Does Your Child Ride Home with Other Students and Share Gas Money?

Parent Cafe
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<p>Just curious … if your car-less child gets a ride home with another student who has a car, does your child offer gas money? A boy from our town who attends DD’s college rode home with her this weekend (6 1/2 hours each way). She delivered him to the front door of his house. Wouldn’t you think he would have offered her some gas money? If my daughter were thoughtless enough to neglect to offer gas money to someone with whom she got a ride, I would remind her to do so. DD has purchased her own gas since she started a job at age 16. This was her first visit home with her driving (she flew last time) and we filled her tank for her when she got home. She ran around some during fall break, so she’ll need some on the return trip to school. A few weeks ago, DD and two other friends rode with another friend to a music festival that was just over an hour away. DD gave her friend $10 for gas, while the other two gave the girl nothing. I don’t get it … these are college-aged people; surely they don’t believe it costs $0 to run and maintain a car.</p>

<p>I told her the next time anyone asks to ride home with her, she needs to be able to tell them up front that she’ll need some gas money. Has anyone else dealt with this?</p>

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<p>If I have to go out of the way to give someone a ride, i expect money from them. I gave a girl a ride home from school two or three times and I had to go about 30 minutes out of the way each way- she gave me gas money without asking but i would have asked had she not. When I gave my roommate rides home, who lives 5 minutes from here, I didn’t even think about money (neither did she)… I mean, I was going there anyway, with or without her, and it was nice to have company.</p>

<p>in other words, if i were going to the same town, i probably wouldn’t have requested nor offered gas money… because the person is going there anyway. But if i were requesting a ride from someone and I knew they had to go out of there way to take me home, or if i had to go out of the way to take someone home then i would request money… if only just for that inconvenience and cost of gas for going out of the way.</p>

<p>I took a vacation with 11 friends back in may, i’m sure some of you remember that, and we drove there in four cars (3 people per car). I know in the car I rode in, nobody asked us for money however i filled the tank at one stop and I know another guy did too and then the owner of the car filled it the other time.</p>

<p>When I take small day trips to the beach or to whatever else with friends, we don’t split gas money, however we all have cars and pretty much take turns driving so it evens itself out in the end.</p>

<p>and while i think its great that your daughter gave somebody 10 dollars for gas… I am guessing their car probably gets about 25 mpg, and with an hour each way, depending on traffic, i’m guessing that’s about 50 miles each way , which means about 4 gallons of gas was used total, which probably totalled to about 10 dollars… so your daughter overpaid. By a lot. Why should she pay for the entire bill. If she were going to offer something based on 4 people then it should have been 2.50. (that’s just my opinion.)</p>

<p>and i mean, i see where you’re coming from and that’s great and all, but i personally wouldn’t expect gas money when you’re going to that town in the first place. Now if it’s a big town and the person lives on the other side of it 20 minutes away, then maybe…</p>

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<p>That’s pretty rediculous. I think that the passenger should split the gas money evenly. Whenever I go on a roadtrip with friends it’s assumed that we split the cost. In fact, if there is enough people, we usually let the car owner off without paying at all. Your daughter did that person a huge favor. With a drive that long there is no excuse not to pay gas money.</p>

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<p>Unfortunately, mine has to come home in a plane. But I am astounded that the boy didn’t offer to fill her tank! She probably used two tanks getting home and back, and gas prices are not cheap. </p>

<p>Most likely, he was just being thoughtless…sometimes, the practicalities of life never occur to even college-aged kids. And it’s also tough for these kids to ask for what is due them. She just should put the word out that she is willing to give rides, but the cost is a tank of gas.</p>

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<p>How rude! </p>

<p>At my D’s school, need-a-rides are posted under the Campus Notices “Personals” which arrive in their email boxes daily. ALWAYS, the kids needing a ride offer gas $ and snacks. They also offer music and conversation, whatever the driver prefers.</p>

<p>Even when I was in college, we paid gas $ to the driver.</p>

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<p>When my S rode from Tulane with a friend, I told him to offer gas money and suggested an amount. I intended the amount to cover <em>more</em> than half of the gas, as the kid’s car was getting the wear and tear, etc.</p>

<p>I agree that she should ask for a gas split. If this makes her uncomfortable, she needs to “try out” and practice different ways of asking: “Give you a ride? Great! That will help a lot because gas is really getting expensive and splitting it really helps. Plus it’ll be fun to have you,” or “Sure. When you ride home in someone else’s car, how do you usually handle the gas split?” or “Sure, when I give a ride I usually have the rider fill the tank the first time we stop…”</p>

