Downsizing-how small?

Parent Cafe
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Coralbrook- since when does your D control your life? Who is the parent? Unless she wants to move in and take over all expenses (including a reasonable rent) it is not her decision.

YOU deserve to make changes in your life style without regard to hers. You already spent many adult years taking care of her. That age and stage in life is over. She not only needs to see the costs involved in maintaining that house but she needs to spend a week cleaning and doing all of the other chores involved. I doubt she wants to live in that house if she has to pay for everything and keep it clean.

I know someone who gets together with upwards of 30 people for Thanksgiving in her home town. Everyone contributes and they use local family kitchens to prepare stuff and then pay for a facility. A good time because of the people, not the place.

Also- when you do sell and move you do NOT attempt to have storage for any child’s stuff. No more than one or two containers you/she can lift. If the stuff is not important enough for her to keep with her it is not worth having. I have seen parental houses with kid’s bedrooms as they left them. One parent even told me her late 30’s year old son told her long ago she could get rid of trophies et al- she will need to later this year. She has offered furniture to both kids and they (and spouses) expressed a preference for getting their own choices.

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Ha! We have been storing kid stuff for nearly 20 years, between all the various undergrad, grad school study abroad, etc. moves. We’ve had a rotating shelf of "apartment stuff’ that kids took from as needed. One last kid is going through the pile this weekend and I am dumping the remainder. One kid has just some stuff she’ll want for her eventual kids here, and one kid is still living a student lifestyle, but I anticipate being able to finally empty that stuff in about two years. It feels good to use those basement shelves for mine & DH’s stuff that we cannot quite get rid of. Our current house is half the size of our previous and I am still slowly purging things I could not decide about when we moved. It was unplanned so I was unprepared to decide about every single thing.

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Two biggest issue with how small. Storage and being on top of each other or, even with just one person, being in a confined space.

Depends on your need to keep stuff you never use or ability to realize your lifestyle has changed and you never will use stuff. Our next downsizing will find me parting with a lot of cooking/baking stuff because we no longer need to use it. Our next downsize will need public spaces we can away from each other if we no longer can do so in our privately occupied one.

Imagine if every generation saved everything. Ouch.

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My aging parrents are downsizing and I think my mother is in for a surprise that her treasures she has deigned to seell probably aren’t worth much.

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Interesting thread, thanks!

My oldest D and I just got back from a two week camping trip (tent). It’s been awhile since I’ve camped, and I was newly amazed at how content I felt with so little.

We live in a 1800 sq ft house — 3 bedrooms, 1 full bath, 2 half baths, that will soon be 100 years old. Our area was hit very hard by the housing market crash in 2008, and will likely be one of the last suburbs to bounce back. We are STILL underwater, which is hard to believe. The real estate agent pulled up comparables about six months ago, and the results were depressing. So many homes were last sold as short sales or foreclosures.

We’ve stopped major renovations or updates. The house is 3/4 “modernized” and updated. We cannot justify sinking any more big money into it.

At one time, before the crash, we thought we’d easily sell the house as we approached 60-62 years old and have $100-150K to put towards a new smaller place plus savings. That’s not happening now.

The good thing, I guess, is that rental prices have soared. We are living in a larger space, with a yard, for what many are paying for a one- two bedroom apartment in nicer suburbs. But, it’s irritating to maintain the yard, and live in an old home that still needs work and curtains, etc. I just don’t want to spend the money!

Our marriage is on shaky ground, and I’m not sure I WANT to downsize and continue to live with this man. I picture myself living in a small space, by myself. Yet, living alone has its own risks, like stairs!

I’m just rambling now. Thinking about how to keep working, when and how to retire, and how to leverage myself into a new living space and possibly new life.

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I can relate, @Midwest67. I am divorced and got the house as part of the property division. Three bedrooms, one full bathroom that’s usable, one full bathroom that is barely usable because of water damage to the ceiling and general grossness in the shower that my ex let go to pot. I live mainly in the living room (that’s appropriate, right?). But really, I’d do fine in a place the size of this living room, the one bathroom, and the kitchen. Unfortunately, there’s lots of “deferred maintenance,” as the family lawyer kindly put it, to be done on the house, and right now, I can’t afford that. So I have much to think about.

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Another divorced one here. I chose to take very little with me 2 years ago. Other than my clothes, it’s all in a small storage unit. I"m fortunate that I live very comfortably with family. What I do have is about 1/3 Christmas ( have a good sized snow village I have collected for 25+ years), 1/3 is the kids stuff/books which I’ll give to them once they settle and 1/3 is my kitchen/dishes. I never think about the stuff I left. Once my D graduates next year, I’ll move into my own space and I have no idea what that will feel like.

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@rosered55

Love the term “deferred maintenance”, by the way.

In your area, would you be able to rent your home, if you caught up on the unfinished projects?

We’d have improved cash flow if we could only refinance. Our property taxes are very low.

Yes, so much to think about!

