I neglected to mention that when I downsized to a one bedroom apartment (rent. not own), it has a 23 x 10 foot patio on the water with awesome views. 
^^ That’s what I want. So nice…
We didn’t downsize so much as rightsize to a much better configuration for this stage of life and into a much less expensive area of our state without giving up any quality of life or access to our friend network. Our house is “newish” (eight years old), solar (owned, not leased), able to be almost completely opened to the outdoors (sliding walls of glass) and with a separate “casita” for our adult son who will be coming home on leave for at least the next six years. His privacy was at the top of the requirements list. When he no longer visits for any length of time, we will be able to rent out the casita if we wish or accommodate an aging parent. We’ve been in our new home a little over three years now, and there is nothing we would change. It was a great choice, but I think we could downsize further if we ever need to. I find myself less and less attached to “stuff” I thought I couldn’t live without even five years ago.
I can’t wait to get out of this big house, but there are several things holding me back right now.
- There are no smaller homes in my town in neighborhoods where I would want to live.
- I have a huge dog that I don’t want to live in an apartment with (no yard, walking him in all kinds of weather).
- My kids do not yet have homes where they can host the holiday get-togethers.
- My kids do not yet have homes where they can put my excess furniture (assuming they want it)
I’m at least 5 years out, but every time I clean house, I count the days when I don’t have so much floor to clean.
I only have 2300 sq ft, which is not that big but I live alone and use less than half of it. I think I could get by in a one bedroom since my kids live nearby and will not be spending nights with me.
I like the term “rightsizing”. We moved to a house that is about the same square footage as the previous one. However, it has 3 bedrooms instead of 4+bonus. It has a 2 car garage instead of 3. The lot size is 30% bigger than the old lot, but we have zero sft of grass instead of 5,000 sft. I find that we use most of the ground floor level daily instead of huddling up in the kitchen as we used to.
I think whether your kids will want to stay with you when they visit is a matter of personal preference. I myself am no a huge fan of staying in other people’s houses. When my Dad was alive and my parents had a house I stayed with them. Now that my Mom is alone in a one bedroom apartment at assisted living, I bypass her sleeper sofa for a nearby hotel and much prefer that option. More privacy, my own bathroom and a fitness room!
We talk almost daily of downsizing…we live in a 6BR, 4.5 bath home with a full finished basement, 3-car garage and more space than anyone needs. I want out, but I don’t want to move to another suburban house. Our kids all live in NYC; one is married and they own their apartment while the other two are single and renting. My plan is to sell the house and rent a 2BR, 1.5-2B apartment in NYC and consider buying a vacation home somewhere within a 2.5 hour drive of NYC. I’ve loved having the room to entertain, celebrate, and spread out, but I’ve had it with the isolation, car culture, and taxes. Due to some family business complications we are probably two years away from this reality, but we’re trying to thoughtfully work through what each of wants and how to achieve it.
We “downsized” to a 2 br 2 ba apartment when Happydad’s work took us halfway across the country for two years. Best kitchen layout of any place I’ve ever lived, with more cabinet space than in our current home and previous apartment combined. Boy was I sad to see that kitchen go when we moved back! Much more “stuff”, much more poorly used space, and much smaller closets here in our townhouse. Waiting for Happykid to leave for grad school so I can see what I can do about improving our “stuff” and space usage issues. Nothing to be done about the closets of course, but at least our basement is finished and dry.
If we would ever move from our cute nearly lake-side townhouse, I can easily imagine living in another apartment or condo like that one someday. 2 br 2 ba is about as small as I’d like to go. We need office space, and there will be overnight guests. My sibs, extended family, and friends (and their kids) are all fearless and curious road warriors. They will come visit no matter where we are in the world.
This would not hold me back…at all. Plenty of nice restaurants for the meal.
Ask them NOW what they want. We did…and there were exactly four things my kids wanted. And all four things are things we plan to ourselves when we downsize. I’m looking forward to purging everything else from this big house. My kids made it clear…there is NOT really much they want…and furniture was at the bottom of the list of wants.
We did the opposite of what people usually do, we up-sized. We’ve wanted to live on the water and had been looking for years. A house came on the market in a perfect location for us and exactly what we wanted, big beach, deep water dock, on the exact water way we wanted in a prime location. It almost didn’t matter what the house looked like. The house is big, and it also has a pool house with 2 bedrooms. We managed to spread out and we do use all the space. I designated 2 rooms as my kids rooms. I also got a big dog who fills in a lot of space. This is the dream for us so we’ll stay here until it’s too much. But if anything were to happen to my hubby I’d have to move, it would be way too much for me.
I so want to downsize but we are a few years away. H still works from home so needs an office for next 3 years (his plan). I doubt we will do a big downsize until we are in retirement home or one of us is gone. Why? He has a grand piano that pre-dates me and it limits how small a space we can go into although I would be happy with ranch house like we first had where we had it in living room. I definitely want one level at least for two of bedrooms. Over stairs
I dream of a smaller place without the yard to tend to without fearing expensive repairs on a very old home.
I saw a second story 2 Bedroom, 1.5 bath condo with a terrace on Realtor.com; LOVE. In a pinch, I could let the dog out on the terrace. The neighborhood is walkable. Just lovely.
Wake me up from my dream!
@eyemamom, my parents up-sized, too, several years after my sister and I were out of college. They added on to their house! That was in 1994 (they built it in 1973). They still live there. It’s huge and contemporary, and I’m afraid it will be a tear-down when it’s sold. 
