But every once in a while I dream of throwing caution to the wind and doing something spontaneous.>>>>>>>>
Well, I did allow cheap to coincide with spontaneous (impulsive) and we are going on a 4 day trip to Iceland in March. It was too good of a deal to pass up with Icelandic Air. If I can see the northern lights, I will be happy for a long time afterward.
Sounds great, @VaBluebird – hope you enjoy it!
Okay, see, VaBluebird, now we’re jealous of you. I’d love to go to Iceland!
I’ve seen the Northern lights briefly, but…my husband recently posted this video of staying at glasstopped igloos in Finland, where you can see the Northern lights from your bed, and it is fantastic. One of these days!
My point was being envious of whatever it is that you wish you were better at. My original post was about travel but it’s really about not worrying and being spontaneous. I wish I was better at both. I am a world class worrier.
It can definitely be that someone’s kid got that great job at Google. Or into the school your kid didn’t. Or that the kids stayed close to home and yours are across the country. Or people who run half marathons and go on great bike rides.
When my D was breaking up with her boyfriend of 5 years, she was so envious of her classmates who were getting engaged. Not because she wanted to marry her long term boyfriend but because she thought that is where she would like to be at that point in her life. Not staring over and newly single.
And it doesn’t have to be on Facebook. Hey, I’m envious of those who can afford college and give a large lump sum for the wedding. Try and read the wedding posts here, 
My sister shows me pictures of other people’s travels in Facebook. I love to look at those kind of pictures; they don’t make me jealous – unless a group of friends went together and I wasn’t invited.
@deb922 I totally get what you are talking about. I remember when I first discovered this website a couple years ago when my daughter was applying for schools and read some the stats kids posted, and just got that pit of the stomach feeling of both awe and discouragement at the same time. It wasn’t really jealousy per say, rather a sick feeling, a feeling that even though my kid is pretty amazing, there are so many out there that are far more amazing, how can she possibly compete? I know I didn’t like that feeling, and I kept telling myself not to come back to this website.
But something kept me coming back, and keeps me coming back. I don’t read those types of posts anymore.
What I do know is that no matter how amazing something appears, there is a flipside that isn’t always so pretty. The thing is, when we do have wonderful experiences, we usually forget about the pain involved.
“how can she possibly compete?”
I get how people feel this way but why feel one needs to compete?
I guess my own perspective is formed by knowing people across the spectrum in terms of wealth and education. I haven’t seen a lot of correlation between happiness and levels of wealth and educational attainment. I really haven’t. Everyone wants there basic needs met but after that I don’t know. I know some pretty miserable people who seem to be successful to the outside world and plenty of people who live a fairly simple life who are super happy. I know that probably sounds corny but its been my experience.
As long as the jealousy doesn’t consume you, I think it’s a pretty natural, normal reaction. For some jealousy can be motivating - to make a change in life .
Sometimes I have to wonder if jealousy is a sign that really your life isn’t so bad - because if you had other major issues, you wouldn’t be focussing on the “small stuff”! 
"Sometimes I have to wonder if jealousy is a sign that really your life isn’t so bad - because if you had other major issues, you wouldn’t be focussing on the “small stuff”! "
Yes, I have to agree with this. I have seen people talking about some of the little things they take for granted in their lives…complaining about their kids being too busy, too social, too x,y, and z. And I think, really, you’re complaing about this? You’re so lucky! Then I worry about my own family issues, see a kid who can’t even function, and think whatever do I really have to worry about. Things can always be so much worse. Fretting about the small stuff is a luxury.
Interesting because I just spoke with a close friend (who is also a FB friend). Her child actually DOES have the great job at Google. She is also dealing with a difficult situation in her life.
As I posted previously, everyone has a back story.
I actually like to hear more happy news from my friends on FB than a lot of negative and bad news from some friends via emails. There are just so many sad news (CC included) that I am really glad when I hear something good happen to people, even for people I don’t know very well.
I don’t know why most people only share good news on FB, but are more inclined to only share bad news via emails. I wish some of my family/friends would share more happy news. I guess some people may feel it is bragging by sharing good news, but it is ok to do it on FB. Maybe that’s why I like FB.
