In our area there is just very little on the market if we wanted to downsize. We are Gen X, early 50s, but now that we’re down to just one high school sophomore and the the three older kids out, our 3,500 sq ft 6 bedroom house is not what we need. We’ve decided to stay put for at least a couple more years, so we’re having the interior of our house painted right now and we’re freshening things up. It’s a lot of empty bedrooms though…
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We fall into the category of boomers who are not downsizing. Our house is 4 bedrooms and 3-1/2 baths, about 3250+ sq ft. We’ve owned it for about 28 years. Our house is all one story with a nice wide hallway so we feel like we can get around even if we become somewhat mobility impaired. We love our location in terms of it being suburban but easy access to the freeway, airport etc.
Both of our kids are launched. The younger one lives here in town and the older one is married and OOS. We’re renovating the kitchen and 2 bathrooms and redoing the interior paint and carpet. H has used one bedroom as a home office for years, and has transitioned to almost entirely WFH. I’m going to turn the older kid’s bedroom into my work room. I’m not retired so I feel like I can’t call it a “home office,” but I am very busy with volunteer work. The younger kid’s bedroom will now be a guest room where D and SIL can stay when they visit. I’ve spend a lot of time in the lead up to this renovation going through all the stuff in my two adult childrens’ bedrooms and discussing with them what to keep and what to discard or donate. The younger one is more of a hoarder but fortunately the older one who lives OOS takes after her dad and is more ruthless about throwing stuff out.
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I don’t think there’s ever been a requirement to pay 6% although it has been pretty commonly expected. At one time, 6.5% was the norm in our former area. However, I’ve found that real estate commissions have long been negotiable, particularly on the selling side.
We actually had a Realtor who, more than once, offered to reduce his share of the commission while the buyer’s agent would still get 3%. He represented us on selling one house and buying the next, so was making quite a bit by handling the two transactions. We also found that the percentage expected, or at least requested, by some agents will vary based on the price of the house. Some agents were content with splitting 4% on a bigger deal while still expecting more on a less expensive property.
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In my area, there really is no option to negotiate.
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We still have 9-10 years at a min to go. But I would love to be able to afford a condo in the general area I am at and be here May-Oct. Then find another location where I could have a condo Nov-Apr. Weatherwise it would be perfect.
I have thought about the whole idea of making sure we have room if the D’s come visit. I decided I would rather drastically downsize and when they do visit I will just pay for a hotel room. I think in the long run I will save money.
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Not a bad idea. But think about having a pull-out couch, in case there is a time where somebody needs to stay with you after a surgery or something.
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We downsized to 2 bedrooms. The second bedroom is my office, but also has a single bed in it. My daughter sleeps in when she visits overnight. If she ends up married with children, I guess they couls use an air mattress or sleeping bags on the floor. But since we are now only 30 minutes away, if she stays nearby and has a family, she would be less likely to want to sleep over.
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I have wanted to downsize for a while but house prices where I live are increasing daily. It seems ridiculous to me that my house value is what it is - good for me. I don’t want to short myself out of additional profits and since every place else I’m looking to downsize to is also increasing, I’ve just shut off vents and closed doors to the parts of the house we no longer venture to. I’ll ride this investment for a while longer.
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We’ve downsized. Sold 1900+ sq ft home, rented 900sq ft apartment, and now in 650 sq foot apt. We are in the process of building ADU of under 1000 sq. Ft for DH and me, and a modest house for DD and her family on the same property. DD will buy into 50% of the property and we will split taxes equally. (It’s expensive, but at least the houses will be very energy efficient, and should not need maintenance for awhile.).
We find we are perfectly happy in 900 sq. Feet, but 650 feels too small for long term living.
In happy news, DS and his wife just had their offer accepted on a house with a 900 sq. Foot attached ADU for DIL’s parents, only 12 minutes away from our new houses. An absolutely amazing find!!!
Our family northward relocation project has actually succeeded far beyond our expectations. 
. Everyone will be housed in nice houses, including both sets of in-laws. All young adults gainfully employed. Good daycare spots now secured for all three grandchildren. Last step….finish the house building so I can move out DH and my basement apartment!!!
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Wow, sounds really nice.
