Downsizing-how small?

Parent Cafe
1

After selling our family home of 25 years earlier than expected, my husband and I moved to an apartment and stored most of our belongings. We thought it would be 3 months at most, but now it might be closer to 6 or 7 months. Besides the fact I only kept out spring and summer clothes, we can manage with what we have. We will not be hosting any dinner parties as I only brought the basic kitchen items and our table is shoved in a corner due to lack of room :slight_smile:

We have found a townhouse complex we like, but having trouble deciding which plan to go with. The goal was to downsize in square footage as well as cost, and to find a place that might last us into our golden years. Price wise, the unit that fits what we had planned to spend is with a drive under garage and is three stories. Today at 60, that is not a problem, but what about 10 years from now; do I really want to walk up a flight of stair with groceries and another flight for bed each night? We had hoped for a master on the main, but we have not seen one townhome complex that has that. Because we have two dogs, we do not want a condominium as we want a small area to let the dogs out without having to lease walk them all the time. Of course, this does not have to be a forever home; if one of us can no longer handle the stairs, we can always move again.

The other concern we have is both of our married children live out of town; one lives out of the country. There will be times both kids are in town at the same time, so we are looking at 3 bedrooms which is not a problem. What I wonder about is when the children has kids, which will be soonish for one, where can I put the grandchildren? Of course if everyone was in town at the same time, one family could go to a hotel, but I would want them here, and they would want to be here. I jokes that because the master walk in has a vent, the kids could sleep in there is a pack n play or air mattress depending on their age; it would make me keep the closet clean :wink: I do not want to spend more to have a finished basement with a bedroom that would only be used once a year as the point of downsizing was to downsize. I am sure one of my children would be fine staying at a hotel, especially if I keep the kids for them!! In my heart, I know not to buy more than we need day to day, but we see the children so infrequently, I hate to send them to a hotel or other family members home while in town. Neither have good friends in the city anymore, so family of hotel would be the only option, and I am not sure they would want to stay with the family that would have room for them!

My husband is not the practical one and in his usual fashion is looking at the larger unit; I am trying to tell him we can make it work with the smaller one. We have my mother’s dining room table, which is huge and my husband loves; he will go with the floor plan that allows us to keep that table, although none of the ones I have seen will it really fits. He has actually said, we might bump into it or have to shimmy to get around it, but we can put it in this space!! Yes, I would like to keep the table, but I am not buying a home just to fit the table; happy to buy a new table it needed!

2

You haven’t said what the actual sizes of the choices are. I think I’d insist on a one-floor option.

3

My parents are 78 and 80 and they still live in a house with a basement and two floors. They have no problem getting up and down the stairs.

4

We love our two kids, and hope they will visit us in our golden years…in a one floor dwelling of some kind. We won’t go bigger than 2 bedrooms…one will be the master and the other an office. We have inflatable beds we can set up.

If we want a several story, 3-4 bedroom dwelling with a lot of stairs…we will just stay in our house.

But for the couple of weekends a year when the kids MIGHT be there the same time…we are not buying our next home for that.

So…our criteria…

  1. Single floor living meaning no second floor.
  2. Something SMALLER and with no stairs. Next place will hopefully be our last move!
  3. Small yard with minimal maintenance.
  4. We would like to live someplace and have only one car...and be able to walk to some things!

My inlaws did what your husband is thinking…“downsized” from a three level house to a three level condo. WAYYYY too much space…and even with that…we stayed in a hotel,when we visited. They sold that multi story condo and moved into a single floor dwelling…which is what they should,have done first!

5

When my parents downsized to their current home which has 3 bedrooms our children slept on an air mattress on the floor of the room we were in and my brother’s children did the same. Kids can do this for quite a while when they are young so I would not base buying a new place on visits a few times a year.

Our townhome is three levels like the one you describe above. H and I feel we can probably easily stay here through our 70’s barring any major illnesses or loss of mobility for either of us. When that does happen we will look at getting a ground level home or condo.

6

I would consider very carefully moving somewhere that requires you to use stairs a lot. We sold our family home about four years ago and bought a really nice house that has a view to a golf course and water feature (man made flowing creek and ponds). The master bedroom is upstairs to take advantage of the view. Because the homes in this part of our neighborhood were marketed towards empty nesters, most of them have elevators so that the residents won’t be forced to move as they age.

I bike several times a week and don’t consider myself to be out of shape, but going up and down those stairs is getting really old. I could take the elevator (and did after my recent knee surgery, for a couple of months), but it is really slow. I could walk upstairs and back down again in the time it takes the elevator to make it upstairs. Additionally, I don’t want to become dependent on it. Anyway, I never realized how many times a day I go into my bedroom until I had to take stairs to get to it! Having to carry groceries upstairs every time would probably be a deal breaker for me. YMMV.

We are seriously considering selling and buying a home with the master bedroom downstairs (like all of our previous homes). If my other knee goes bad, we definitely will.

7

@“Youdon’tsay” This will be a true downsize; we were in a 5 bedroom, 3.5 bath with 4200 square feet and an unfinish basement; huge yard front and back. We are now looking at 3 bedroom, 2.5 bath with 2000-2400 square feet townhomes with a very small patio and a strip of grass in the back! The HOA takes care of all outside maintenance, structural and yard; of course we pay an HOA fee, but we do not have to deal with it or the insurance.

