<p>Got a letter home from the school today about about an event that happened in our daughters grade-“junior” last weekend. Apparently a junior went to a party at a friends house with about twenty students in a basement. They do not have their licenses and the parents were home, but left them unsupervised downstairs. They purchased two cases for all of them-not much for twenty kids but still… The kid called home and his mother picked him up-apparently their was weed smuggled in as well. Mother fires off a strongly worded email to the principal with the name of the student who hosted the party. Cue an assembly today, and apparently from our daughter there was an altercation between the two mothers on Friday. Both kids have been suspended and are being told to “rat” out everybody there…just sickening in my opinion. </p>
<p>The school is doing what they have to do, but encouraging kids to do that is messed up in my opinion. As much blame, IMO lies on the parents, the mother of the host for her part, and the mother of the innocent kid for going to the school (a huge mistake IMO). Just want to discuss what you guys think and how you would react if you where in their shoes?</p>
<p>I think I’m misunderstanding the post… Can you please clarity a few things? Who bought the alcohol? What parents were fighting at this assembly? What exactly was the tone of the assembly?</p>
<p>Are you saying that the parents purchased alcohol for the kids? If that is the case, this should be a legal matter that involves the police and not the school.</p>
<p>I am surprised that the school is suspending students. The party did not happen on school property. I could see the students being suspended if there was an altercation between the two students on school property, but otherwise the school is overstepping.</p>
<p>However, I do believe that the school has every right to get involved in terms of stepping up their drug and alcohol abuse education. So I do think the emergency assembly is appropriate–as long as it keeps names out of it and does not make it personal.</p>
<p>It is not the school’s place to get involved in ratting out students who were at a private party. However kids have to learn that sometimes it is necessary to involve parents/ authorities in situations that get out of control. Even though it may seem like ratting someone out…it is essential that students contact adults if a friend gets sick or is at risk for dangerous behavior.</p>
<p>It may be a good idea to include parents in an assembly…so that parents/ students know the importance of communication, what to do in an emergency and the local host laws regarding underage drinking. I do not fault the parent who got in touch with the school. I don’t think they should have shared names, but I do think this whole situation is a teaching moment that the school can and should get involved in.</p>
<p>I think parents who allow underage drinking in their home ( and especially those that go so far as to provide the alcohol) are idiots. Happens all the time around my neighborhood. The kids in your scenario above are in a tough position. Hopefully everyone will learn a lesson and fortunately it doesn’t appear anyone was hurt. </p>
<p>I think that step #1 should have been for the mom who picked up her child to speak to the parents that hosted the party. I personally would not have called the school as I wouldn’t want my child to take on the pressure of being the “rat.”</p>
<p>This sounds like a private matter to me. Whatever happened didn’t occur during school hours, on school property, or at a school function, so why is the district involved? </p>
<p>Agreed. Call the parents involved and tell them what happened, if your kid reports such a thing. How is this the school’s business?</p>
<p>Parents who allow drinking are incredibly stupid, as they can be held legally liable for any results, such as accidents, even if they had no idea someone brought in the alcohol! More than one court case has found liability just because it is at your house. </p>
<p>^^^ that’s what I would have done. I feel like it was wrong to go to the school with names-the kids didn’t really do anything wrong. I especially feel bad for the kid who was the “rat” who probably will be a leper in the school for a couple of weeks.</p>
<p>AFAIK, the parents did provide the alcohol-apparently this wasn’t the first time they had done so-but the first where that kid was present. Don’t know much about the details of the assembly but apparently they did mention details but not names. The altercation happened on Friday when the hosts kid was suspended, and his mother drove to the kids house and cussed out mother two.</p>
<p>Kid in my area died at one of these “parents bought the alcohol” house parties. It’s in the hands of the criminal justice system right now to determine whether the parents were negligent, criminally negligent, not at fault, etc. There seems to be little question that two family’s lives have been destroyed (the dead boy; the hosts) even if the dad (whose credit card was used) doesn’t go to jail.</p>
<p>I applaud the school for not sweeping this under the rug. Parents who buy their kids friends booze have bigger problems than getting into a cat fight at a school assembly.</p>
<p>We had a kid in our area hospitalized after attending a “parents bought the alcohol” party. The parents, who were home at the time of the party, were arrested. I agree that any parent who knowingly hosts a drinking/drugging party in their home is stupid. I’m sure there are some parents who are unaware - but in general, if your kid is having a party and lots of kids are attending, there is usually alcohol involved. </p>
<p>Our school would not have become involved in the OP’s situation because the events did not occur on school property. It certainly can’t hurt to lecture the kids, although they don’t ever seem to internalize it until something very bad happens.</p>
<p>Had any of these kids signed off on a EC participation agreement not to consume such substances? Some schools require that. I’ve known of kids losing participation privileges for breaking that agreement. </p>
<p>High school students here have died after drinking. It is stupid and dangerous for a parent to buy alcohol for children who are not family members–likely without the knowledge of the other parents.</p>
<p>1) Parents are idiots for providing any alcohol to minors.
2) School shouldn’t be involved. This was a private party.
3) School can make “public service” announcements to any extent it would like.</p>
<p>Definitely not condoning the actions on either side. I feel like it should have been settled anonymously and between the parents at first, I maybe would have emailed the school confidentially. </p>
<p>I haven’t read the whole thread. This is a story that happened locally 4 years ago. This young man was 2 days shy of his 19th bday. </p>
<p>I think homes & other property should be seized if there is underage drinking. My kids and their friends always knew that there would be hell to pay if any booze was brought into my home. And if drugs were brought in? May God help them!!!</p>
<p>Are you really a parent? I am really sick of so-called adults who think that kids should protect each other in cases of illegal/dangerous activities. I thought the concept of “ratting” originated in organized crime “families”.</p>
<p>I guess now we can all understand the reluctance of college students who refuse to report sexual assaults and excessive underage drinking resulting in medical crisis or death. After all, who wants to be the one to get people in trouble and have social consequences (see the Rolling Stone/UVA article in case my references aren’t obvious enough).</p>