<p>Here, one month out wouldn’t be considered early… it would be late. Most of the guys start asking in late Feb/early March for our May prom. Heck, the girls can’t get a hair appt on prom day unless you book it way ahead. </p>
<p>Last year the president of the class (a popular guy) told all his friends to tell their friends that no one should start asking before our Feb vacation week. He said it was too far in advance, that things change too much in 3 months and it causes too much drama. They all agreed. The pact lasted one week. One guy broke ranks, and the next thing you know they all panicked that if they didn’t ask the girl they wanted to right away, someone else would. Male herd mentality.</p>
<p>Girls here start prom dress shopping in Jan and Feb, even though our proms are in May. The dress stores here keep a registry of which dresses have been purchased for which proms, they won’t sell the exact same dress to 2 girls attending the same prom. We bought D’s dress over Feb vacation (President’s day week). One local store we went to already had 20 girls attending our prom on their list of dresses that had been bought. D bought her dress at a big store about 45 minutes away, she was the 17th girl for her prom on their list. Again, that was about 10 weeks prior to our prom. (And we have 400 kids per grade, so there were a lot of girls going to this Junior Prom).</p>
<p>As for the fancy process to ask the girl, my D tells me that is somewhat of a tradition at her hs as well. Some guys buy flowers, one decorated a girl’s car, one made a poster… I don’t think most guys do that though. My S just called the girl and asked her.</p>
<p>When D2 was a junior, she had just started dating a guy a week or so prior to her having to go out of town (NYC) for a competition. While she was in NYC (I was there, too, as a sort of chaperone), at the hotel one evening, word got to me that concierge was on their way up to her room to deliver something to her. Problem was, it was after lockdown hours for the kids and they had been instructed not to open their doors for anything. Since I was down the hall in another room, she called me and said she didn’t know what was up, so I met the guy from concierge at her door in case any other parents saw her opening her door and ratted her out. As I came down the hall toward her door, I saw the concierge with a huge fluffy teddy bear in one hand, and a dozen red roses in a vase in another hand. You should have seen the look on her face when she opened the door. With the teddy bear was a note from her boyfriend, asking her to prom. Of course, her roommates were so jealous! We all kind of sat there with our jaws hitting the floor. </p>
<p>Later we found out that the boy had gotten permission from the choir director to do this prior to them leaving school, so she wouldn’t have gotten in trouble for opening the door… he already knew about it.</p>
<p>The roses were beautiful, but she had no way to transport them back home when they were done in NYC since they were taking the Amtrak train and she had all her luggage/costuming, etc. that she was responsible for. So I volunteered to bring them back since I was flying. We were flying out of Long Island/Islip (which is a tiny airport) and as I approached security, I realized the roses would not make it through the scanner standing up in the vase, so I had to go empty out the water in the bathroom, lay the roses down and send them through the scanner, then refill the vase and board the plane. Luckily the plane was rather empty and I had a whole row to myself. Instead of keeping the vase at my feet, the flight attendant told me to buckle them in on the seat next to me… which I did. I also took a picture of it, because I wanted documentation of everything I did to get those roses back home! To this day that teddy bear is her favorite (although the relationship barely made it through the summer… but they’re good friends now).</p>
<p>So yea, lots of planning went into this prom asking.</p>
<p>Sewhappy==are we sew-L mates? My son also went to a small private high school. One year, the girl he asked (just a friend) learned that another friend was crushed that DS, on whom she had a big crush, had not asked her. Date #1 engineered a switch so DS would take crush girl. Everyone had fun–no feelings hurt.</p>
<p>In our neck of the woods, how the asking is done is very, very important. It either has to be romantic, or big, or funny.</p>
<p>The senior daughter of my friend was asked in this way:</p>
<p>The boy was holding a big plastic dump truck, and in the back of the dump truck was an assortment of cinnamon rolls. He walks up to the girl, shows her the truck and asks, “Can I haul your buns to Prom?” She thought it was very funny, luckily.</p>
<p>My son is on the fence about prom this year. So he waits. He doesn’t really enjoy the dances, or the formality of it all, although he really enjoys the group of friends that always go. I’m trying hard not to apply pressure. I think his best (girl) friend has taken on that role, of finding him a date and making him ask her. <em>sigh</em></p>
