dying dog advice

Parent Cafe
1

<p>As always, coming to the experts for advice from those who have been there.</p>

<p>Our beloved dog is dying. She’s old but had a good long life. She recently (3 months ago) had a cancer operation which we debated given her age, but vet thought she could live another 2-4 years given her health and general condition. She came through with flying colors. I was amazed at her recovery and her level of enthusiasm afterwards. She acted nearly 5 years younger than before the operation. They said the tumor was huge, but came out cleanly. There were no signs of any spread (no other growths, no bloodwork indicators, etc.).</p>

<p>Then 3 weeks ago, she suddenly decided to quit eating. . Nothing we offered makes her change her mind. She originally acted like she wanted to eat, but simply walked away, or spit out anything she tried. We tried all safe foods (dog, human, baby, broth, etc.) but nothing worked. Liked limited junk food and ice cream for awhile (my kind of dog!) Now she doesn’t try. Vet is stumped, but thinks her liver is shutting down or diseased, or that the cancer found another spot. She was on liver meds. for awhile but they didn’t work. We’ve decided to not take any more “extra-ordinary” measures this time (no more surgeries, no forced IV’s, etc.), and instead, focus on making her comfortable.</p>

<p>I do believe that animals have personalities, thoughts, and emotions, just perhaps not at the same level as humans. I KNOW this is a dog, not a human, but it is making me evaluate those “end-of’-life” issues, this time with a patient who has no say, and no way to express an opinion. It’s not like the movies, where they simply go off, lie down, and you know. </p>

<p>I’m so torn. Part of me says it’s “time” to put her down. She’s telling us in her way. That’s what responsible loving pet owners are supposed do. Vet keeps saying “we’ll know” when it is time. We don’t. We’re not keeping her around for us. It just seems like an executioner to say time’s up. She shows no signs of pain or prolonged discomfort. So far, she even acts almost peaceful. Vet says when it seems no longer fair to the dog. What’s “fair” for a dog? About 3 days ago, I thought she wouldn’t make it through the day, and then she perked up for limited periods and we took her for brief walks which she appeared to enjoy. Part of me says to allow her to live out her days with us, and hopefully die in peace at home (if we’re lucky). She is getting VERY thin, and showing signs of weakness, but still drinks, still walks (barely) , still goes outside to pee when she makes it, still wants to be with us. I’d hate to have someone decide it was my time if I still enjoyed the company of others. At the same time, I’m afraid we may be letting her suffer in silence, and that is heartwrenching.</p>

<p>Any vets in the group? Dog-lovers?</p>

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<p>This is hard. I’ve been there. Has the vet indicated she may be in pain? If she is eating, and at least drinking on a regular basis, and she is lucid, “with it”, in dog terms, and is not suffering, I’d take it day by day. I penned this a while back <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/4204908-post3.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/4204908-post3.html&lt;/a&gt;, perhaps it might help.</p>

<p>I wish you peace and comfort.</p>

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<p>Prednisone? It’s an amazing painkiller in dogs, a tumour suppressant, and one heck of an appetite stimulant as well. </p>

<p>If you think your dog is suffering, it’s time for a serious conversation with your vet.</p>

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<p>Awww, this makes me so sad. We had a (big) dog that lived two lifetimes for her breed. The last couple years she went through periods of not eating. Her back sagged, she was skinny, she was blind, she was deaf and once in awhile incontinent in her sleep. From running like a deer on the beach, now she would shuffle along like a senior. She was unable to jump into the car or get up the stairs to our bedroom where she used to sleep. Several times in the last two years we would ask the vet if we should let her go and the vet would say, “it’s not time, she’s not in pain and you’ll know.” Well one morning we came downstairs and she looked at us really, really differently and would not get up off the floor and did not move a muscle of happiness that we were there. We knew the moment had arrived. My advice is the same as the vet - you will know, you really will.</p>

