I guess I’m just not into conspicuous consumption by kids who haven’t earned the money themselves.
And that doesn’t have anything to do with what I or my kid can afford to spend.
Pottery Barn and similar places sell “looks” for teenage rooms and dorm rooms. What’s the essential difference? None as far as I can see.
If you go to school at one of those SEC schools, you have to be prepared for a different aesthetic than what you see up north. That’s part of the experience.
I have no problem with the girls doing this . . . my niece’s first dorm room was adorable. You could tell that she and her roommate (from home) put thought into it and it was very cool.
That being said, when I was 18 this type of thing was a small part of what I disliked about the south (born and raised). As a quirky, book-ish kid I always felt that I somehow did not live up to stuff like this. Not cute enough, not creative enough, not part of the “in” world of southern life. So I ended up going way OOS, which was fine.
Back then I wish I had known that you didn’t have to live up to this sort of standard. Thank heavens we didn’t have instagram. Gosh. This stuff tends to reinvorce preconceived notions that people already have about southern schools, but that doesn’t mean it should change per se.
Just my thoughts . . .
“I guess I’m just not into conspicuous consumption by kids who haven’t earned the money themselves.
And that doesn’t have anything to do with what I or my kid can afford to spend.”
I guess my feeling is that it’s their own room – so it’s not really conspicuous, as no one goes into their room who hasn’t been invited.
It would never have happened (these oh so cute dorm rooms) unless both were “into it.” I do think it’s much to-do about nothing.
If there’s an unspoken competition among kids for the hottest handbag or the most Hermes bracelets, then, yes. It doesn’t mean those kids aren’t allowed to participate. I just can’t ever envision mine being a part of it.
I think sometimes people project “unspoken competitions” where there really are none. Look, I’ve just retired and I’m spending a lot of time in the town one suburb over, where the women my age are hot. No, really. Abs of steel. Great arms. Lots of pilates and yoga. No one over a size 4. They look gorgeous. And it’s really easy for me to project my insecurities onto them and think that they must think I’m the heifer because I’m sturdier and no one would mistake me for a ballerina. But guess what? When I get to know them, they are people and like any collection of people, some are nice and some are jerks, some are smart and some are stupid, some are intellectual and some are superficial. And we are not in any “competition” for anything except in my own head.
I think the same is likely true of these young ladies and I’m a little bothered by the assumption that because they spent time and effort on this personal hobby, they must all be vapid and shallow just waiting for their MRS degrees. What is the essential difference between spending time on this hobby, and any other personal hobby? What if they were all into the latest indie bands and spent their time playing music, putting up posters, and going to concerts? That’s equally a hobby, but I wonder why that has the stereotype of being “intellectual” and this hobby doesn’t.
I note with interest and want to throw out there for discussion that it also seems like interior design is being put down. So why is it that being a mechanical engineer (who ensures the building is built properly) is ok … being an architect (who ensures the building looks attractive from the outside and is pleasing on the inside) is ok … but being an interior designer (who ensures the building is attractive in the inside) somehow is “less than”? It makes me wonder about the respect we accord to fields that are traditionally women-dominated.
I’m also paging @alh just because I can 
Projection definitely gets going in stuff like this.
On the other hand, if you grow up in the south you quickly ‘get’ how important this stuff can be in certain circles.
@SouthFloridaMom9 , post 63 resonated with me. I also left the South but I came back. I’m still not into that kind of thing and frankly I’m really bad at it. Can’t even manage to do things like hang stuff on the walls.
I’m mature enough now to realize that it really doesn’t matter and that very few people with beautifully decorated houses care at all what anyone else’s houses look like. Yeah, I’m sometimes an oddball but really most people are in one way or another.
Just like showing bohemian or street ‘cred’ is important in other circles.
I mean, look at the Slate writer we were discussing upthread. It’s clearly important in her circles to Reject Those Bourgeois Notions of keeping a room to normal standards of hygiene. Épater la bourgeoisie, if you will.
It’s as “status-y” in her circles to rejoice in your macaroni-encrusted plates and disgusting floors as it is “status-y” in the Ole Miss circles to have matching headboards and throw pillows.
Thanks @1or2Musicians! Totally get it.
Although freshman roommates decorating together is not common at either of the schools that my older 2 went / go to, I think it looks cute, homey, and welcoming. If this is the sort of thing that you’re into and you have a roommate that is on board, what’s the problem? As long as its not being forced onto an unsuspecting roomie, good for them for creating a space that they can be comfortable in. I’m sure we spent just as much purchasing bedding, dresser, organizers, lamps, etc for each of my kids’ sides of the room, so I’m not sure I see the issue with roommates deciding to purchase matching items. It was fun to see what my engineering major D and her friends could produce for their apartments with very minimal $, some time on pinterest, and a trip to the local craft store. As an aside, I love the idea of the long bed skirts - like many college students, mine liked to loft their beds and use the room underneath for storage. The bed skirts do a great job hiding the clutter.
I agree the crusty mac and cheese thing is gross.
To be clear, my discomfort is not with these two particular girls but with the concept of competitive dorm decorating.
Actually, I’d love to see a dorm decorating competition-with a low budget cap. I think it could result in some interesting ideas. For instance, I love the llama and ostrich prints. The “Her mom sent me swatches, we paid a lot of money to have custom pillows made and my parents spent 7 hours setting up my room” version- not my cup of tea, but then I seem to be in the minority here.
^^the moms are often highly involved . . . after all these are legacy girls. 
I missed the part where it specified that these girls were legacies; are they legacies for Ole Miss or a particular sorority? Can you show me where it says that? How horrible that these girls often involve their mothers. What’s wrong with them?
“The “Her mom sent me swatches, we paid a lot of money to have custom pillows made and my parents spent 7 hours setting up my room” version- not my cup of tea, but then I seem to be in the minority here.”
It’s not my personal cup of tea. And when I was in college, my mother was working as an interior decorator and taking classes to that end! I personally didn’t have anything beyond the typical BBB-type bedding and a poster or two, and neither did my kids.
But I think it’s important not to make a moral issue out of what is a personal style choice.
Welcome to 4 years ago. I was looking at dorm decor pinterest boards in 2012.
Sorry was being tongue-in-cheek about legacies. That’s not in the article. But I would love to know if they are.
In certain southern circles it is very important to join the right sorority and date the right fraternity guys. This is driven by mamas-in-the-know who did the same things themselves (or wanted to). The prep for this starts way before college.
ETA: I only have boys, and am highly involved with them so I’m not poking fun at that. But if I had a daughter I would have some trepidation about the big southern schools with heavy greek life - especially if she was like I was. Now my niece handles it well but she’s also girly-girl, cheerleader in high school, etc. It’s funny because my sister was not in a sorority in college and I was (just not in the south).
sorry - still writing and computer posted ahead of me
Oh my goodness, I just clicked through one of the article links to a blog with all kinds of these rooms. You have to admit that are all super cute. Not my taste and wasn’t my taste at 18 but still super cute. I really don’t have an issue with it. I’m sure there are plenty of women on these campus who roll there eyeballs, but so what?