Dos, I like your idea, I could say my son doesn’t wish to share, and he could use me.
The only person I told anything to was my former fIance, the PSAT scores. My good friends were taking us to a basketball game, and they kept talking how thrilled they were with their son’s score on same. The ex couldn’t understand why I absolutely wouldn’t let him divulge. That was the last time I shared any score with him.
The hard part was that both my parents died that year, so I didn’t have my chorus to share my hopes and concerns with.
I think brag is the wrong word. It’s nice to celebrate your child’s achievements with those can share in the good news and won’t see it as bragging. My parents are gone and my husband’s parents are disabled, so that wonderful chorus from grandparents is no longer with us. I agree with @doschicos that friends are more likely to celebrate the good news if you stay honest and share your struggles as well.
@bookworm – same here. Both of my folks are gone (mom in 2000 and dad in 2012). Dad was the best for us bragging on D18. He loved to hear it and was always thinking about the next step. I can only imagine how proud he would be of his GD right now … and how fast his mental wheels would be spinning on the college opportunities she should have next year. The inlaws? Not so much, unfortunately.
For friends and neighbors, we only talk about stuff when asked.
Did you ever notice that scoring a touchdown or signing on to a team is a big thing in the paper, the news, etc.? There is definitely a difference here than with academic achievements. It does not seem right.
“Did you ever notice that scoring a touchdown or signing on to a team is a big thing in the paper, the news, etc.? There is definitely a difference here than with academic achievements. It does not seem right.”
I agree completely.
However, even in sports it is not an endearing feature for people to brag about their own accomplishments. As an example I have never heard Tom Brady call himself “the greatest quarterback”. I have heard other people here in New England say that many times, but when asked Mr Brady talks about how lucky he is to be on a team with great coaches and other great players. It is probably easier for Mr Brady to never bring up his own accomplishments given that other people are going to bring them up for him, probably more often than he wants to hear about it.
One question is why our society seems to have relatively little respect for the very smart. I am inclined to think this is different from whether a particular person should be bragging about their own accomplishments. Modesty IMHO usually comes across best. It can however be a bit of a downer to accomplish something great in the academic area, and have no one mention it to you at all.
I tended to be a bit of a big talker about my kids. But it was a defense mechanism I think. Around my area, and most areas, the athletes get all the attention. My kids either did not excel in atheletics or choose not to even though very qualified and gifted.
My kids were the smart very talented musicians, dancers, actors,newspaper editors,etc. You know, the kids that never got their name in the local paper accept when they print the honor roll list.
So I felt I needed to brag, given how darn smart my kids were. But then treality and life hit.
Some of these not so smart athletes are doing very well, my kids are mixed in their progresssion and I have stopped the talking/bragging about my kids!
We once spent a lot of time with a friend we met from soccer. He would brag a lot about his D. Mind you, he didn’t make stuff up or exaggerate, and she was a sweetheart. His wife was very nice, too. But it really began to wear thin. One night we were at a surprise birthday party for him, and I noticed there was not one old friend among them. We had only known them a few years, but were probably the friends with the longest history with them in attendance. That told me a lot.
We lasted only a year or two longer. He was just too obnoxious.