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<p>Agree with momofthreeboys, one day they look at you and it is different. It is in the eyes. “It’s time to let me go.” As long as there is no pain, and you do know when they are in pain since they droop and whine if manipulated wrong. If she is doing as you say, she is OK with it for now.</p>

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<p>With a 14-year old dog, I rarely open threads like this, but when I saw ‘dying’ in the title, I decided to.</p>

<p>Although now might not be the time, I just want to make sure you know that when it is, and if she does not die at home, there are vets who will come to your home to euthanize your pet. When I first read about this (I work in the hospice industry), I knew that would be my choice when the time comes, so at our last vet’s visit, I asked about it. Although our vet’s practice does not offer this, they do have some vets they consult and work with who will. So if we ever have to make that decision, that’s what it will be… no ifs, ands or buts about it. I can’t imagine my dog’s last breaths taking place somewhere other than where she was loved most.</p>

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<p>oops…posted before reading recent posts, and just noted the one started by colclifmuir. If possible, perhaps this should be merged? If not, thanks readers for reading and replying to a second one. Colclifmuir, and Wis75…SO sorry! (and as another dog lover, I really do understand).</p>

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<p>Aw, I’m so sorry. :(</p>

<p>My golden of 13 years past away in January of this year, I still think about and miss her constantly. She grew up with me (had her since 2nd grade) and she saw me off to college. She was my best friend. </p>

<p>While at college my parents told me she wasn’t doing well. She had a tumor that was removed but was growing back rapidly. She was on anti-infection medicine but it became too much and burst and became infected anyway.</p>

<p>Anyway, while at school on my way home I had no idea how I would be able to end her life. But as soon as I saw her, I knew it was time. She was near lifeless, she didn’t want to eat, if she managed to get something down she threw it up later, she went to the the bathroom on herself. I don’t think anyone (human or animal) should have to live this way. If in her situation I would have wanted my life to end. I could tell she was in pain and if she wasn’t she would be because she would have eventually starved to death. When they put the needle in to put her down they couldn’t even find a vein that wasn’t collapsed, they had to try 3-4 times. It was awful, but I took some of her fur and have it saved along with a toy she liked, her collar, ashes, and a shelf in my room dedicated to her.</p>

<p>I think if your dog doesn’t enjoy doing things they once did (eating was a big one for my dog) then they probably aren’t enjoying their life much.</p>

<p>Its a very hard decision, I wish you (and your pup) the best.</p>

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<p>I am so sorry. My lab died of cancer at 9 years old - 26 years ago but it still brought tears to my eyes reading your post. I think the vet is probably right in saying you will know when it is time. Ours was poorly but still lovey and wagged her tail and loved to be petted. Then one day she was so ill and obviousy suffering that my Mum knew it was time. It still makes me sad that she had her put to sleep while I was at work and i did not get to give her a last hug.</p>

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<p>I’m so sorry to hear about your furry family member. I know how torn you are. I think you are doing the right things. Pets do know and tell you when the time comes. We had a cat who had a chronic condition. We pretty much knew that her time was up when she started eating less and less, and one day refused to take any food. The vets told us the same thing - keep her comfortable, offer her water, look for signs of pain… Kitty let us know that she wanted to die at home. She passed quietly in D’s arms as I was rushing home to say goodbye to her. I knew there was nothing we could do to keep her diabetic body going for a bit longer.</p>

<p>When our 10-yr old dog suddenly lost control of his rear legs, we rushed him to the vet. It was a long story which involved very sympathetic but not very experienced vets and some experienced but not very compassionate vets and some nasty hospital administrators; the dog was finally diagnosed with IVDD. Since the x-rays and MRI showed no hints of cancer and no hip probelms, and all of his tests were normal, we decided that he was a good candidate for spinal surgery (even at his age!), which was not in our budget and which involved a lot of risks and had approximately 50% chance of success. The dog looked into H’s eyes, and it was clear that he was telling my H “It is OK, I will pull through this!” We gave our pup a chance, and miracles do happen - the dog was able to walk on his own only three weeks after a massive spinal surgery! However, we were ready to say “no” to the expensive and unneccessary procedures in this worst case scenario (cancer or some other incurable condition).</p>