8

DS and I are in our 50s and knee problems make stairs an issue. As far as how to sleep everyone, if you have two guest room, put a sleeper sofa in the living room, add inflatable mattresses or sleeping bags for the children, you should be fine. Full/queen mattresses sleep several children and make it a sleepover party. The pack n play is a great idea. I have also seen a Castro Convertable sleeper ottoman that opens to a twin.

9

Your downsize is bigger than my current size so it all sounds good to me! I can’t imagine a table so big that it wouldn’t fit in 2,400 square feet!

I still vote one floor. :slight_smile:

10

An alternative to the big house for when family comes for a visit is what my Mom did. When she moved to a smaller townhouse she just rented a place for the week when we came to visit. Of course, she was in a resort area so renting by the beach made a nice vacation for everyone and she could escape all the kids at night. We turned it into a family reunion time and my brothers came, too. Renting for a week , even in a resort during prime time, was cheaper than keeping a big house all year. The rest of the time she came to visit us.

11

It seems like master on the main is the smart choice for aging in place, and yet, I live in a three story home and my live in parent, at 90+, gets a ton of exercise from those steps. In the last year she has curtailed walks outdoors, I think she is just that much more unsteady and concerned about falling, but goes up and down 22 steps 1-4 times per hour all day long. It’s really quite healthy, but I am not sure it would be a good situation if living alone.

About the kids visiting, do what my parents did, let all the kids and grandkids stay at your place, you and DH go to the hotel (this is when you are even older); you get some quiet at the end of the busy days and your adult kids get bonding time. It was quite lovely when my parents did that a time or two

12

I agree that rather than buying and having to maintain a bigger home than you need, I’d buy an all one floor home that is a good size for the two of you and rent something for all of you or the two of you when your kids and grandkids come to visit. It would be better from a cleaning and maintenance perspective and fun for everyone to have a venue where everyone could be comfortable. Airbnb or vrbo or similar or a nice big hotel suite might be just the ticket.

13

My in-laws have a small two story with bathrooms only on the second floor and in the basement. They can barely handle those stairs. Watching them struggle, we will only do a one floor home when we move. They are mid 80s and active, but when your knees start to give out, you are stuck.

14

Absolutely no stairs. I was fine until three weeks ago when I tore my meniscus. You never know what might happen and when. When we downsized and moved to the SW 18 years ago, we bought a single-story home (most common type of housing here), and when we downsized again two years ago, we bought another single-story with a large casita for DS and, hopefully, family some day. The house also has a guest suite so we can enjoy overnight guests even when DS is home.

We meant to downsize to about 2100 sq. feet, but this house had everything we wanted, was completely furnished (had been a model/stay-n-play)), and was within our price range so we ended up around 2900 sq. feet. Because the guest suite and casita are mostly empty, it’s easy for the two of us to maintain.

15

Balance is also a problem as we age.

Having 3 parents in their 80’s, I see how going up and down stairs gets harder. Taking groceries up the stairs would be difficult. Where is the laundry?

We have 2400 sq ft, first floor master and laundry. 2 bedrooms on the second. And a basement. I think it will age well for us. It’s a single family home so maintenance will not be perfect.

I wouldn’t worry about where to put kids/grandkids. That’s what we thought when we bought this house. It may be used once a year.

16

I like the idea of a rental when they come to visit, although not sure how available that would be in our area. The kids at the house, and us at a hotel would be an interesting option if all were here at the same time; not something I had even thought of.

Today, a condo is not what we are wanting, although one story living would be great. In the apartment right now, taking the dogs out is not easy; doable, but not what I want to do for the rest of my life. My guess is we will always have a dog even after the two we current have are gone; I want to be able to have a quick potty space when we can’t go on a walk. I am thinking we will end up with the two story townhouse instead of the three story. Even if we were limited in mobility, coming down once for the day is not bad. Plus, if we really can not handle the bit of stairs there are, we can move again. This does not have to be our forever home; I would rather enjoy the community now, and worry about later, later. Maybe a bit short sighted, but we are not able at this time to find a smaller unit in an area that works for us now; what is we are active into our 80’s and I have moved to a home we didn’t love? You never know what tomorrow might bring, so enjoy today.

We are still looking, so something even greater might turn up!

17

I agree with the no stairs. My parents moved into a one story town home with a finished basement. Shortly after moving in, my dad was diagnosed with heart problems and forbidden to use stairs. Luckily, he didn’t need to access that lower level as all the living could be done on the main floor. He was only mid-60’s.

My mother-in-law at 80 was in her tri-level home living alone until she tripped on a set of stairs while carrying groceries into the house. She broke her wrist and banged herself up and didn’t heal well. My sis-inlaw moved her into an independent living situation - too many concerns with mobility and the home she was in.

18

When my in-laws lived in a 3 bedroom condo, their grandchildren slept in the room with mom & dad (that’s why the invented portable cribs!) once the kids got old enough, they would all sleep in the small family room off the kitchen. A slumber party with their cousins, something they LOVED.

19

My preference is also for one-story living, or, at least, the master on the main floor. I used to think I’d want 3 BRs, but I’d be willing to live in a 2BR and make accommodations when the kids/grandkids visit. Air mattresses would work for young kids, or, as someone else said, DH and I could stay at a hotel while our guests occupy our place.

20

When we downsized, we still got four bedrooms. Not because we wanted to, but because the house (yes, we stayed in a house) we liked came with them. It’s going to be handy this summer and when S1 gets married this fall. No regrets.

I was about to say what @katliamom in Post #17 said – slumber party!!