<p>In my supplement my closing sentences for two paragraphs go as following:</p>
<p>Unlike the markets, I can predict that my uptrend of finance and fine arts at Penn would reach new highs each consecutive year. </p>
<p>Unlike most fund managers, I can assure that my downtrend of entrepreneurship at Penn would profit the University and me together.</p>
<p>Does this come off as arrogant, I don’t mean them to, I am just trying to be a little witty, but fear that some adcom will think I am a stuck up arrogant SOB and then reject me.</p>
<p>yeah it is for the normal one, I am doing my own spin on it, it is kind of repetitive I agree, but they are at the end of separate paragraphs, so I feel that it doesn’t become boringly repetitive. </p>
<p>That’s just how I write, I can’t really write differently.</p>
<p>hmmm, maybe those two sentences when isolated seem that way, but I think in the general context of my essay it isn’t pedantic. Its all a metaphor comparing the “paths” at penn to “trends” on a price chart.</p>
<p>Ok, calm down, I am not talking about charting in my essay. I am pretty sure even value based schools realize that there are trends and they do at times look at the price char of a security. Its more of a visual thing, heck I even reference one up on wall street in my essay, so I don’t think I will get rejected just for talking about an up and down trend.</p>
<p>Are you trying to make a comment about Peter Lynch. I thought he was a respected mutual fund manager in his day. Maybe he is no Warren Buffett but I thought he was decent. </p>
<p>I talked about my interest in investing, doing finance, taking some specific classes. None of this matters if the adcom that reads my essay did marketing or some other business field, only a very ornery adcom who did finance and just hates any form of charts would take offense. Hopefully that doesn’t happen.</p>
<p>yeah, I am not trying to be “talented” by referencing him, I truly did get interested in this stuff when I read that book, and I only mentioned it here to show that my essay isn’t some crazy charting fest. That’s all. </p>
<p>@mccormick</p>
<p>I guess I asked for that with the thread title and all, but a little civility is always nice.</p>
<p>I think the bottom line is if you think it works for what you are doing, thats more important than the opinions of anonymous people on the internet. But thats just my two cents.</p>
<p>Personally, it comes off as a bit contrived and slightly awkward, just in terms of the sentences themselves, when I read it. I don’t think the readers will be offended by any references to up or downtrends though. I also don’t see it as arrogant.</p>
<p>However, like dsfrances said, it comes down to what you think of it, not what we think. Also, I’m not really sure why you’re soliciting feedback when you seem pretty set on using it regardless.</p>
<p>well no, I wasn’t too fond of those sentences to begin with, so I am considering changing them. I am not dead set on keeping them. I would just like a set of fresh eyes on them, even if they are anonymous strangers who inherently would like to get accepted over me. Haha.</p>
<p>Gotcha, well in that case my opinion is above. Though obviously, my interpretation, like everyone else’s, is taken out of context from the essay as a whole. And yeah, haha very true, be careful about that (no worries with me though!).</p>