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OP here; now that we have signed the contract on the new townhome, I am starting to worry about where everything will go! While we have room for our things in the temporary apartment, most of our belongings are in storage, so I am having trouble visualizing where things will go.

We got rid of most everything that was not necessary when we moved out of the house. What I do have, that might be an issue is kitchen items as the new kitchen is an open concept and there is very little cabinet storage. I think I was so enamored with the open space that I overlooked the lack of cabinets! With both my family and my husbands family in town, we tend to have family dinners that run into the 20+ people. Of course I don’t need to keep every Pyrex and second set of dishes in the kitchen, but I want to be able to get to them with ease; heading to the bedroom closet, while doable, isn’t my choice. Hopefully my husbands shelving will work for his things in the garage, so I think my only problem area is kitchen items. I do not think there will be room for a storage piece of furniture in the living area, so I am looking for creative ideas for storage. We will have an attic, but I am not storing kitchenware there, but might use the guest bedroom closet.

There was an option for a large pantry by the stairs, but it took away from the openness that we both liked so didn’t add it; now I understand why it was an option! I might be able to put my dining room credenza in that space which would help out, but we think it is too long. Because it is in storage, we can not measure it. If it won’t fit there, it should fit in the living area under the wall mounted tv. While it won’t hold pots and pans, I should be able to fit Pyrex, cookie sheets, and extra plates and glasses; at least that is my hope!

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Snowball, can you add in the pantry now?

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I have several storage tubs in my basement that I bring up only when I have a large family event. It’s easier than I thought it would be. Would something like that work for you?

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@coralbrook sounds like a big lot to me! Most lots around here are 5000 to 10,000 square feet. Do they ever grant variances?

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snowball, since there is an option for a large pantry have you considered not doing that but then having
a carpenter build a pantry there but a flat narrow one that would, for example, be the depth of what you
want to put there. If it is extra dishes, then that depth. Shelves for glasses are not deep.

In our first house we took a closet and opened it up into the kitchen and made a pantry. A lot of the
shelves where only the depth of a can of beans. Others as deep as a box of cereal. Worked great.
This way you might be able to have your pantry but not obstruct the open design.

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When we downsized I spent a ton of time on pinterist looking for small space storage and organization tips. They ranged from general to really specific (ways to save space on coffee mugs or decorative plates). It was really helpful.

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Do your kitchen cabinets go to the ceiling? It’s a pet peeve of mine that most kitchen cabinets “float” on the wall leaving two or three feet of wasted open space above. In any case, if your cabinets float, you may be able to use that upper space for some bigger, lesser-used items that can free some lower cabinet space for more frequently-used items. Wall-mounted open shelving can be useful for items that display well, like big bowls, plate stacks, etc.

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When my sil remodeled her kitchen she got one of Ikea’s glass book cases and put all her china and glassware in it. It doesn’t take up a lot of room, and the glass doors make it seem smaller than it is. It’s either this one http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/90371770/ or this one http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/50323804/#/50323804 or this one http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/S79023409/#/S69017828

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@bookworm We do not want to add the additional pantry as it closes off the staircase and makes the room look boxed in. If I can put something long and low there, that would be my best option; although I envision that space for other things.

I have been looking on Pinterest and Houzz to get ideas and saving them in hopes that something will work. The pantry we have, we are shelving ourselves and will be making some of the shelves deep in hopes of being able to put larger items, like my mixer, pressure cooker and stockpot as they take up too much cabinet room. Actually, I don’t use any of those that often, so I might just store them in the guest closet. My guess is we will be moving things around for a while until we come of with the best solution!

@ChoatieMom Of course the cabinets do not go to the ceiling, which I also dislike, but with 10 foot ceilings, not sure what I would put that high as I am short :wink: The model had open shelves by the cooktop, but I keep the closed cabinets; not interested in wiping grease off of items stored on the shelves.

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I’m not very tall but still ran my cabinets all the way up to 10 feet. First, I like the look better but it’s also wonderful storage. That’s exactly where I put things that I only use occasionally like extra buffet plates and boxes of wine glasses that I only use for a crowd. I got a wonderfully lightweight ladder and can hop right up there when I need something but that only happens a few times a year.

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@GRITS80 Funny you should mention the wine glasses; when I was discussing with my husband some of the items that needed a home as I only used a few times a year, the wine glasses were at the top of the list! Not including my crystal, I think I have 2 dozen of white and red wine glasses, as well as a few other sets of 4 I received as a gift. There is no reason those all need to be accessible at arms reach; I think I will have enough notice that I will be serving a crowd and can retrieve the glasses from their storage place. :slight_smile:

I do wish the cabinet went to the ceiling as that is what we had at the old house; but it wasn’t on the deal breaker list for the new house! Actually not a single new build or resale we looked at had full cabinets, but that may be because we were looking at town homes and not single homes. As the base of the homes are all built the same unless a custom design, most were pretty standard.

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Our old house had 12-foot ceilings. One of our kitchen cabinet walls went right to the top, the others went up 10-feet, and I still used the two-foot top space for decorative items. I think height is the most underused space in most homes.