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<p>I’ve given rides and accepted rides. When my friend from law school gave me a ride home (dropped me off at the T stop, not my door!) I paid all of the gas - filled up his tank 1/2 way through and at the end. His car did get really good mileage (35 mpg?) so it wasn’t that hard to make the gesture. He protested a bit, but, for me, it was still cheaper than paying for any other mode of transportation home - flight, train, bus, whatever - all would have been at least $100 and only flying would have been faster. </p>

<p>Now, I’ve done a lot of the driving with friends and many of them never pay gas or contribute minimally. SplashMom, believe it or not, some college students do NOT know what it costs to operate a car. They don’t know how much insurance, gas, depreciation, oil changes, and repairs cost, so they don’t understand that paying the gas is something that they should do. Often, it’s the kids who don’t have as much money who understand this the best, because they have to pay everything for their cars. Kids without cars or kids with their parents credit cards don’t get this at all.</p>

<p>My take: next time your D drives him anywhere, she should state that she wants gas money and ask for a certain amount. Six and a half hours = 400 miles, at 25 mpg, that’s 16 gallons - she should ask for at least $25, which is still a complete steal for that trip.</p>

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<p>i guess i’m just weird, because if i’m going from point a to point b, and somebody else needs a ride from point a to point b, i would never even think of asking them for a penny. i’m going there anyway. and it’s nice to have them with me. </p>

<p>now on the other hand i’f i’m going from a to b and someone needs a ride to c, that’s a different story.</p>

<p>I mean, I don’t think that’s rude of me… that’s just how i’ve always approached it. </p>

<p>I don’t understand why I should profit money on a trip that i would be making in the first place ie coming home from college, regardless of if somebody was with me or not. Honestly, if somebody offered me money in that situation, I would give it back to them.</p>

<p>if i’m driving people to a concert, then it’s fine if they want to pitch in gas, but not something i would require because something like that with my group of friends we take turns driving to different events, like i said above. (for example i went to the beach three times this summer with the same group of people. a different person drove each time, gas evened out in the end) now if i’m catching a ride to a show with a group of people i don’t normally drive with, then i’ll pitch in 5 bucks or something.</p>

<p>and JM, i like this one - Give you a ride? Great! That will help a lot because gas is really getting expensive and splitting it really helps.</p>

<p>Here’s one for you - your kids are car pooling to a concert and the guy driving gets pulled over for not making a complete stop at a stop sign. Does the driver pay the ticket in full, or do you split it up amongst all of the people in the car?</p>

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<p>PS. I love JmMom’s suggestions of how to ask for gas money.:)</p>

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<p>I agree that it is rude and inconsiderate not to offer/pay gas money when catching a ride. It’s one thing if you invite someone on a trip, another entirely when they are mooching free transportation.</p>

<p>We ran into this some this summer. We have a boat, and boats do suck gas. My son had a group of friends that were constantly calling and asking if they could go out on lake with him. Out of about 6 boys, only 1 or 2 ever chipped in on gas. My son had to pay for gas himself, so he finally got irritated enough that he charged them upfront for a day on the lake. A couple of the boys seemed to disappear after that–my opinion was that it showed they were taking advantage as long as it lasted. When the free ride was over, they moved on to another sucker.</p>

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<p>splashmom, we’ve experienced the same thing over the years (similar to the other thread about some families taking advantage!). When one of my Ds was in h/s, she went to an arts school which was a 40 minute drive away. There was public transit which made it a trip of approximately 1 1/2 hrs. each way and she and her friends did this for one year til she got her license. After that, she had access to a car and drove everyday. Every day she picked up her two friends at their houses (often they weren’t ready) which was not exactly ‘on her way’ and made the drive. Most days she drove them home, too (probably 90% of the time) depending on their schedules, often waiting for one or both of them if they had something going on after school. Not once in two years did either of those girls or either of their families offer so much as ONE tank of gas, let alone sharing the costs. I don’t buy the excuse that kids don’t know what the cost is of running a car (their parents certainly do!), and even if they don’t know that, they surely know that it would have cost them over approximately $150/month in transportation costs for the train and bus. My D didn’t want to cause a fuss and she enjoyed the company but it still annoys me, can you tell? :)</p>

<p>We also had similar issues with another D, who we picked up often for weekends, etc. and then she took a car to school and often gave friends a ride back and forth. Same thing, no offers made to pay anything.</p>

<p>I don’t think there’s anything wrong with asking for people to chip in. Whether it costs the driver any more or not isn’t the issue, the issue is that it is saving the passengers a lot! It amazes me how many people don’t have this common courtesy.</p>