I wouldn’t say that I am jealous about anything I see on FB, but I was feeling bad when I saw recent wedding photos of my friend’s children’s weddings. The ones that really made me sad were from the weekend that my daughter was supposed to get married. She called it off with less than two weeks notice. It has caused a lot of sadness, worry and also anger in our family.
I normally really enjoy the milestone moments that people share , but it has been hard to look at those.
We moved a few years ago, and although I have developed friendships here, I haven’t gone out with friends unless my kids and/or H are there. So, when I see FB posts of women going out together or in a group, I feel lonely; I’m obviously not a good enough friend with anyone here to just hang out with people by myself. I realize that this is my issue, and that I could reach out to them, but the non-invites get to me all the same.
Otherwise, I’m ok with FB and don’t get jealous when I see people’s travel pictures, brag posts about their kids, etc. In fact, I like them. I have some FB friends who are considerably better off financially than we are (though we do fine now), but I can look at their extravagant, super luxury vacation photos and realize that my H and I made different choices in life (the biggest one being that I’m a SAHM who homeschools) and came from different backgrounds, and I’m perfectly ok and content with that. Besides, I tend to focus on my family and parents, and I’m extremely blessed. And, we take our own nice vacations at least a couple times a year, so I’m blessed in that way, too. If I weren’t able to do the latter or I didn’t have my family, I could see myself getting down and jealous scrolling through FB.
Right now, it doesn’t take as long to scroll through FB, as I unfollowed (not unfriended) some people who are still going on and on about the election or who post political things ad nauseam. I need a break from this.
There will always be someone who has more, does more, has a better job, a seemingly better marriage, closer relationship with extended family, or kids that seem happier or more “successful.” Trying to compete with that would be an exercise in futility, so I don’t. I feel extremely blessed in most respects, so I don’t allow jealousy to take root, and never have. My sister has spent her life stewing in the bile of jealousy-you name it, she can find the time and effort to be bitter about it. I can’t imagine expending that kind of negative energy constantly. It must be exhausting to be her.
Other people’s posts don’t bother me a bit. I know that everyone is broken and that no one lives their Facebook life. We all present the best of ourselves to other people, even IRL. Few people see the deep insecurity, or struggling marriage, or child with mental illness, or addiction, or financial problem, or chronic pain. But those things are often there, alongside the fabulous vacation or Yale acceptance.
Everyone is just trying to get through the day.
I rarely post private things on FB but my FB photo was getting long in tooth. I happened to be in FL and went to a beach just around sunset. My brother took a photo of me with the sunset going down over the water. It was a nice picture so I decided to use it as my new profile picture. I got a lot of compliments about how wonderful it must have been to be there. Most assumed I was there on vacation. The reality was quite different. I was in FL for a memorial service of an uncle who had passed away suddenly. The beach while beautiful had experienced a red tide recently and though it couldn’t be seen in the picture was full of dead and decaying fish and really stunk. The moral is that while I enjoy my life the picture, while pretty, encapsulated nothing of what makes life rewarding to me. It was just a pretty picture.
Great post, lvvcsf. We rarely get the whole back story.
Of course, some people do have wonderful, carefree lives. But I tend to like the ones who are kind and giving, despite this, not lording it over others. They can post whatever they want. It’s the ones who think their privilege should impress is that bug me. Or, put another way, that do not impress me.
I’ve pretty much decided that my facebook page is for ME! If I want to take a selfie to celebrate (for myself) something I’ve done or accomplished, I will! I don’t care what people think. It’s easy to unfollow or unfriend someone if their posts get to be “too much”. I don’t use my facebook page to whine or complain. I want it to share what makes me happy- whether it be my pets, some travel, fun food or finishing/winning a race! I tried to share some tangential political views (like how I was raised to never doubt that a woman could be president) and it turned into an argument (of course). So- I’m pretty careful about that kind of stuff.
I don’t tend to get jealous about other people’s posts, because as has been noted here, you never know the whole story or what might be hurting in some other part of their lives. I don’t enjoy all the baby posts by new moms and moms of toddlers, because I am not that into babies and kids, but I appreciate that the child is the center of the poster’s universe and they have every right to celebrate everything about it!
I do get jealous of new grandchildren announcements as I want more grandchildren! Seriously, I did have to talk to myself about not getting bent out of shape about not being invited to somethings. I realized that I lead a great life and I create my own happiness. But I still have grandchild envy.