Does my essay make me sound weak? PLEASE critique!!

<p>The prompt asked:
Select a creative work - a novel, a film, a musical piece, a painting, or other work of art - that has influenced the way you view the world and the way you view yourself. Discuss the impact the work had has on you.</p>

<p>I feel that my essay doesn’t convey how much I’ve grown as a result of the film that well. Can someone please help me and read my rough draft and tell me what they think about me after they’ve read it???
Please please please? Thanks in advance.</p>

<p>yer, okay, ill give it a shot. be a break for me redrafting mine for the upteenth time.</p>

<p>k thanks, im sending it over right now!</p>

<p>anyone else willing to read it? please help!!</p>

<p>i’d love to help</p>

<p>thanks, im sending it to you ‘ultimateslacker’</p>

<p>I can as well</p>

<p>here it comes ksortino…
thanks</p>

<p>anyone else willing to look over it?? it would be greatly appreciated</p>

<p>i’ll look over it</p>

<p>anyone else? i wont turn any readers down!</p>

<p>sure, pm me</p>

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<p>I’m not sure how good I’d be at helping you since I don’t really know how much you’ve grown, but I can certainly try. PM me.</p>