This is actually sad, i went to a UC years ago for four years. In that time i made no close friends and literally sat in my room the whole time. I am used to doing nothing but i would like to do fun stuff all the time its just that i never had a life before and im kind of clueless on what to do. When i went to college i assumed there was nothing to do but study and go to class. I never saw Animal House or knew anything about college or greek life. I roomed with people who didnt have lives either and just studied and didnt socialize much, besides them i knew 200 people. I never saw any of these people on my way to and from class and kind of forgot to get peoples phone numbers and addresses nonetheless keep in touch and hang out with them. The thing is I didnt even use facebook in college as i never got messages or notifications and didnt know why, i guess i just didnt know how to use it properly. It never occurred to me to hit up people often and just ask them about themselves and how they are doing, look at their photos to see what their lives are like, and ask them if i could join them. I guess i didnt realize talking to people was how you got to know them and become friends. I was so used to just bumping into people on campus and saying whats up and hanging out with them a bit here and there, but i guess whenever we split up i just forgot about them, eventually i stopped bumping into them. The thing is im a very outgoing and excited guy and i like to act “cool” around people and i like it when people treat me like im cool, and there were people that thought i was cool (though i guess they forgot about me anyways).
Essentially i just want to be cool with everyone, but in the end im not cool with anyone. I got so bored sitting in my room that i started talking to imaginary people aka fantasizing having fun interaction with people (even argued with people too in my head). It was a habit i had since i was a kid to fantasize a lot and talk to myself when i was bored or alone but it grew in intensity in college and those habits developed into a severe form. I got addicted to ruminating and thinking, i couldnt shut off my mind, i was constantly daydreaming and arguing with people in these hypothetical scenarios. I thought i was just bored so i went to the psychiatrist to see if i had ADHD, instead i started getting diagnosed with bipolar and schizophrenia and autism (for not having friends…). I tried telling them they were wrong and i was fine but they convinced my parents to force me on a ton of medications that made me so depressed that i gave up on medical school and school in general and i couldnt talk to people after that (been 7 years since on the antidepressants/antipsychotics). I dropped out because i couldnt convince my parents to get me off of them, didnt know what i wanted to do for a career, and couldnt meet new people or talk to them. Now i have been sitting at home alone for over 5 years as i dont know anyone in my hometown and i want to go back but my dads not letting me go back to college, so i just sit at home and just fantasize having a life and argue with people in my head. I dont feel like getting a job now because i have no degree and feel stupid for doing a minimum wage job so i just sleep my life away. I wish i had just used facebook in college and kept in touch and kept up to date on people’s lives and current events and never diagnosed myself with ADHD. I give up on life now.
Maybe you could work with a life coach and consider taking a class or two at community college. Your parents might be worried that full time sleep away college would be too challenging given your history of issues. You will have to show them that you are capable of making steps in a positive direction, even if they are small steady ones.
You need to show this to your parents and ask for help immediately. You need to talk to a therapist or psychologist because I believe you are depressed. Seven years of medication with no talk therapy is not helping you. Please ask for help today. You are a good person and you still have a lot to contribute to society. I also agree with the above. And find out if there is a support group near by,that’s a good place to meet people who might feel as you do. Best wishes.
Agree with the above.
- You've been working for a long time on helping yourself. That takes strength. Kudos to you. But now I think you need to ask others for help. In addition to a psychologist to talk to, I strongly suggest getting daily exercise, ideally first thing in the morning. If you want to exercise at night to relax, that's also a good time. Set a timer and go outside for 60 minutes a day to walk or run, whatever feels better. Exercise has been shown to improve depressive symptoms.
https://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/16/well/move/how-exercise-might-keep-depression-at-bay.html
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2016/03/16/meditation-plus-running-as-a-treatment-for-depression/
Thx everyone for the support it means a Iot just wonder what everyone thinks of all this happening to me because I didn’t use fb in college 
Nope. None of the folks your parents’ age had fb – sounds like you’re suffering from depression. Talk therapy + physical exercise will help a ton. Trust us!!
You are awesome and worth the investment in your health! Good luck!
I don’t think it’s just Fb, but that’s part of it.
I’m not a psychiatrist and I don’t know you at all, but the difficulties you are describing to me sounds very much like social communication disorder or high functioning autism/Aspergers.
What often happens is that people who have this wind up suffering with anxiety and depression in their teens and twenties because they want friends but have trouble making them.
And sometimes when they look for help with the anxiety and depression they can be misdiagnosed. It’s sad, but common.
But if someone does find out it’s something like social communication disorder, they can get help through therapy, social groups, etc.
I think it could be very worthwhile for you to try to find a specialist like a psychologist who really understands adults with social communication disorder or high functioning autism/Aspergers and talk to them about your experience and see what they say.
I wouldn’t stop medication without talking to your doctor, but I would definitely try to make your doctor understand the severity of your depression in case changes could be made that would help you feel better. Also see about therapy and start exercising.
Read things or watch videos about neurodiversity.
I believe there are lots of people out there who will think you are cool and appreciate you for who you are.