group advisor, an elder in our church, her city orchestra conductor, etc.</p>

<p>Another idea - I just remember her science teacher, in addition to the common app reference, wrote a generic reference letter for D and told her to make as many copies as she needed for as many applications as she needed. It was very helpful to have that one ready to go for various applications, especially since it seemed like she was always applying for something.</p>

<p>collegeshopping…you can’t substitute that kind of letter of recommendation for the required academic reference letters that most college have. For the academic letters, you have to get recs from academic core teachers. However, my own children, as well as all students whom I advise, generally send two supplemental recommendations from those OUTSIDE of academics, in addition to the required academic recs. These may be from someone who supervised them in an extracurricular endeavor (such as band director, community service supervisor, theater director, dance teacher, athletic coach, club supervisor, voice teacher, summer program staff, supervisor on a job, etc.) The rec you speak about fits under “supplemental recs” and not under the required academic recs. It should be “in addition to” and not “instead of.”</p>

<p>Accept the reference. That’s exactly the kind of reference that could make a difference in scholarship and admissions chances. It will be a lovely reflection of your daughter’s character. Congratulations on raising such a compassionate daughter. Your D can submit is as an additional reference for colleges and scholarship programs.</p>

<p>collegeshopping - That’s wonderful. I can’t think of a better recommendation for your D.
You should be very proud of her, she sounds like a terrific young lady.</p>

<p>Most definitely. Most colleges have a place on the application where they ask for any additional information that will help reveal to the AdComm the true sense of who the applicant is. I would encourage you to send a copy of that reference to every school to which she applies. It will not serve as a required academic letter of reference, but as an additional reference. Bully for her!</p>

<p>Many schools (even those that say do not send additional recs) will allow and consider an additional recommendation as long as it shows the person in a different light, i.e. something that the normal rec writers would not know about the candidate. This sounds like it would fit perfectly into that category.</p>

<p>You must be very proud of her…good luck in the process!</p>



<p>One-hundred-thousand-percent correct.</p>

<p>This is the kind of recommendation that speaks about her character. Not all colleges want to read that kind of recommendation, for college admissions. However, some colleges specially ask for that type of rec, especially for scholarships or for certain awards. For example, I know our HS’s National Honor Society always asks for a rec about character. That’s what this recommendation addresses.</p>

<p>It doesn’t matter if the college asks for this kind of rec. A supplemental rec is in addition to the required recs. The required recs are typically academic recs. I recommend everyone send supplemental recs from those who know the candidate in a capacity outside the classroom that differs in perspective from an academic teacher rec.</p>

<p>Yes, you want this letter. As noted, it does not substitute for an academic recommendation but it is the kind of letter that could tip the scales anywhere.</p>

<p>And congrats on raising such a daughter!</p>



<p>I strongly disagree. There is nothing more valued than high character (assuming the grades and test scores and recs are strong). Just my $0.02.</p>

<p>"There is nothing more valued than high character (assuming the grades and test scores and recs are strong). "</p>

<p>I agree, too.</p>

<p>Regardless of what you decide on the letter, it’s so great that you daughter was willing to show such kindness to her classmate. It will be a happy memory for you and her and especially the other musician. </p>

<p>My happy memory is of daughter and her friend helping an unpopular (and I think learning disabled) boy do the 1 mile run in middle school PE class. They ran slowly alongside him, cheering him along to the finish. But I don’t recall hearing any such stories about high school students - that is admirable.</p>

<p>Thank you everyone for your kind words and your valuable advise. It sure was easier with the boys and their desire to just apply to the their auto-admit schools. This is just all so complicated. :o)</p>

<p>collegeshopping -</p>

<p>If your daughter has the energy to do so, she might consider founding a chapter of Best Buddies at her school [Best</a> Buddies](<a href=“]Best”> This organization helps young people without disabilities learn to socialize better with young people with disabilities. The formal intent is to help the less-abled develop age-normal social skills, but just as often, the more-abled improve their social skills as well!</p>

<p>The worst that could possibly happen is that some of the schools might disregard the letter. I would definitely accept it.</p>

<p>I agree with Hunt. Just make sure that it is clear that this is a supplementary letter, to make it as easy as possible for the schools. I remember one school asking me to write “SUPPLEMENTARY RECOMMENDATION” at the top, or something to make it identifiable as extra. I also wouldn’t send more than 3 letters (with two being the required academic ones).</p>