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<p>I have three old dogs, 16, 13 and 13ish. One is blind, with diabetes. We have our good days and our bad.</p>

<p>When I see people with super seniors, as I like to call them, we talk. Some have passed, some naturally and some with some assistance. Almost to a person, those that had to make that tough decision, all said they waited to long. That they held on for themselves, even though their pet was “gone”. Dogs are very stoic, and we really don’t know how much pain they are in. We have talked as a family and the decision will be left to me. </p>

<p>We have decided not to do anything heroic for any of the dogs. Sometimes the cure is worse than the illness. </p>

<p>I have located a vet, not our own, who does alot of work with resecue dogs, and seem to be very empathetic when it comes to making the decision to let them go.</p>

<p>We rescued an old dog, told she was 8, but was closer to 12ish. After about 5 months, she just stopped. She would get better, then slip back further. I laid on the floor with her, and it was time. Took her to the vet, they said she was in what they called a “critical down”. Her legs were gone. She wouldn’t eat anything. So, holding her in my arms, sitting on the floor, they gave her the injection. It was tough, but it happened so peacefully and it was so right.</p>

<p>My suggestion is to make decisions now about who will go when its time, what to do with the body (this is crucial to know before hand so you won’t make a decision in a panic and between tears). Also, let family know what is going to happen, that they may not be able to make it back if you have to rush to the vet. Also take some pictures now. They will be priceless. </p>

<p>I met a woman at the park who was going to take her dog in to let her go. ( i wish there was a better phrase than put down or euthanize- I like taking them to the rainbow bridge). She had made the appointment for that Firday, and everyday took her sweet old dog to the park to lay in the sun. She said that it was beyond the time she should have taken her in, and she saw now that the dog was indeed in pain, but was hiding it well. I took some pictires of the two of them. </p>

<p>Yes, you will make the decision, and then have a "good day’. That doesn’t mean the decision was wrong.</p>

<p>take care and don’t second guess yourself.</p>

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<p>Whst I have told my family, was that it may be where they aren’t home and I have to take one of the dogs in. So take each day, and pay extra attention, give that extra belly rub, and while I hope that everyone has a chance to say goodbye, the dog’s comfort is more important.</p>

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<p>We put down a 16 year old dog with a life expectancy of 10-12 years. She had even been run over by a car the prior year (deaf) and had a nasty burn to heal, but still she seemed ‘fine’</p>

<p>When the time came, we knew, we just could tell. As long as she is happy to see you, it is probably not time yet. The dog was in/on my lap when she went down and I have never regretted that whereas my DH could not stand to be there- to each his own, but i have always been glad I held her as she left.</p>

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<p>We’ve been through this too many times during decades of dear dogs. A good friend who is also a veterinarian has euthanized some at home when they reached the point where you find yourselves. </p>

<p>If that isn’t possible, something else the vet has done for us is to prescribe a strong sedative we could give the dog so he/she could go to sleep at home, then be transported to the clinic and the rainbow bridge. One who was very frail when we did this went to sleep and quietly passed away on the ride to the clinic. Sometimes it truly is kinder to let them go.</p>

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<p>So many furry loved ones moving on these days. Having had to say good bye to one myself, I feel for all of you. I don’t look forward to the day I have to say good bye to "Just"aDog.</p>

<p>Hugs to all.</p>

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<p>I’m so sorry to read your post, OP. </p>

<p>Does she still wag? I think might tell you a lot. {{hugs}}</p>

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<p>My dog passed away in June, he was nearly 15. It was his time. He was diabetic and had been blind for a long time-- though up til the last few months it didn’t seem to bother him. We spent several years questioning whether it was his time as his condition gradually worsened, and right when he seemed on deaths door he’d perk up so we kept him longer. At the time it felt like I needed it but in retrospect I don’t think it was fair to him and I felt guilty. Does one really need to wait until EVERY day is a bad day before we accept that it’s time? For a human i think we are more likely to consider the severity of the discomfort, and whether it is getting worse instead of better. </p>

