I’m only in freshman year. I’m just doing horrible. As far as ECs go: I don’t have any. My parents don’t care about school at all, they just expect me to pass and attend this nearby university. So they won’t let me join any clubs. I also don’t even have a ride (I would have done this on my own). My grades were good the first semester. Not as good (but still very well) as I expected. I started getting depressed towards the end. I got an 87 in AP Physics, 91 and 96 in an Honors class, and a 98 in P.E. I’m in five classes now, two of which I’m really failing (>10%), the other ones I have Cs and Ds in. I had really high expectations for this year. I used to have high As and I used to love getting feedback and appreciation for my work/scores. I used to be really into subjects that I’m just not into anymore (I’m in Precalculus Honors as a freshman when I should be in Algebra I). I can’t really get help from anyone. The counselor is incompetent to be honest. I don’t have health insurance to get help from some professional, and I can’t afford therapy. I’m grounded (for getting low grades) so I can’t talk to any of my friends for help (no phone and I’ve never been allowed to hang out with my friends anyways) or leave my room. My parents are really abusive as well as my siblings and there’s always drama in my house that involves me. And my friends I have lost anyways, because I came out to them but they don’t believe me and I have been rude to all of my friends because of how I’m feeling. I’ve also gotten in trouble at school too. And I have issues with a lot of people that’s always on my mind. I can’t think at all when it comes to school. I’ve been doing zig zag patterns on scantrons and turning them in, and I don’t do my homework or test and I turn them in blank. I just can’t think. I have a lot of work due for two classes I might actually fail, and I am not sure what I will do. I just want to give up now. I used to be really ambitious and want to go to much better schools (not exactly Ivies, but still really great schools). I am lost. All of these talks about motivation don’t help me forget about my problems. I told my family I was stressed out and couldn’t focus and they really just took as it an excuse for being lazy. I can’t really tell them the problems I’m having, and they would just punish me. I am not close to my family at all.
Sorry if this is really incoherent–there are probably spelling errors too–I’ve been very tired.
idk what to say. good luck. remember after a dark night there’s always a brighter day ahead.
Do you have anyone you can talk to? A trusted teacher maybe, or a religious leader? Have you at least maybe tried your GC, even if she seems incompetent? She may at least be able to connect you with someone who can help you, especially if there is abuse involved.
Good luck, OP. We’re all rooting for you!
@butterfreesnd Yeah we did talk (twice) she did nothing. I’m talking to my teacher now, but what will that do?
You are grounded and have no phone but have internet access? You take AP Physics as a freshman but have bad grades?
Don’t worry about college, worry about high school. If you are only allowed to go to school, no clubs or friends, you have to do the best you can in the classroom.
You have health insurance. It’s now mandatory. And all health insurance plans come with basic mental health stuff. So go see your counselor and say you feel helpless, can’t think, have alienated your friends, and you think you need to meet with a therapist, can s/he recommend one? You can also look at your insurance and see which ones are “in plan” or “in network”.
There should be buses to bring kids back from school, so join clubs that end on time for you to take the bus home.
Are your parents recent immigrants or were raised in another culture? Have they attended college?
@twoinanddone Literally yes.
@MYOS1634 I actually do not. There are no buses, the only bus is the school bus. Which comes too late in the morning and leaves too early in the afternoon.
How do all students in clubs and sports go home if the school bus leaves early in the afternoon?
Note: even if your parents see you at the local college, you may explain to them that having good extracurriculars and good test scores could get you up to a full tuition scholarship at that college. Wouldn’t it be good for you and them? (That’s pretty typical for public universities, especially “directionals”, ie. Central State University, University of South State…)
And in reality, as soon as you start doing your work again and start with clubs and work preparing the ACT or SAT, you prepare your exit to whichever college gives you more money :).
@myos1634 They all have rides and cars on their own, and I’m not allowed to get a ride with anyone. They understand that but they are purposely limiting me because they wouldn’t like me to leave and dorm.
Even a ride in a carpool with a parent driving?
Carpool with a parent driving at this age? I live far away from where other students live (not a very urban area–back to not having public transport
Erm, yes, there are lots of 14-16 year olds who don’t own a car and whose parents would have to drive them places.
You need to stop this back and forth. You need an appt w/your guid counselor or school social worker. We aren’t your confessors or therapists or life coaches.
@t26e4 But I come here feeling helpless, I’ve talked to them and they don’t do anything for me.
" My parents are really abusive as well as my siblings and there’s always drama in my house that involves me. "
What is the source of drama? Certainly there can’t be a drama when you do nothing wrong. Some details please.
“And my friends I have lost anyways, because I came out to them but they don’t believe me and I have been rude to all of my friends because of how I’m feeling.”
-I guess they aren’t your friends then. Make new ones.
" I’ve also gotten in trouble at school too. And I have issues with a lot of people that’s always on my mind."
It is YOUR life. You have to force yourself to get these people off of your heart.
“I’ve been doing zig zag patterns on scantrons and turning them in, and I don’t do my homework or test and I turn them in blank.”
Did your teacher ever try to talk to you? Talk to your principle or any teacher in authority with your familial problem and how it affect your studying. Good thing you are a Freshmen.
“I have a lot of work due for two classes I might actually fail, and I am not sure what I will do. I just want to give up now.”
- DO NOT GIVE UP. You will definitely regret.
“All of these talks about motivation don’t help me forget about my problems.”
-I understand. Lots of them sound cliche and boring, but it is YOUR problem and no one but you yourself can solve them. Not saying your problems aren’t anything, but there are kids who are REALLY abused(beating, malnourished, etc) and still do great in school and go to colleges. These kids go against their parents for their own goals. If your parents don’t allow carpool(which I have no idea why), do it secretly.
“I told my family I was stressed out and couldn’t focus and they really just took as it an excuse for being lazy. I can’t really tell them the problems I’m having, and they would just punish me. I am not close to my family at all.”
What problem? Do you have something else?
Look, I felt the same way in the second semester of my grade 11 year. My grandma went back home, a guy at the retirement home died, I did bad on my ACT, my dad yelled at me for doing bad on my ACT and parents constantly fight. On top of that, my marks weren’t great either, they weren’t as disastrous as you claim them to be, but disappointing nonetheless. Summer comes around and my family takes a tour around the states(Im from Canada btw) to visit several ivies and other top schools. My uncle came from india and joined us. Happy occasion… no. My mom and my uncle got into a fight on the very first day of the trip and it lasted throughout the vacation. What’s more is that we also moved houses, like 10 minutes away but still unpacking was hell. I too felt that I should give up, everything seemed to attack me all at once. However, I remember doing a chance me thread on here(thru a different account) and how everyone started discouraging me based on my ACT score. I enjoy making people feel stupid more than anything. So I started to work my a$s off and study for the ACT in the final month of summer vacation(august). However, I also simultaneously started to study for the SAT 2’s(Physics). My ACT was in september, and I needed to get my science score up from a 25. Kept working and voila, I went from a 29 to a 33(composite) and a 25 to a 36(science). Then the depression hit me again, I needed to get a 700+ on the physics subject test, and I had not finished taking senior level physics. Pushed through again, and got a 710 and 800 Math 2. Now this all happened in September and October, while school was going on. I had advanced functions(math), Physics(notoriously difficult) and data management(stats). I ended up getting a 97, 92, 97 respectively, marks that were unheard of, especially in physics(remem these are canadian marks, so they are super good). So as you can see, the odds were stacked against me, and I delivered one final performance, in which I only had one shot, it was a rather legendary semester if you ask me. Giving up is pointless, by not giving up, you atleast open yourself to the possibility of doing things you never would have before.