These posts make me happy I am not on Facebook. But I do sometimes worry that I’m missing something by not being there.
“But I do sometimes worry that I’m missing something by not being there.”
Not this week, you’re not. 
@deb922 I could have written your post #14. We are frugal, and most everything we do is well analyzed and thought through (in our case, maybe too much so). Maybe I’m jealous a little of their ability to do things on a whim or disregard what I see as potentially harmful consequences. I try to remind myself this is who I am and I (mostly) lead the life I want.
I see the financial info/tax returns of approximately 275 people a year. After 30 years, it still astounds me how some people spend their money. Some of those people on Facebook having amazing amounts of fun/vacations/eating out/running around have enormous amounts of debt. No amount of fun is worth that to me.
DIL has a formula she applies to posts taking into account the number of over-the-top bragging/gushing in a given month and correlating it to how miserable the person is in real life. It’s pretty funny when she explains her algorithm
It absolutely hurts when you read some of the things on FB and CC. I guess I am sometimes jealous for sure. But I also feel real sadness for the potential that did not happen.
S is so smart and talented. I cannot help but be sad when I look at his HS and college classmates that are so successful. He was higher class ranked, had higher SATs, went to a higher ranked school, blah, blah, blah. But he suffers from depression and another disease that has never been diagnosed. It is total and complete lack of motivation, aspiration, goals, drive. None, It doesn’t exist. Before you suggest, he is being treated and is on medication for depression, etc. it doesn’t do s…t. And he has changed doctors.
D1 is very successful and very involved in volunteer work. And a big donor to things she wants to support. Great thing to feel proud of, and I am,on FB and CC. But she works in finance in NYC. They have become the “evil” folks. Any ties to “Wall Street” make you evil. She has had numerous “friends” unfriend her since ske started get job 6 years ago. So people kind of look away in a condemning way when I mention where she works.
D2
Didn’t finish, haha.
D2, also very smart, the outstanding senior award in her major, blah, blah. She wants to save the world but found she cannot afford to live in these jobs. She found a job where she could make a decent living, but it sure didn’t work out. I’d like her to go back to graduate school. But that is not where she is leaning at the moment. Obviously it’s her decision.
So yes I do feel envious at times. Maybe more than at times. People on these sites, whose kids are in medical school or just landed promotion that are taking them to an exciting new location, tell me that “To each his/her own. If they are happy, that is all that matters.” I agree. But your kid is thriving. Mine isn’t.
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I do enjoy FB, but I keep number of friends very small. I hide their posts when they share too much or are too political, especially when I do not agree with them. I think FB is a great way of keeping in touch with family and friends. I love to see their travel pictures, great food they are eating, and major events in their lives.
@katliamom - I hear you…Unlike your friend, I am actually quite happy and content with my life. Even with all the ups and downs over the years like most people, I don’t have many regrets. It is just not as exciting as my FB pictures all the time.
I got off Facebook last week. Mostly because of the obvious election stress. Also though because I found myself keeping score. I have a few facebook friends who never “like” or comment on anything I do or say and in return post loads of pictures of their kids or vacations and so on. It felt so one sided -I would feel obligated to comment positively on something when obviously they felt no similar sense of obligation. I found myself resenting it.
I also felt like there was rarely any real discussion. If I posted a serious article about health or a current event (not political ) I would get no response. If I posted a picture of my dog -loads of responses.
Very superficial. I know that is why many people enjoy it -but it wasn’t working for me.
I don’t know that I’m necessarily jealous of people’s lives on facebook - sometimes it just makes me sad, thinking about my own family and wishing for what could have been. I have a very small number of friends on facebook - I think some people collect friends there to show their popularity, or what have you. If you’re my FB friend, I do think of you as someone who can be trusted. That doesn’t mean I’m going to expose all the negativity in my life. You’ll see the things that make me happy - my dogs, my daughter, restaurants I like to eat at, inspirational quotes, running. If you’re someone I have to “friend” (relative or the like) who posts a lot of negativity and angry political things that I don’t agree with - I’m not seeing them because I either unfollow you or restrict you.
I have quite a few CC friends who have become FB friends - they are the people I’d like to spend more time with!
FB makes me more…curious rather than jealous. It brings out the nosey side of me that I know shouldn’t be there. But I truly just am curious and not jealous.
For instance, by now most of us can roughly estimate different careers and incomes. I know or can kind of figure out your income if you are a nurse or teacher and your husband is an engineer or something similar. Knowing that information is what makes me curious about your brand new McMansion, your three times a year vacation and the college tour pictures that include stops at a popular private school that I know costs >$55K/year.
So my nosey side is dying to know how all that is shaking down at their house! Was there a trust fund? Or a nice will? Or has this couple just saved like misers to make all this happen? I truly just find it fascinating and honestly there is no jealousy!! I am so content with what we have and so thankful–I really don’t get jealous. Ok, maybe I get jealous at the people who seem to LOVE exercise and can stay athletically cut and trim. That’s the only thing I get jealous of because I really don’t love the exercise process.
But in regards to money and material things–My upbringing was very modest and some would say at the poverty level with a single mom. I paid for every.single.thing I’ve ever had including my college, grad, school and even my own wedding. In my world, that’s just how it was and it has only been over the years where I realized that’s not how it is for everyone else! I remember being away at college and my roommates parents came and bought her hundreds of dollars of groceries and supplies from Target and I was just speechless!!! What??
