<p>so my roommates are soo awesome and have many friends, and im close to one of them, but im kinda nervous to go and explore the place floor, i sit on the bed all the time pretending to do something…ive been introduced to everyone already, its just every time i want to visit the neighbors i hear guys and girls laughing and screaming, and im automatically aborting the place and going back to my room…im scarred it will be akward…</p>
<p>If you’re in your room, make sure to leave the door open!!! A closed door tells people to stay away and an open door is an invitation.</p>
<p>You said you are close to one roommate. Can you ask them if you can go to the dining hall with them? Or invite them to a campus activity?</p>
<p>Is there a lobby you can sit in and read? When people come by, look up and say hello. Even if no major conversations get started, at least you will start recognizing faces. Another place to meet people is the laundry room, waiting for clothes to dry.</p>
<p>we have a quad, and our room is always open, but the thing is that unless im drunk im very quiet, my roommates already introduced me to ppl, and the floor been talking about 2 girls on the floor like me.which makes it even more weird to go to their dorm.but im russian and i have russian accent, which is stopping me from talking in public…before yesterday when i was drunk, i was going all crazy and very social, but when they all sit in a group I’m very quiet…</p>
<p>bobhabaniai -</p>
<p>Stop drinking. Don’t rely on being drunk to be sociable. Be patient with yourself. It really is OK to just sit and listen and participate in the conversation when you can. Some of your classmates will think that your accent is really cool. I mean, how many Russians are there at your school anyway?</p>
<p>The more English you listen to, and the more English you speak, the sooner your accent will improve. Listening and speaking, and deliberately working on improving your pronunciation is the only way to do that. If you have time, and a quiet place to work on it on your own, order a copy of American Accent Training by Ann Cook. You can get it from Amazon. Some of the exercises may seem silly, but this material has worked very well for my adult ESL students. I haven’t found another set of material that is nearly as good.</p>
<p>It is normal for people who are still mastering a language to be pretty quiet when in a group. That is because your brain is trying to understand everything that is going on, and trying to formulate appropriate responses. This is not easy at all. You probably need more sleep than your roommates do because your brain needs rest to grow all of the new neurons and to assimilate all of the new information. </p>
<p>Hang in there. If you find that you are truly struggling, pop by the International Student Office, and chat with them. They have experience with helping students manage the cultural and language adjustments at college, and they will have good ideas for you.</p>
<p>Wishing you all the best!</p>
<p>You sound a bit like my daughter. Being quiet is okay, just be in the group. Your accent is often an asset; people like to hear it and try to imitate it, for fun, not for embarrassing you. The more time you spend with the group the more relaxed you will become and the more at ease you will feel to join in on the fun without drinking. If you’re not there you can’t join in. Just go and sit, it will work out.</p>
<p>"bobhabaniai -</p>
<p>Stop drinking. Don’t rely on being drunk to be sociable." - Happymom</p>
<p>Listen to Happymomof1.</p>
<p>im not an esl student, never been, my english written english is perfectly fine, but i do loose confidence when im participating in a group talk…i never had this problem…u see i was born in israel, and my parents always spoke to me in russian, untill age 7 i didnt eve know hebrew, when i went to a hebrew school, i know how to nevigate between hebrew and russian, but once it comes to talk in english my russian accent pops out…so far i hardly have anyone to call a friend…from a 6"1’ feet confident guy i went to feel like a loser…i know u might say “well u new, and its ur 4th day there”…but im not used to be putten down that much, i feel like im going depressed</p>
<p>by the way thank you for you attention i really appriciate it</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>This is good advice. Is there an international student office? It may help you to be around other international students so you can support each other.</p>
<p>Please don’t get drunk. It’s not good for you, and you can develop a bad reputation pretty quickly. </p>
<p>A therapist appointment at the health center may be helpful, as any therapist associated with the university will know the resources better than we do.</p>
<p>Americans like Russian accents!</p>
<p>Relax, Calla1 is right, Americans DO like Russian accents. My co-worker was from St Petersburg and she was very nervous around strangers and clammed up, but she was fine with her coworkers. Even though she had a heavy accent, we all listened carefully because hearing about someone from a different country is so interesting. Also learn to ask questions and let someone else do the talking. People usually love to talk about themselves. Don’t use alcohol to loosen up. There are very very few charming drunks in this world.</p>
<p>thnak you soo much</p>
<p>Americans like accents. Americans (generally) like Russians. </p>
<p>But a drunk Russian is a cliche. </p>
<p>Stop drinking, get out there, be honest about being shy around Americans. (Girls like shy guys 
) And give yourself time - even other Americans have troubles adjusting socially to college. Eventually, things will get better.</p>
<p>Why is everyone telling the guy to stop drinking. A little buzz always helped me relax enough to loosen up and not be so self-conscious. I would avoid getting drunk, but a couple of beers or glasses of wine on a weekend isn’t going to hurt the guy if he’s of legal age. </p>
<p>How old are you? </p>
<p>Also, he goes to school in Buffalo. When a relative went there back in the 80s, they used to run a school sponsored bus over the bridge to Fort Erie Ontario where the drinking age was lower. This would keep the students from driving drunk.</p>
<p>I’m going to take the middle ground here - especially since you’re in Buffalo apparently with both my kids. It’s not that I’m taking a stand against drinking - I’m first generation European and my kids were given tastes of what was being served at holiday/party tables from 13 on, and that seems to have destroyed the potential “rush” associated with drinking. So - I don’t think the drinking is the problem in and of itself - the problem is that you rely on drinking, or, more importantly, on being drunk, to socialize. Thinking that you need to actually be drunk in order to make friends and socialize could become an issue. So - I basically agree with classicrockerdad but caution that you need to get rid of that crutch and worry less about your accent (because there I agree with the other Moms). Americans love accents.</p>
<p>Get out of your room, talk to your RA, look into joining a club, ask classmates if they want to form a study group, study in the library, ask someone in your suite to go to lunch this weekend, go to a campus activity (concert or play, etc), join a religious group (Hillel, perhaps, even if you are not religious). There are many ways to meet people. doesn’t sound like you are trying many of them. Plus, you have only been on campus a week or two - give it time. </p>
<p>Don’t post again until you’ve tried some of these things. Otherwise, you just seem like you are whining.</p>
<p>Many Americans find Russian accents charming. Don’t worry about it. 
It can be difficult to be with a group of native speakers when you aren’t, even if you know the language well, but as time passes and you spend more time interacting with native speakers this will improve. Just try to go with your roommates and socialize. It is okay to be the quiet, smiling person in a group. You will find that eventually some people will seek you out to talk to, if you maintain a pleasant, friendly demeanor. </p>
<p>Having a drink is one thing, getting drunk in order to socialize is a bad habit. You may THINK that you are being witty and charming, but it is unlikely. And unfortunately it is all too common for American students to get into BIG trouble when drunk, especially when sex is involved.</p>
<p>Drinking is one thing. Being DRUNK is another. It’s how OP described himself and unless he means ‘buzzed’ and this is just a language thing, that’s a sign of a problem. A social problem, if not (yet) alcoholism.</p>
<p>
I hope you aware:
NYS drinking age is 21 and
See [Current</a> Residents - Guidelines and Regulations, Campus Living Website - University at Buffalo](<a href=“http://www.ub-housing.buffalo.edu/regs.php]Current”>http://www.ub-housing.buffalo.edu/regs.php)</p>