<p>You write this:</p>

<p>“What’s “fair” for a dog? About 3 days ago, I thought she wouldn’t make it through the day, and then she perked up for limited periods and we took her for brief walks which she appeared to enjoy. Part of me says to allow her to live out her days with us, and hopefully die in peace at home (if we’re lucky). She is getting VERY thin, and showing signs of weakness, but still drinks, still walks (barely) , still goes outside to pee when she makes it, still wants to be with us. I’d hate to have someone decide it was my time if I still enjoyed the company of others. At the same time, I’m afraid we may be letting her suffer in silence, and that is heartwrenching.”</p>

<p>She is dropping weight, sounds like she is underweight. She is weak, and barely walks? Can’t make it outside to pee anymore. She may have some months yet, but you need to understand if you prolong the inevitable it may not be that she will die in peace, so don’t cling to her for that-- your only guarantee of that is putting her to sleep. My dog passed when he began having seizures in the night. I know you don’t want to hear this, but he was convulsing so violently that he flew out of his bed and started smacking his head against the wall-- we could do nothing but hold a cushion between him and the wall to protect him and wipe his mouth until the vet’s office opened so we could take him to be put to sleep. We shouldn’t have waited that long. Even down to the end he wagged his tail between seizures and took treats, but our vet told us he’d most likely suffered a stroke in the night. Both him and the family deeply suffered by the way that he did end up passing You may still have some time before you have to make a decision, but be honest with yourself and wait too long. One thing we loved about our vet through it all was that he was very honest with us about whether or not Max was comfortable if we directly asked him if we were doing the wrong thing. We were told two years before that it may just be his time and to prepare ourselves for when it comes. Once we heard that we put our guards up and looked for every good day, trying to ignore the bad, when in fact we needed to do the opposite.</p>

<p>In the end only you will ever know what you will be able to live with. I remember being in the exact predicament, being afraid of taking his life from him when he still wanted to live. But a dog can’t tell you when they’re in pain-- they will fight it and hide it from you to be with you because they love you, dogs are wonderful creatures. You need to keep a level head and be her advocate. As long as you always remember to do that, you can’t make the wrong choice.</p>

<p>Hang in there. It’s tough but you’ll make it. I would advise you ask your vet how they see this ending for your dog. Your decision to put her down when you see decline is the only control over the terms of her death you have, so maybe when you hear where she is most likely heading it will help you know what to do. Had our vet warned us that he could stroke and start having such severe seizures I really honestly don’t think we’d have waited so long. I never imagined his passing would be that bad.</p>

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<p>TwistedxKiss - you made me cry.</p>

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<p>Me too. :frowning: It’s been two months, almost three, and it’s finally gotten a little better. Every time there is a thunderstorm I feel a little bit better because I know he’d have been scared and he was just too old for that anymore, and I feel better about leaving for school knowing I don’t have to worry about him passing while I was gone-- I would never have forgiven myself. With how horrendously painful it’s been, we had that dog from when I was in kindergarten to my junior year of college, I am surprised how quickly it has gotten better. It will be okay.</p>

<p>I have been spending lots of extra time at my humane society since then. I thought maybe being around the dogs would upset me, but going and seeing all the happy little puppies actually helped a lot. One life ends and more begin every day, just like with humans life goes on.</p>

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<p>I’m sorry. I’ve been there with a cat not too long ago. We all cried when we had her put to death. But in retrospect, I wish I had done it sooner. She really suffered that last week and I was too blind to see it. She was given a tranquilizing shot at first that gave her more peace than she had had in a while. While asleep in my son’s arms with the rest of us around them, the second shot was then given. She went so gently. I am tearing up as I type this.</p>