Downsizing -- pros/cons?

Parent Cafe
1921

Based on our years of researching for relocation, I highly advise taking some of your two days to sit down with a realtor. We did that in several different cities, making sure they knew it was exploratory only. I emailed ahead of time, giving a general idea of what kind of house we were looking for, a broad budget, and the kind of lifestyle that interested us. Then when we met in person, the realtor was able to give us an idea of what might be possible. They could discuss health care, socialization potential, traffic, shopping, etc. Then sometimes they took us into a few homes for sale and drove us around various neighborhoods, and sometimes we drove ourselves just to get a feel.

We did come to San Diego three years before our relocation and stayed in VRBO’s in two different areas for a month each. The realtor I had contacted was able to advise on where to stay. In addition to testing out what it was like to live here, we also thoroughly explored houses for sale everywhere. Lots of open houses!

When we finally were able to move, we already had somewhat of an idea of what it would be like to live in different areas and could narrow our search. The realtor had stayed in touch all along and kept me on her listing service. My hobby was reviewing San Diego houses for sale! We made some compromises on the kind of house and we had to increase our budget. But no real surprises and no regrets.

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1922

Great tips and thanks for sharing your experiences.

I do think, like you said, Colorado_mom, that a quickie trip might be dispositive if it give a strong ‘no way’ vibe. Although, since my husband really likes FL, I’m trying to keep an open mind. :slightly_smiling_face:

I like the idea of a realtor - particularly on a second visit. I hadn’t thought of pulling one in that early in the game - but, why not? As you said, Marilyn, they have all the relevant info at their fingertips (accessibility to quality health care, price ranges viz a viz quality of home, nature of community, etc.).

Thanks again!

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1923

You know, family and I did the relocation and downsizing crazy fast and crazy crazy. Made a big online spread sheet with DH, DS, DD, their spouses, and entered stats about climate, population, politics, safety, home prices, economy and narrowed it down to this location as most preferable on paper.

Visited this promising area with hubby, DS and his family for 4 snowy March days, poked around coffee shops and libraries, decided we liked it, went home, online found a vacant piece of property in the town, put down earnest money on it site unseen- to the consternation of the local realtor we were working with remotely.

Returned the following month for 4 rainy days -but this time with DD and her family- closed on said property after seeing it for the first time, made a long drive to another state to examine modular homes we were interested in, poked around playgrounds, flew home, ordered modular homes
. So, committed to this town and area after only 8 days of visiting, and committed to buying a piece of property before even seeing it, and without DS, DD, their spouses being fully committed to this location or having any job possibilities lined up. Absolutely insane to do it this way!

And then boom, DD got a job offer in town, and we relocated here months earlier than planned, and before our homes were ready, and all the other spouses and DS got jobs here.

Today on Thanksgiving, almost exactly one year after we made the long cross country drive, we celebrated together here at my DD’s house, just a few feet away from our ADU. DS, DDIL, DDIL’s parent, who live in an ADU attached to their house just a few minutes away, were there, too, as were all three of my grandchildren. It’s absolutely crazy that it all worked out.
I don’t mean to suggest that you just hurl yourself into the moving decision, like we did, but in our case, it has been fantastic and we feel blessed to be in this beautifully and progressive community.

(988 sq feet is feeling good size for us, too! :grinning:)

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1924

Real estate rules changed in August and I believe you have to enter into a contract with a buyer’s agent to get their services. The way that agent is paid has changed too.

Buyers, meanwhile, will be required to sign an agreement with their own broker before starting to view homes. The buyer and the agent must agree, and put in writing, how much the agent can expect to receive from the buyer.

Not sure how this works in several different locations.

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1925

Wow - that is amazing amazing story, anxiousmom. :slightly_smiling_face:

I kind of feel I’d enjoy living on a piece of property, in my own house, some distance from son, with space for daughter to stay when she wants.

My son wants to eventually build an ‘intentional community’ of friends and mentioned he’d enjoy having husband and I in it. Would love that intergenerational mix!

Not sure that will come to pass, but the idea of community/family together is so appealing!

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1926

Thanks, compmom. I had heard about that legal change but somehow thought I’d still be able to do what I wanted as a potential buyer. Will have to buckle down and read it!

1927

I forgot about that, but hopefully people can still do consultations and conversations that don’t involve viewing specific houses.

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1928

I also need to find out how to look at houses in different areas and states. Often open houses happen after a place is already sold. If we are looking casually, perhaps open houses are the solution. Or maybe it is allowed to look once with a buyer’s agent as a way to interview them-?

1929

compmom - I’ve been stalking Zillow for a few years, looking at listings in various areas I might consider moving. Almost every ‘for sale’ listing has a ‘would you like to tour this house?’ button you can click to get a tour outside of the open house hours.

So that might be a way to see houses without signing anything with a buyer’s agent.

As to the generalized, helpful info Marilyn mentioned (nature of the neighborhoods, assessment of healthcare and other considerations) - I’m wondering if that could be obtained via a preliminary interview with a buyer’s agent. I.e., just to get background info on an area/neighborhoods, then tour houses on your own via Zillow appointments.

