<p>Opinions needed
My d just told me that when she goes somewhere with one of her friends the mom allows her daughter to practice driving - the mom sits in the front and the friend just got her permit. My d and the other friends ride in the back.<br>
I was a bit surprised to hear this because I would never even think to let my d drive with others in the car before she passed her test - I even checked the guide book because I thought it may not be legal but I couldnt find anything about it. My husband and my d think I’m over reacting. Am I? Before I talk to the friend’s parents I need some perspective…</p>
<p>You need to look at the law of your state first. It’s illegal in California. I would not allow my kids to ride with that friend again.</p>
<p>Few years back when we were doing carpooling with another family, the mother told us that her son would be doing the driving with her sitting next to him. She ASKED us if we were ok with it. She said it was important for her son to do as much driving as possible before he got his license and she would understand if we didn’t feel comfortable with it. We opted out of the carpool. </p>
<p>I never let anyone with just a permit to drive my kids around, not even kids with only a year or two license. I have specifically asked parents not to let their older teenage to drive my kids when they were over their house. Likewise, I never let D1 drive D2’s friends without their parents permission.</p>
<p>We ran in to that with our kids. Parents thought it was a perfectly fine way for their kids to get experience. It got a bit awkward at times because our family rule was concrete: no riding with a driver with less than 6 months license experience. I felt bad, but when you look at it as “No, your inexperienced driver may not use my child as a Guinea Pig even with you in the other seat” then you see it differently. It doesn’t matter if Mom is in the front seat - she doesn’t have the brakes and steering wheel.
Stick to your guns.</p>
<p>Its not illegal in CA
whats illegal is once the kids has a license, then they cannot drive around friends without a parent</p>
<p>around here its common courtesy to ask a parent before having a kid w/ a permit drive them but as always some people don’t follow/know</p>
<p>I guess I’m a little bit more trusting (and trustful).</p>
<p>Several years ago when D1 and one of her good friends were 15, we flew down to Houston to see my mom (who was not quite a year widowed) and drive her out to Ruidoso, New Mexico where my aunt had a vacation house. I think between Roswell and San Antonio, going each way, each girl got in about five hours each driving, with me in the front seat. At the time, our kids were required to get at least 25 hours of driving time with a licensed adult (other than their instructor), but now I think it’s 50. Of course my mom’s car was a big boat and we’d go miles without seeing another car, but the speed limit was 80. I think the other girls’ parents (who we know very well and have known since the girls were in kindergarten) were just grateful that I took care of at least five hours of her required time, which lessened the time they had spend behind the wheel with her (they have five kids).</p>
<p>" I think the other girls’ parents (who we know very well and have known since the girls were in kindergarten) were just grateful that I took care of at least five hours of her required time, which lessened the time they had spend behind the wheel with her (they have five kids)."</p>
<p>Texas law only allows maximum 1 hour of training credit per day (total 20 hours). California 2 hours (total 50 hours).</p>
<p>I think the issue here is that there should be consent from the parents; we ran into this situation on both sides: and I am talking about a state where it is legal to drive another person with a parent in the car at the permit stage…</p>
<p>My daughter was in a carpool where they didn’t ask my permission for the other student to drive with the permit…that annoyed me and I didn’t think it was appropriate so I called the parent on it and we discussed under what conditions it would be ok…</p>
<p>When my daughter got her permit and we were in another carpool, I knew that our carpool partner would never allow her daughter to drive with my daughter driving so I didn’t ask and we never had her drive with the carpool; she earned her experience elsewhere…</p>
<p>as with many situations, it’s all about communication…</p>
<p>Interesting, coolweather, as I know kids who’ve double up on hours at the driving school if there was a cancellation and they already were there when the next set went out.</p>
<p>For me, it would depend on the kid/car/parent/street/traffic conditions. My personal rule for the boys was/is (I have a 15yo in driver’s ed right now) that I’m not taking you on a type of road that you haven’t yet driven with an instructor (who has the extra set of brakes) So, no large thoroughfares with me until you have been on one with the instructor. No highways with me until you have been on one with the instructor. I really can’t imagine any of my friends letting their kids take mine on the open road with no experience in that situation. I trust my friends to make good judgements.</p>
<p>That said, I wouldn’t let MY kid drive someone else’s kid when all he had was his permit. If something went wrong, I couldn’t live with the guilt. I hated when ds1 started driving other kids around, even though he had his license and is a safe driver who, by nature, isn’t a risk taker.</p>
<p>My kids are 6 years apart in age and I never even let my older drive with his sister in the car until he had had his full license for six months. We had the six months rule for both kids, they couldn’t drive anyone nor be driven by anyone who had not had their full license for 6 months. They were not allowed to drive with more than one occupant until one full year. I’m not aware of what the law is in our state, but that is Mom’s Law!</p>
<p>I think it depends. If the road doesn’t have many intersections or traffic and the ride short, it can be allowed once in a while. Kids liked to show off to each other after they learn to control the vehicle.</p>
