Hi, I’m trying to decide where to go to college and I’m quite stressed as time is running out for me. There’s three colleges right now that I can actually feasibly afford, and sadly none were my top choices at all.
I’m torn between West Chester University and Temple. I really like West Chester because I live near the town and I love the small town suburban vibe and the life that comes with it. My sister is definitely going to go there.
I have reservations about Temple because I’m not sure how much I’ll enjoy large school urban living. The area is also pretty dangerous I’ve heard. But I might have to go there? Or my third option Millersville which doesn’t seem like a very good school…
I don’t want to go to the same college as my sister because my whole life we have been treated as a unit. If we went to WCU we’d both be in the honors college which I have heard is really clique-y and tight knit. I wanted college to be my chance to explore who I am as a person and be independent and as much as I love my sister I’m scared going to the same college means I won’t be able to do that. People struggle to tell us apart and the little comments wear me down. I’m sick of sharing the same friends. I feel like no one cares about me as a person and they see us as a unit. I don’t want to be the campus twins. I want to have my own life as my own unique person. I promised myself I wouldn’t go to the same college as her but now I’m scared I’ll have too. I don’t know what to do!!!
Go where you want to go. I just looked it up, and WCU has 14,000 undergraduates. I know the honors college may be smaller, but it won’t be tiny.
My husband went to the same 5,000 person undergraduate as his identical twin (where I also went), and my roommate all 4 years also had her identical twin there. Neither of them was in the same friend group as their twin. College is different from high school. You’ll have different roommates, different classes, and presumably have different interests so you will join different clubs.
What majors are you and your sister planning to study?
WCU is a pretty big school. Even if you’re both in the honors college, unless you’re studying the same or very similar majors, you won’t be around each other much, and might rarely cross paths. If you can, live in a different dorm.
I can see being worried about people telling you apart. If you’re in the same classes/dorm, and your resemblance bothers you a lot, could you get a really different hairstyle? Or dress in a distinctive manner that’s different than your sister? If you’re studying different things, I don’t think you need to be worried about people telling you apart.
If you like suburban vibes, I don’t know that you’ll love Temple.
I agree that Temple might not be the best fit. It is also more expensive than the PASSHE schools, of which West Chester and Millersville are two of the better ones. Were you accepted to the honors college at Millersville?
I’d pick either of your two non-twin options and never look back.
Lots of kids have reservations about urban schools and end up loving it. Philly is a fun city. You will quickly learn to be street savvy (no, don’t walk home from the library at midnight alone, don’t take $60 out of the ATM at 2 am and yell to your friends across the street- “Wait for me, I’m getting cash from the ATM” (which I actually heard last weekend in NYC), You will learn to travel in groups late at night, use the streets with heavy police and security guard protection and not the random, poorly lit alley which saves you three minutes of walking.
I agree with others. When you choose a college, you are choosing people who made the same choice. It’s not like high school, where you had no choice but the people who lived in your area. You should go to West Chester. There are enough people that you can find your own tribe.
Thank you so much, this makes me feel a lot better. I’m pretty sure WCU honors college is only 80 seats but I guess that’s still a lot of people haha! Your story made me feel a lot better though : )
I was accepted to the honors college at Millersville. Honestly WCU and Temple are around the same price for me because Temple gave me a pretty large merit scholarship. The overthinker in me feels like I should go to Temple and then transfer if I need to just because if I went to WCU I couldn’t transfer to Temple bc the scholarship is only for freshman.
Why would you go to Temple with the mindset of transferring? When students do that, it’s harder to make friends because mentally you’re already half way out the door. Also it is harder for transfer students to get money.
Btw, for your earlier statement of how you don’t want your sister to influence your life, that is exactly what you are doing. She made her choice, but you are not proactively choosing what is best for yourself. Rather, you are making a reactive choice based on someone else’s actions.
It’s normal for siblings to want different paths for a whole host of reasons. In your case, I would think about the following:
Why do I not want to be with my twin? Are there ways to avoid or minimize those things if we are in the same school? If I choose a different school to avoid my twin and I don’t like it, how will that impact our relationship? Can I talk to my twin about my needs (and theirs) if we’re at the same place?
Personally, I think you should go to the school that’s your top choice, regardless of your twin. If you’re are at the same school, see if you can both agree on ways to be your own people as much as possible.
Your twin will be your twin forever, and this could be a great opportunities to start resetting the terms of your relationship for adulthood. I doubt you want the precedent to be that they choose someone and you run in the opposite direction!
You likely won’t see your twin (much) but Millersville is a fine as school as West Chester and will give you some independence.
Besides, it will be what you do at school, not whether you go to Millersville or West Chester.
But if you major is different and dorm are different than your twins even at W Chester, you’d probably rarely see them.
But in this case, MIllersville seems a fine choice.
You applied there - you shouldn’t have if it was beneath your desired level (whatever that is) - it’s much bigger than Millersville but Niche gives them both the same overall grade - and that’s how I thought of them before I looked.
I feel for you, OP! I’m an identical twin and by the time we were going to college (a million years ago), one of my bedrock requirements was that I not go to the same school as her. I really wanted that chance to be me rather than one of a set. I have never regretted drawing that line.
In theory, you could possibly get that if you both attend the same school – make sure you live in different dorms, pursue different clubs/activities, maintain separate friend groups. But there’s no getting around that there will still be people who cannot see you as anything but one of a set, to be confused with and compared to your twin.
I can’t tell you which school to choose (because I loved the school my twin wasn’t going to), but I can tell you going to separate schools was good for both of us.
I could have written almost the same response! One of my main criteria was not the same school as my identical twin. Luckily, she wanted a big state school and I wanted a small private, so it wasn’t an issue.
I’m not sure people who aren’t identical twins can really understand the desire to develop your own identity in a place where people only know you’re a twin if you tell them.
On the other hand, I always have a good ‘interesting’ fact to share for those icebreakers!
Yeah I agree they are pretty similar schools. I started looking at ratemyprofessor reviews of the school which deterred me from Millersville because of everyone trashing it HAHA but when I toured it seemed alright !
Hiii I’m glad someone understands because people in my life really act like I’m crazy for being adamant I don’t want to go the same college. It’s tough because I understand I’m kind of letting being a twin define me by letting her choice influence mine and it’s inherently a bit irrational but I can’t help how I feel about it hahaha
This is what I’m wondering also. You haven’t really discussed differences in academic fit, among the three schools. Temple has a lot of academic options that Millersville wouldn’t have, but depending on your interests, that may or may not matter.
Every year around this time there is a list of perfectly good colleges that didn’t fill all of their freshman spots (perhaps they didn’t anticipate yield accurately), for example, and it’s still possible to nab one of those spots, often with financial aid. Somebody here would have a link to that list @Lindagaf? @MYOS1634 ? if you might be interested in looking at the options this late in the game
I don’t know what to do!!!
but when I toured it seemed alright !