Presumably if you narrowed it down you might later retain the buyer’s agent who helped you at the outset when it came time to do the transaction
?

I’m not positive about this Zillow touring procedure but it seems you can look at least one home without commitment (others here are likely more expert on this!)

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1930

It’s often recommended to rent when you make the big transition (maybe even leaving some of your stuff temporarily in storage near original location). That gives good flexibility to change to a different neighborhood or maybe even a totally new location. However it’s a tough mindset.

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1931

We visited our current location several times before buying. It is in a place known for cold/snow and we came here in the winter. In fact we put a contract on our current house 3 years ago in December when the yard was not visible due to snow. After living 38 years in DC area , we never adjusted to the hot, humid summers there. We have far fewer issues here.

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1932

Does anyone here live in the Boston area? I am thinking about a looking for a condo in the immediate surrounding area for retirement. We are young retirees (early 50s) who run, bike and still like to get out. Cambridge or Somerville are intriguing.

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1933

My late aunt owned a condo in West Concord. Her son and family live walking distance away and daughter and her family in Somerville. The condo will be available for rent soon–two BR, 2 baths, all on one level. Lovely grounds and a pool in the summer.

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1934

Just got back from 5 days in FL - to visit husband’s family and get a ‘feel’ for the place as a possible future downsize location.

I will say - the weather is very nice! 75+ degrees and sunny. But (the areas I went to) were very quiet. Beautiful, tasteful homes, in some meticulously (gated) planned communities (incl hub’s dad at The Villages).

Seemed great for those living there but my primary sense was: too quiet, too homogeneous, too curated, too bland for me :woman_shrugging:

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1935

Sounds like worthwhile recon

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1936

Keep in mind that’s the weather in December. In the summer, it’s not so pleasant. Some people love it, but some people find it oppressive. Same could be said for the Villages. Some people love it, and some really don’t care for it at all. I thought I might want a retirement community as I got older, but I think I’ve decided I really like a neighborhood with people of all ages. I would consider an “active adult” community, but I don’t think I’d move to a place were you MUST be 55 or whatever.

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1937

My cousin and her husband have lived in a 55+ community for a couple of years (they downsized from a larger home) and their HOA fees are quite high. It’s a large beautifully landscaped golf course community (her husband loved to golf) with the restaurant and pro shop at the golf course (the golf course is open to the public, but people living in the 55+ community get a huge discount to play. They also have a pool, gym, tennis courts, putting green, club house with library and game room, and fitness classes and all sorts of activities (these amenities are for residents only). The HOA is strict but my cousin and her husband knew that going in. Plus, they get all these amenities and they get a nice house that’s a decent size but small enough for the 2 of them and they don’t have space they don’t need. They can’t paint their house without permission and they have to get their front landscaping approved but they don’t care. At their age they aren’t looking to do something like paint their house.

My SIL is probably going to downsize soon. She was widowed a couple of years ago and the house she’s in is way more bedrooms than she needs and she wants to start fresh. And she wants a place that’s low maintenance.

H and I will probably downsize eventually. Maybe to a 55+ community.

We’ve lived in subdivisions with and without HOAs and we’ve dealt with the pros and cons of both. In the no HOA neighborhood most of the houses and yards were very nice, but there was one house where the grass was a foot tall and full of weeds and another house with junk in the front yard and a ton of old cars on the driveway and on the street in front of the house. And you’d sometimes have one person who’d park their boat or RV in front of their house for a week and it would take up part of the street.

We live in an HOA neighborhood now and the fees aren’t too bad and we have a nice pool; some walking paths, basketball/tennis courts, small playground and landscaping. And our HOA fees allow us access to the swim club at the lake in our city. Our HOA is strict but I don’t think they enforce the rules much. There is one gentleman down the street from us who seems to run a car repair business out of his garage (though he seems to be fixing the same cars most of the time) and his driveway has 4 cars in it (he has a long drive way) 2 of which seem to always have the hoods up, one seems to have no windows and the other has a flat tire. They have 2 other cars that they drive and those they park on the street at different parts of the street, or everywhere but in front of their own house. Plus their garage door is always open and it’s full of all sorts of stuff, that doesn’t look so good and it seems like it could attract a burglar. People have complained to the HOA, but I think they’re dragging their feet. Also, I’ve lived in neighborhoods where the people on the HOA board don’t follow the rules, but they have no problem citing everyone else


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1938

We lived in a community with an HOA and still had that next door (in a family with several able bodied adults) for 5 years. They finally moved.

We now live in a city. No HOA, but the vast majority of people keep up their property. There are some things that are not to my taste, and definitely things that would not have passed with our prior suburban HOA, but it’s much more visually interesting. Pros and cons.

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1939

Is anyone switching to renting for more flexibility?

1940

We sold our family home a few years ago and rent – we pay more in rent now, but not having to budget for major home repairs is a game changer in terms of my peace of mind.

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