<p>When I was a teen, I was very often a passenger of a student driver with Mom in the front seat. It seemed like absolutely no big deal. </p>
<p>One time when D2 had her permit, I allowed her to drive part of the way to our lake house-it was on a deserted rural highway-with a friend of hers in the back seat. I had thought nothing of it. Later that evening, however, I thought “what in the world was I thinking?” I don’t know that I would want my D to be a passenger in a car driven by a student driver, and I would appreciate at least being asked. </p>
<p>We never did that again!</p>
<p>At our D’s school and the driver’s ed classes that are taught via the school system, the kids are 3 learners per instructor. So for us, it is “normal” for a permited teen to drive while an instructer sits shotgun with two students in back. And these are not easy roads my friends, we are talking major highways, interchanges, etc. I guess for us it would depend on the driver and parent. Because they learned in a group, continuing education in a group seems the norm.</p>
<p>Our rule is no driving any friends while under a learner’s permit (15 years old) and not with a license (16 years old) for the first 6 months. The rule applies to them riding with friends also. Breaking the rules results in no driving until 18. Any ticket results in same consequence. If they need/want to go with friends I drive them.</p>
<p>My girls are long past the learning to drive stage but I would never have wanted any of them to be driving with a new driver. I don’t care if the mother is in the front seat or not. What could she possibly do if there was a problem?! I think it’s irresponsible of any parent to do this without consulting with the friend’s parent, and I can’t imagine myself ever agreeing to it. Nor would I have done it with one of my Ds driving when friends were along. These are new drivers we’re talking about here. Ask yourself if you’d feel comfortable sitting in the backseat with a new driver at the wheel. I wouldn’t. I was nervous with my own kids early driving! Maybe it’s the years I worked in an insurance company’s claims department while in grad school that influences me on all issues driving related, but no, I would never have allowed it, nor done it myself.</p>
<p>S is 20 and I still make sure parents know he’s driving if my pre-driver D’s friends are looking for a ride. </p>
<p>As for letting my child with a learner’s permit drive other peoples’ kids? No way! I couldn’t stand the guilt I would feel if something ever happened. Letting someone else’s learner drive mine would not be something I’d be happy with…particularly if I were not asked first.</p>
<p>My parents (and many of my friends’) had a rule that I couldn’t drive with new drivers (license for under a year) without specifically asking them first, and usually the answer was no. I was totally fine with that rule-plenty of the kids I would have gotten rides with otherwise ended up in accidents during their first year! When I was learning to drive and had a friend, my mom always made them call their parents to see if it was alright that I drove, and if not, she would drive. That seems sensible to me. </p>
<p>However we did have to drive with other new drivers in driver’s ed. In my state you’re required to do 10 hours of “observation”, aka sitting in the back seat while another student drives and the teacher’s riding shotgun.</p>
<p>I would not be comfortable with another student learning with my student in the car. I would NOT be please if the other parent did not ask.
Our boys have not been allowed to ride with other students. This did cause a few glitches here and there, but they understood. Once they were driving, no passengers other than their brothers. S2 has a nice group of close friends. It would be unfair of me to say, you can ride/drive with x,y,z and not 1,2,3 because they are obnoxious and I don’t trust them not to be wild in the car.
Both H and I lost friends in hs in student driver auto accidents. Serving as a pall bearer at your best friends funeral when you are 17 will leave a very long memory of how short life is, and how bad teen drivers are. Our kids don’t always like it, but understand why our views are a bit harsher than their friends.</p>
<p>I was the poster who allowed my daughter to drive with another passenger in the back seat ONCE. I decided that same day that it was not the best of ideas and I wouldn’t do it again.</p>
<p>However, it is true that in our state, during driver’s ed driving times, there are always at least two other student passengers in the back seat.</p>
<p>What have all of you who are so adamant about not allowing your child to ride shotgun with a student driver done about this? In my state, you do have the option to do your own driver’s ed. with your child-there are pretty stringent requirements, but it can be done. It’s only in hindsight that I really even considered this to be a problem, likely due to the fact that it was done this way even way back when I took driver’s ed. My child went off to driver’s ed. all those times, and I can’t say I gave it much thought at the time…until we were driving to our lake house that day.</p>
<p>I think it’s a completely different story when parents have given permission as in driver’s ed for their child to be a passenger and a student. The instructor is certified, the school is insured and there is often a second steering wheel and set of brakes. Not to say that is any guarantee - when I was first learning to drive, the instructor had a second set of controls and I still had a near miss. </p>
<p>In our area we don’t have school based driver’s ed for the driving part, just the written, so this was never an issue here. There are private driving schools which many people use in the beginning and parents have to sign off on 50 hours of practice. </p>
<p>However, I would not allow my child to be a passenger in this situation and I certainly would not want any parent making that decision on my behalf.</p>