And then as friends were getting married I learned that parents paid for the WHOLE wedding!! H and I saved and paid for the entire reception ourselves. We even have the receipt! When young couple friends started buying houses a super close friend revealed her parents had given them $30K to help with a downpayment!! Wow?!
So…yes and no. I truly have never had a jealous moment over friends trips and “stuff.” I AM, however, nosey about the relative ease at which some do it and I just always want to know how. I realize this is not a socially acceptable thing to be nosey about though so I have to keep a lid on it. And finally, CC has taught me to be wayyyy too curious about how people are paying for college so I’ve had to learn to keep a lid on that as well!
I am not jealousy with travel post. I find them more interesting than other posts. I may look up places I saw on FB to plan my next trip. Most FB posts are not that interesting to me.
Thank you for posting this! Very interesting and thought-provoking responses.
No, not in the least! Our family leads a very simple life and is the little things that make me happy. Things like the beautiful weather (today’s snow, yesterday’s warmth and sunshine), my dog & cat, a wonderful family dinner around the dining room table, my garden, and a good night’s sleep! This life is so wonderful and every day is precious.
I love seeing photos on FB of people’s meals (gives me cooking ideas), their decorating (more ideas), their travel to places I will never go (makes me feels as if I’m there), their children (love this so much to see far away friend’s families), the funny jokes, and more. The only thing I get tired of is the harsh political stuff that slams people who believe otherwise.
I am shocked so many adults feel jealousy. That is very sad. My mother always told me jealousy was a wasted emotion. She was right!
I enjoy being on Facebook and finding a way to connect with people who are distant geographically but close to my heart. Once I even found out about a close friend of my older daughters’ being in Albuquerque for a conference and we were driving through the next day. All of us live 1000+ miles from there but we were able to meet for dinner. What fun!
But there is a downside. I try not to be so positive that it provokes jealousy or other bad feelings but I also don’t want to go on and dish the dirt that would make something more realistic. I try to make things funny and I really appreciate the funny things other people post. One of my favorite groups is a local cloud appreciation society. Nothing like beautiful skies to even out your day!
I also hate the conspiracy theory political postings. That little arrow on the top right of every post is your friend. You can “hide all by wackadoodle politics” or whatever the “news source” is and a lot of that stuff disappears. Or, you can download FB purity and get rid of ads and any post with any keyword you choose to not see. I can’t wait until they have it available for the phone app!
If I got jealous every time a friend posted life stuff on FB I’d be jealous all the time. I actually post very little because 1) I don’t like to announce I’m away and our house is empty and 2) I’m just not a big poster. I don’t write those life updates at holiday time either.
I use FB mostly to play scrabble with my friends.
In my world, too many friends’ fb posts are trivial. The dogs got groomed, so 6 pictures. Four views from an airplane window. That where they live, no on street parking tomorrow. It doesn’t connect me.
I still think of fb as a form of personal bulletin board. But some don’t know what to share or how to edit themselves. They aren’t giving an update as much as announcing they exist.
When it’s a real update, fine.
No. I’m never jealous of my FB friends. I like my friends to be having fun. What I hate is when someone really runs into health problems especially. And I know sometimes that the ones who always seem to be traveling and having fun are the very ones with the problems.
I love dogs. But I don’t need to see about lost dogs in San Diego or Dallas…I live thousands of miles from there. I’m not going to be much help getting them home!
I try to share fun things on FB. My friends list isn’t all that huge.
@deb922, you know there are ways you can travel very inexpensively. Get one of those Delta Amex cards when they are having a big promotion (60-70K miles just for signing up), put all your purchases on the Amex. Get a free companion certificate while you’re at it. And before you know it, you have enough miles for two international tickets. If you go during the low season, you can get a low mileage ticket, for the security cost only.
Last year we went to Sorrento, Italy for a week in September. Airfare-free. Not including the hotel, we spent about $100 a day on the trip. That included all food, alcohol, coffee, tours, train, bus, ferry transportation, EVERYTHING. The hotel was about $150 per night for a luxurious hotel, but we could have stayed for much cheaper. We had a great time, did everything we wanted, and it was a pretty inexpensive vacation for Europe. You don’t have to spend a ton of money to have a blast, just watch your wallet while you’re over there, and the Euro is a great deal nowadays. Travel is something you don’t have to forego or be jealous of others about. Sure, you may not have a fancy vacation, but so what? If your husband doesn’t want to go, do it on your own or take a friend. If it’s not pricey, who will complain?
I was on Facebook for about 6 months. Though my son would get on it and I wanted to understand it and be a part of it. What bugged me about FB far outweighed what I liked about it. Nothing to do with jealousy. Just stupidity of it all. Far, far, far too much “who in the world cares” reactions to what I saw posted there. Huge waste of time.
Son had no interest. Neither did daughter. Deleting my account felt very good. Haven’t looked back.
Never felt jealous in my entire life. But this could be because we can afford most if not all of the ‘things’ my friends can afford, and I do not like “luxury” in its most common sense. Fancy hotels, Michelin restaurants, business class flights, expensive jewelry and such have zero value to me (though I certainly spend a lot on other less conventional luxuries). I do admit to rolling my eyes each time when I see yet another collection of ‘the real housewives’-style pictures posted by a friend, but that’s a whole 'nother story.
I know that one day I’ll feel enormously jealous when my friends post pictures of their still alive parents… and I don’t. But not today.