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I’ve considered the hotel option for visiting kids in the future, too, and think that both of my sons and their partners would prefer that anyway. DH and I do it when we visit my dad and while my mom was unhappy about it when we first did it 15 years ago, it really did work out well. There just wasn’t room for four out-of-town sibs plus their kids, and DH really needs a quiet place to hide at times. I think we’d still want a guest room/office in a downsized scenario, but I don’t see a need to have some place big enough to hold both sons’ families (if they choose that route) once a year (they both live several thousand miles away).
However, if ExpatS and DIL decide to move here, we may go multigenerational in our current house.
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Absolutely no judgement, everyone should do what works for them and their families, but I will pay for, clean, and watch that guest space languish just to make sure it is always there for our son and his wife and any future children they might have. They MUST be under my roof waking up to my coffee and breakfast and love every morning of their visit. I always want them to know that our home is theirs, and there is always plenty of room for them whenever they are able to visit.
OTOH, we always stay in a hotel whenever we visit DH’s parent. Nothing will entice me to share that roof.
Different strokes. (I totally understand.)
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@anxiousmom - amazing! I’d love something like that! (fam close by so we could help each other but everyone has their own private space)
One the ‘room for adult kids’ - at our stage I’m looking at places that have a min of two bedrooms. My D is 22 and I always want her to know this is her home (wherever we are). She’s just graduating, looking at grad school, single. On the other hand, S is 32 and established in his own life. Don’t feel (somehow) the same need to keep a room for him!
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Our grandkids are toddlers and preschooler, and childcare is extremely expensive, so that is one more reason for our move. We got used to the comfort and ease of living nearby to DD and family during Covid, and DS and his family (then living 3 hours away) also wanted that with us, and with DILs parents, too.
Also, we feel like we are getting older fast, and this type of move takes a lot of energy that we may not have in our 70’s! It’s not just the packing and moving, it’s all the decisions that have to be made about what to keep and what to let go of, that is so difficult.
In regards to house downsizing, I wanted a big combined kitchen/living, 1.5 bathrooms, mud room area, and tiny bedrooms. Like, closet-sized bedrooms, with enough room for bed and storage and nothing else. But, I wanted windows on two sides of these closet-sized bedrooms, so that they still feel light and open. With a small house, you really have to prioritize where you want to “spend” your square footage!
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Anxiousmom- I have the exact same preferences! No desire for big fancy bedroom - something simple and cozy but lots of light throughout house. My dream is floor to ceiling windows in mountain cabin-type place lol
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Some people keep their kids rooms intact for years/decades - and maybe they and the now grown kids like that.
My new mantra in our new house whenever we talk about improvements or decor or whatever is “just remember, 95% of the time it’s just me and dad here” - a reminder to us to keep the space/decor right for us in the forefront.
That said, when youngest daughter graduated from bachelors before working on her doctorate, together we did a refresh on her bedroom at home. She didn’t need the high school or freshman decor and appreciated having a “new” fresh bedroom - still her own - to come home to. And i was happy to have that room not be stuck in time and to be a pleasant room to walk by or even spend a little time in.
And as mentioned above, for US I can’t imagine our kids staying or choosing to stay anywhere but here when they come to visit. One lives in town and the other 2 live a little over 2 hours away so visiting often is pretty doable. But if you have to suggest other accommodations for guests/kids like a hotel that doesn’t mean you can’t still do a morning breakfast/brunch together or late night snacks - you just might not all be in jammies. 
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I did a little math yesterday considering downsizing. We are in California and have had the good fortune to ride the insane rise in housing prices here for the last 30 years. Which means that if we sold, we’d owe a significant amount in capital gains taxes. If we died in this house, the kids would get the stepped up basis in the inheritance and save all that money. (Not that money is the primary objective in downsizing but something to consider).
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We are in the same boat as you here in California. We never upsized so our little home 2.5 miles from the ocean is just right for us for now. Stairs may be an issue as we age though.
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My aunt kept her house partially for just what you describe. They paid less than $150k for their house in the Bay Area, and when she died (a couple of decades later of course) it was worth well over a million. My cousin got quite a nice inheritance.
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If people may wish to downsize a house they lived in that had appreciated and don’t want hefty capital gains, keep in mind they can exclude the 1st $500,000 of gains for a couple.
If they rent out the property, they can do a 1031 exchange for another rental property, tax free exchange.
For both types of situations, they need to be sure to meet requirements, but it is something to consider.
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