<p>It sounds like there’s a lot of pressure for the boys if their invitation has to be a performance of sorts. That’s tough. In our area, a simple in-person invitation or phone call is perfectly wonderful.</p>
<p>That sounds both effective and mannerly. Several years ago, my S texted his prospective prom date. Yes, texted her! They were good friends, but I still was mortified. He knew better. In the end, I guess I got upset over nothing, because the girl texted back with one word…yes. They had a fun time and are still friends.</p>
<p>D has been teasing her BF of 1 1/2 years because he hasn’t formally invited her to his prom. He just assumes she’s going. She IS going with him, of course, but they were with 2 of his guy friends when the subject of prom came up a few weeks ago, and she told the friends that she didn’t know if she was going because no one had asked her yet. These two both immediately (jokingly) asked her to go with them, and since then they’ve had a running joke that she’s deciding which of the two of them to go with. I’m sure neither of these two will have a problem finding a real date though.</p>
<p>I have to say I find the whole big production invite thing a bit odd and inducing a lot of pressure. What if she says no??? It’s difficult enough for a 17yo boy to ask a girl out, much less come up with some kind of one-of-a-kind way of doing it.</p>
<p>I find the formality that some posters have described very odd. Here, most people who aren’t in relationships just go with a group of friends and give their spare ticket to a junior friend. No one “asks” anyone, really. And dresses don’t get bought til at least April, usually more like May (Prom is in early June). Corsages and guys matching their ties to their dates’ dress both exist, but they’re not nearly universal. Prom is just a fun time to dress up and be with your friends.</p>
<p>Battllo, he mentioned that to his date (I told him that’s what people did in my day), and she said “I don’t know anything about that.” LOL, I like this girl! I think he’ll do some version of a gray tux and stick with a gray/silver/black cummberbund.</p>
<p>I imagine matching boutennieres/corsages are in order. I’m pals with her mom so I imagine we can ensure neither of them looks too crazy.</p>
<p>Oh yes, the date’s bow tie and vest (and pocket square?) match or at least coordinate with the date’s dress. D is wearing peach, for the second time. Last year the BF wore a black tux with a peach bow tie and white vest. This year she was considering borrowing a friend’s aqua dress (since I refused to pay for another one) and her BF said, “What? But I look good in orange!” </p>
<p>Prom here includes a sit-down dinner and DJ, usually in a hotel ballroom or event facility. </p>
<p>Just saw a picture where a girl asked a boy in another grade to her prom - she wrote in huge letters on his driveway in sidewalk chalk (very colorful) - “John - Prom with me? Jane” I thought it was cute. I totally approve of the simple face-to-face or phone call ask too, though - it was all my son could manage at 17!</p>
<p>My D’s school is relaxed about the “dating” stuff also. She will be attending with one of her very best guy friends. She went with another guy friend last year. She has never had a “serious” boyfriend, just a lot of friends. I am good with this! Some of her group will be attending with other friends or just with the group.</p>
<p>Her school is not relaxed about the prom dress code or standards. They have a meeting for all of the parents whose kids are going to the prom. A parent must attend or no going to the prom. They talk about what is acceptable in terms of the dresses. NO…strapless, backless, clingy, slits, really short, cut too low… The students all have the meeting also. They also have an afterprom party that they promote heavily which, luckily for the kids, is a ton of fun. They have the kids change at the prom venue (ball room, full sit down dinner, dancing), then bus them to a local Dave and Buster’s. This keeps the kids from driving. If your student doesn’t want to go to the after prom, then their parents must pick them up and sign them out. Then, they bus them back to the school at 5:30am. A parent must pick them up there (so, no driving tired!). </p>
<p>All those requirements make a dress really hard to find. Often girls take the dress in to the school to see if it is acceptable. A few have been told “no”. I envy the boys parents. Although they do usually rent the tux with the matching color cumberbun (sp?) or vest and tie.</p>
<p>^^^ No kidding those limits would make it REALLY hard to find a dress! A majority of the dresses at our prom are strapless, but I wouldn’t call them revealing - a lot of them have the big poofy Cinderella-style skirts. The girls look like Disney Princesses. Much less “sexy” than the slinky cocktail-style ones with the cutouts in on the sides and no back, which are becoming more popular.</p>