Someone will manage to put an even bigger house on the lot, I imagine.
We want to downsize - maybe an apartment (but H says we have to have a place for the Weber grill), 2 BR 1 1/2 Bath would be perfect, less property (we now have 3/4 acre). The big problem is where and when.
Should we move closer to our only kid (currently out of college in her own apartment) or to someplace retirement friendly (with nicer weather and lower taxes). Don’t want to live in the suburbs any more - want someplace walk able - but not sure if we want a real city or not.
The when is also huge - wait until retirement and if so, when to retire (H keeps saying he is close). Right now we are both happy in our jobs (except for H’s long commute).
I feel like this is harder to decide then when we first picked a place to live when we got married!
Yes… the holiday gatherings are an issue as we host Rosh Hashonah and Passover… no option to go to a restaurant fo those gatherings. We go to friend for Thanksgiving. She has one of those grand Upper West Side apartments where when you extend the dining room into the living room can easily seat 20 without any problem. The square footage of her 9 room apartment (smallest in the building by the way as others are 11 rooms and 13 rooms, 2 apartments on the floor) is larger than my house.
I grew up in a 4 bedroom colonial-- full attic, full basement, dining room, den, you name it. (I’m one of 5 “kids” in my family.)
Mom waited a year after dad died, then sold the house. (Thankfully, shortly BEFORE Superstorm Sandy.) It was simply way too much to keep up.l
She spent a few years in a 1 br garden apartment, but got tired of paying rent. She now has a 2 bedroom unit (condo I think) in a local 55+ community. She’s on the 2nd floor, but it came with one of those stair chairs.
She’s now 87, and happy as a clam.
It is absolutely the right place for her. Some features we all especially like:
- It’s about half a mile from one of my sisters, the one with no kids. She takes the lead in checking in on mom and handles her finances. Another sister is 10 minutes away, I’m about 20, and my remaining sister and brother are under an hour.
- Her unit is about 50 feet from the community room, where the seniors gather to play cards and bingo; it’s also where the mailboxes are. Even in really cold weather, mom can find companionship.
- Her unit has some skylights, so it’s always bright and cheery.
- She has a stackable washer/dryer. So very convenient! Also a dishwasher.
- Central air, ceiling fans in the living room and bedrooms.
-That second bedroom is wonderful. It gives my older sister a place to stay when she visits mom. And it gives mom a room with a 2nd closet (her off-season wardrobe), room for her computer, simply more space. Since my sister’s kids are grown, she sleeps over with mom a few times a year for a weekend or so. - The community runs a bus to the supermarket every week. They also have a bank that comes on site every week if you choose to have an account there. (mom opted out of that because of the fee, but it’s available.)
- The garbage dumpsters are right across the parking lot-- but gated off so they’re not visible.
- The view from mom’s windows are all trees.
- There’s a visitor’s parking lot near the entry. So, while mom doesn’t have her own space, she’s always able to find one within a few feet of her doorway.
- There’s a Dairy Barn kind of place on the corner. If inclement weather threatens, mom can stop there for milk for her tea.
- She’s close to church, to Kohls, to lots of restaurants, to just about anything she would want.
Wife and I can’t wait. We want mobility and a condo with gym, pool, sounds great right now. Houses are endless projects, endless decorate, endless redo (ours at least).
Small 1 or 2 bedroom would be fine by me…the only time we get sad is when we think of Holidays, but owning a big home just to have holiday time is silly.
Facts are it will just be us husband and wife NO KIDS. We will visit, txt, call, but they will grow up and do their own thing we need to make sure WE doing well!
Don’t want to be one of those empty nesters that get divorced or are miserable with each other.
We downsized three years ago to a two bedroom townhouse from a 3200 4 bedroom house. The kids are all own their own so that part’s fine. They’re nearby, we see them often, and they don’t need to stay over. I do miss some things about my house. This townhouse is in a complex and there is no grilling allowed. In fact, we don’t have any private outdoor space although there are some common green areas. I would like more of that.
I love your post bjkmom. The little things can be very important; the nearness of parking, laundry, the pool and greenspace, for example. I don’t expect to be driving everyday but I do not want to walk the length of a football field to get to my front door. Don’t want to haul laundry either but I think the complex on my radar now has no W/D connection in the 1BR unit, just a common laundry room somewheres. That might be a deal-breaker for me. The upside is that it is a very nice neighborhood, from what I am told.
I’m glad I could help.
So I’ll expand a bit if you don’t mind:
When mom was in the 1 br apartment, these are the things that had us second-guessing it:
- She had a particular parking space, but it was in the very back of the unit. So she had to walk all the way around the building. If she was out past dark, or it was icy out, that was a concern.
- Likewise, the dumpsters were behind the building. On a cold day, that was a distance for an elderly lady to walk to put out the garbage.
- There was no sense of community, since it wasn’t a 55+ complex-- just neighbors. The last winter mom spent there was cold and snowy, and she was alone too much for our liking. Sure, we all called pretty often. But there wasn’t the companionship that her new place provides.
- Her kitchen was TINY. Mom loves to entertain, and the apartment wasn’t really conducive to that.
- There was a washer and dryer, but they were in the basement. One, it was a little creepy. And two, she doesn’t need to be going up and down stairs.
There are lots of very nice neighborhoods. I would look online at tons of Senior housing-- in and out of your target area-- just to find amenities to consider. And think, not of the shape you’re in now, but yourself at age 87 and what amenities you’ll want and need then.