My son was a fabulous student through his first year of college. Then he says he started to get “burnt out”. He had a serious accident at the beginning of junior year and long story short he failed all his classes and got a 1-year suspension. Assuming the best and that he gets back to where he was, can he come back from this? He’s at a very good college, in a very good program. His standardized test scores were almost perfect. I don’t even know what his GPA is now but he’s had good work experience too. If he aces for example the GMAT, would graduate schools cut him some slack?
If he says he’s burnt out, I wouldn’t be thinking of grad school at this point. He’s suspended for a year, so let him take that year off to get his act together. Hopefully a job where he sees the value of a college degree will be a good learning experience for him. That said, not everyone is meant to go to or finish college. There are many successful people who never finished.
A serious accident? Was there a head injury? Was he tested for a concussion?
Also top MBA schools usually require a minimum of 2 years post bac work experience. Internships do not count.
Graduate business school is where you go after you have been out for a few years and working, so having good work record and good GMAT scores would help offset somewhat a somewhat lower GPA. Many grad schools require a min undergrad GPA of 3.0 for consideration.
Make sure he talks to the school about his GPA. If he retakes the same course does that in any way negate the fsiling grade? He’s not the first kid to get academic suspension, so there’s a protocol in place.
If the accident can be linked to his failure, i.e., missing so much time he never got caught up, a medical suspension could be advantageous.
In any case, all is not lost. My S was on academic suspension and when he went back he still didn’t get his act together. He became highly succesful in the IT field.
OP, while there are no guarantees about how the grad schools your son may apply to will react, I would tell my child to not lose hope. If your son’s grades were fine in his sophomore year and only dropped dramatically after his accident before improving again following a full recovery, then a letter of explanation with his applications may help, especially if he can direct the letters to specific individuals.
Our family’s experience was with employers and not grad schools, but it may offer you some hope. One of our kids had a very serious medical problem that was not diagnosed by the first specialist whose error caused an even worse medical crisis. Senior year grades were bad, and as a result the overall GPA fell below the minimum required by the top firms in our child’s chosen field. The typical screening process kicked out any applications that did not meet all minimum requirements; there were so many applicants that the employers could afford to be very choosy. Personal letters sent to specific individuals got enough positive response that eventually a job offer was tendered by one of the top 4 companies. It wasn’t our child’s dream job, but it was a great first step and led to a terrific job within a few years.
For now, I suggest focusing on your son’s health - physical and mental - and don’t worry too much about whether the path he takes is exactly what you, or he, has envisioned. Maybe time for introspection will help your son determine why he felt burned out and what may work better for him.
Good luck!
His school is not being helpful. Because he’s an “adult” I’m not allowed to advocate for him or even call them and ask them what their procedures are. It was serious but not a head injury. He wouldn’t apply for a medical leave which he should have and just stopped showing up for some of his classes and he also didn’t drop them. I tried to tell the school that he was overwhelmed and not doing what he should have been doing but they wouldn’t let me intervene. And the school doesn’t let change your grade if you take the class over. Of course we want him to get better but we also worry that this shouldn’t permanently change his life for the worse. Yes, I’m also worried that he won’t be able to get a job after college.
The first thing for you to do is realize that his life is not going to take the trajectory you had envisioned. So get rid of that vision and those expectations, and start looking at what is possible for him now, and what role you can or should play. Of course his school won’t deal with you. He is an adult, and needs to set his own course and fight his own battles. Maybe he never returns to college. Maybe he returns some day, gets a professional degree, and becomes a raging financial success. Maybe he marries a medical student and puts her through school. Who knows? Let him figure it out.
What about a retroactive medical withdrawal?
No retroactive medical withdrawal. He actually missed the deadline for a medical withdrawal before the end of the semester and they wouldn’t even consider it.
Any time someone’s looking at GPAs, higher is better than lower. If they were good before and after the crisis, he should still have job and grad school options. B-school is better than law or med school as far as GPA flexibility.
But don’t worry about this now. His grades are what they are. Help him fix the problem that caused the failure.
Just saying, there are some evening MBA programs that offer amazing education and career options as well as networking opportunities. the world does not revolve around Harvard etc. B-school degrees.
This sort of thing can certainly come as a shock to parents who are used to having their children do well without intervention. It is upsetting to our children as well, who can feel as if the rug has been pulled out from underneath them. Many feel shamed since the prevailing meme is that parents of successful students do not interfere or advocate for their children.
As for first steps -
I think you should start by getting your S to share his transcript and any communication he has gotten from the college , in the interest of figuring out what he needs to do next. Try not to be judgmental, since your goal is to help him dig out of this hole.
Find out if there are any waivers he can sign in order to allow you to communicate with school officials such as deans.
Find out what he needs to do to get re-instated, and help him make inquiries if he needs to find classes or a job. Usually a school will require a student on academic suspension to take classes elsewhere or hold down a full-time job prior to applying for re-instatement. Be aware of any deadlines he must meet for communication with the school.
If he is depressed (not unlikely) at his predicament, help him find therapy. I would also suggest testing for LD’s and executive function disorder. Even if he is not on medical leave, he can register with the disabilities office upon his return if he has been treated for depression or an executive function disorder, and gets medical documentation.