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<p>Fendergirl - see, I thought it was only appropriate to pay for the gas. His car had all the wear and tear; we’re both poor students; and he did me a massive favour. I mean, he drove me some 600-650 miles. It’s not like he was driving me from my law school to and from the local Wal-Mart. It really would have cost me anywhere from $100 (train to a bus to a bus to my parents picking me up) to $200 (flying) to get home - so the $40 or so in gas was a great deal.</p>

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<p>aries, i’m not saying there’s anything wrong with it… i’m just saying if you were catching a ride home with me… my car would have gotten that wear and tear regardless of if you were with or not… i would have used that gas if you were with or not… etc. </p>

<p>I see what you’re saying, i’m just saying if someone would have offered me the 40 bucks I would have either given it back, or bought them something with it because i personally dont think i have any right collecting that money when it was no additional expense to myself.</p>

<p>I bummed money off a friend the other weekend over and over and it amounted to about 30 dollars and when i tried to pay my friend back I got turned down and ‘wasn’t allowed to because it was a favor’ so i bought a tv show on dvd that i knew my friend wanted but couldn’t justify buying and gave it as a ‘thank you’ gift. :)</p>

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<p>they should offer to pay</p>

<p>my D has friends who driver her around ALOT, and even if friends would still be going to the same place, i chip in for gas money…i do it because it is the right thing to do- I am not paying for insurance, i am not paying for upkeep, I am not having to drop D off and pick her up, it is the LEAST I can do</p>

<p>People that don’t offer are cheap and are taking advantage of nice people who do not ask</p>

<p>Fendergirl, if you had no car, how would these people get home, somehow they would end up paying someone, and this is okay</p>

<p>Why not just take the money? They got a good deal…</p>

<p>I have had moms bring me plants, and Starbucks cards because I have driven their kids around so much, as an adult, who is comfortable financially and who is able to drive them around while many parents work or have younger kids to deal with, I am glad to help, and most of the time, the group of parents take turns, so no $$ would ever change hands, but a couple of moms who just can’t help, are very sweet and give little presents as a way of thanking me</p>

<p>It is gracious and kind, and they feel good that they can thank me in that way</p>

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<p>I think it also depends on whether or not things end up balancing out. When it makes my life a lot easier, I’ll pay for gas (and often pack snacks for the trip). From my selfish perspective, it makes people willing to give me rides again. :)</p>

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<p>My D fully expects to pay her share for gas if she can find a ride home to share. Unforunately, she has been unable to find a one, so we have picked her up/dropped her off from school, about four hours away.</p>

<p>Guess who pays for that gas?</p>

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<p>We did that first semester freshman year and my son always offered $$ whether it was to the mall or 30 miles home. It was for gas and for the convenience of being able to get to the mall or go home.</p>

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<p>city, because it didn’t cost me anything. why should i take their money? sure, if I had no car they would have to find another way, and maybe that other way would charge them money. That’s none of my business. I was going from A to B and i knew they needed to go from A to B so they can tag along. I did them a favor. </p>

<p>I mean, I’ve only ever given rides home a half a dozen times - three to a girl who lived 30 minutes away, and three to my roommate who i went to high school with. i took the money for the 30 minutes away and it never came up for the girl in town.</p>

<p>and ‘driving kids around’ is different than ‘giving someone a ride home who lives in your town’. If my roommates at school was like like “hey she has a car, maybe she can drive us to the mall”… you can bet your butt they would have been paying me gas money. but if I said “hey guys, i’m going to the mall” and my roommate says “oh, i wanted to go there too, mind if i tag along” i would have said no problem and no gas money involved. That did not inconvenice me in any way nor cost me any extra money. Why should I take their money towards the cost of my vehicle when it would have cost me that money anyway? No offense to all of you, but I think that’s wrong… and that’s just my personal opinion.</p>

<p>My grandmom always tries to give me money when i pick her up and take her to places with me and i always give it back to her and tell her to donate it to a charity or something like that. I think she obliges however i’m not certain.</p>

<p>now i think if you want to give somebody a ‘thank you’ for the ride… then that’s fine. if my roommate would have said ‘let’s stop and i’ll buy us lunch as a thank you for giving me a ride home’… no problem. Even if she would have said ‘here’s 5 dollars as a thank you for giving me a ride home’… sure, no problem…it’s nice to thank people. But if she worded it as here’s 5 dollars towards gas, I don’t want that… i would have been using the gas anyway… That probably doesn’t make sense to anyone else, but it does to me.</p>

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<p>My daughter often gets a ride to or from her college 16 hours away. She buys gas and pays $50 towards the trip. We would not be able to fly her home for less then $100 so feel it’s a bargain to get a ride. We talked to my son about getting riders for when he comes home for Thanksgiving break and just asking them for a tank fill up. It’s just about a tank full each way.</p>

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<p>I guess I’m just weird. :)</p>