He might need help letting go of some very attractive options that would have been open to him had everything gone smoothly in college, without giving up all incentive to keep striving for a satisfying future.
As he gets closer to returning to his school, you can help him organize the return and figure out the types of conditions he will have to meet in order to return to good standing and graduate (these would be school specific), and any supports that will be helpful.
The first thing that comes to my mind is that if he needs to re-take a failed class, he might be best off doing this in a summer session if not during his time off, since a re-taken class will not count towards the 12 credits his school will likely require him to carry in order to maintain required full-time status.
If he doesn’t return to his original school, you could help him find another path.
Frazzled - all good suggestions but son doesn’t tell us anything. He won’t show us his transcripts or the letter the school sent him to help him get back into school. They suspended him at the last minute in January and then told him just about a week ago that they turned down his request to come back after one semester. So that doesn’t leave any options to go to another school. He’s also maxed out on the credits his school will accept from another school (he came in with 30 AP credits) and he only needs higher level classes in his major and 2 other classes that also can’t be taken at another school. He was working in another state all summer. I’m hoping when he comes home he’ll be a little more forthcoming and maybe realize we might be helpful in getting him back in school. He had a good job over the summer. I would have thought that would have gotten him back in school but I guess not.
OP -
I am sorry to hear that your S will not share information with you. That indeed makes it very hard for you to help him, or even understand the hurdles he is facing, both with getting back to school and with setting up a realistic schedule once he has returned. In the meantime, graduation requirements, criteria for being placed on academic probation or suspension and procedures for returning to good standing are very school specific but even if you have memorized the school’s handbook it can be hard to help if you don’t know the specifics of your S’s situation, and do not have his permission to contact deans.
If this is a one year suspension, it does seem unlikely that they would have let him back after one semester, though.
Will he need your help in finding a job when he comes home? If he cannot find a paying job, can he schedule full-time volunteer work? I am guessing that one option he has to show he is ready to return to school is to verify that he has worked at a full-time job (any job) for a year.
Some schools will consider it a sign of maturity if a student has taken a full course load at another school as a non-matriculated student, even if the credits will not transfer or are in excess of those needed for graduation. That is why I tossed out this possibility. The caveat is that it can be difficult to find a school that will admit a student who is not in good standing at their last school even for part-time course work, and a community college is not appropriate for some students.
Hopefully, once your S gets back home you will get more of his side of the story and you can help him figure out strategies for returning to school, graduating, and finding options where a low GPA will not be a deal breaker. Or, for finding another path if necessary.
I think it will be very helpful later on that he has already gotten good work experience, and hopefully he is beginning to regain some confidence even if his school wants to see more before allowing him to enroll again.
“son doesn’t tell us anything. He won’t show us his transcripts or the letter the school sent him to help him get back into school.”
Yeah, that doesn’t work for me if you’re paying anything toward this college. Sharing the info has to be a condition of continued funding, or else you’re signing up to throw money away.
I think the school is right not to allow you to fix your son’s problems. They are his problems and he should fix them (in the absence of illness that makes that impossible). If he is not mentally ill and does not have a brain injury that would prevent him from fixing the problem then it is inappropriate for you to be the one doing all the work.
That does not mean you have no leverage. If you are the one paying for college you can refuse to pay if he does not share information with you. No threats. No yelling. Just a simple statement that while you recognize he is an adult you will not be paying for something that is set up to be a waste of money. He will come to his senses.
Good luck.
We don’t know enough about the injury to really know whether it is relevant. Assuming it is.
The school cannot let you be involved if your son hasn’t signed a release. In my experience, with a release, they often will deal with parents and are sometimes even grateful for info provided, if it is done right.
If your son has any medical documentation or professionals who can provide it, that would show the grade decline is from the injury, I think you could try for a medical withdrawal after the fact (with no W’s)… There are others who have come on this forum who have managed that, but it does seem to depend on the school.
It is always better if the school knows about problems before hand, not afterward. Your son might have been able to apply for accommodations through the disabilities office, or at the very least a dean or advisor could have been made aware. Sometimes they do welcome a nudge toward this kind of information from a parent, and it is legal one way, meaning you can tell them but they cannot tell you.
If the injury is relevant and your son does not want to advocate for a withdrawal, then in the future maybe he has learned something that will help keep him on track, and he can always write a note explaining what happened, especially if his grades are good in the future.
Again, don’t have enough info, but kids do amazing turnarounds and things tend to work out, they really do/
I know several people with sub 3.0 college GPA’s who were admitted to top 10 MBA programs. They all returned to school and took a few classes with good marks (all A’s) , had excellent work experience, and very high GMAT scores (730+). Business schools will look at the entirety of person’s application and the further away college is, the less important those grades are to the application.
On the issue of college employees not talking with parents because the college student is an adult: They won’t tell you this not make it easy but there IS paperwork that can be signed, by the college student, that waives that privacy right. I have a child who had troubles his first year of college and this privacy thing was a real problem. If there are medical concerns, the student can waive privacy at student health. With academic concerns, the student can waive privacy with the registrar which should cover all communications with faculty, etc. But only if the student himself is willing to waive it.