<p>I heard this being discussed on CNN and had to see if he was being misquoted or taken out of context. Not really. His advice to college students to reduce their alcohol consumption and to take their sexual relationships more seriously is fine in and of itself. But to link these two ideas to the prevention of sexual assault is uninformed and misguided. I think back to the Rolling Stone article about Jackie at UVA - and see no connection whatsoever. I don’t believe his intention was to blame the victim, but many are taking it that way.</p>
<p>It’s totally blaming the victim. Eastman later said: </p>
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<p>He has cause to be worried. Just this week the president of Lincoln University Robert Jennings was forced to resign after saying in September – at an all-woman convocation, no less:</p>
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<p>Further demonstrating his sensitivity to the issue of sexual assault, Jennings advised the assembled women that false rape allegations can ruin a young man’s life.</p>
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<p>Which sounds remarkably similar to Eastman’s remarks.</p>
<p>Jennings comments are outrageous, but I actually do think some of Eastman’s remarks are useful. Some of the situations are muddy - situations where the individuals are intoxicated and both lack the ability to determine if sexual activity is consensual. Alcohol robs you of the ability to make good judgements. Men and women. Less alcohol would increase good judgement. It’s so hard to write about this because I know folks will read this and pick things apart and find messages in there that I am not saying. I am not saying that rape is okay. Rape, sexual assualt, sexual harrassment is NEVER OKAY. But inebriated males and females will do things that they may later regret, and may hurt people because they are too drunk to be aware that they are doing so. It is wise counsel to tell your sons and daughters to drink moderately, be aware of their surroundings, and take care of each other.</p>
<p>What can this possibly mean? What can it possibly mean that a woman is so drunk that she can’t tell if she is consenting? It doesn’t mean anything-- there is no such situation. I agree that a woman who consents might, later, not remember the events, but there is no such thing as consenting and not knowing you are consenting-- that is not consent.</p>
<p>That goes for the guy too. No person, male or female, can consent without knowing they are consenting. </p>
<p>It is possible that a person, most likely a male but could be a female, is so drunk that they don’t know whether the other person is consenting. If they proceed anyway, then either they are lucky and the other person did consent, or they just raped the other person.</p>
<p>If you mean, “Don’t get so drunk you rape someone,” then say it in so many words, and say it to men. </p>
<p>As the parent of an Eckerd college freshman, I have no problems with Eastman’s e-mail or comments.</p>
<p>Nor do I think any rape victim brought it on herself or got what she had coming.</p>
<p>ETA Eastman has done a ton (of good) for Eckerd. If he’s forced out over this, that would NOT be good IMO and we’d have some serious thinking to do about the future.</p>
<p>I think that some of these admins have a vested interest in linking casual sex with rape so that it takes less pressure on them to deal with the latter problem. Obviously drinking less alcohol and being healthy is good, but these folks often have trouble acknowledging that not all rape victims (or rapists) were drunk at the time. On some level they are uncomfortable with the fact that bad things can happen to people even if they take care of themselves and are aware of their surroundings, so they are overeager to push much of the responsibility for managing sexual violence on the person with the smallest platform to speak out.</p>
<p>I think you have hit on something that is usually described as blaming the victim. We all want to view ourselves or our children as being safe. So when something happens, there can be a knee-jerk reponse to determine why it happened - and assure yourself that you or your children would never do such a silly thing or make such a poor decision - and therefore - we are safe - that bad thing cannot and will not happen to us. I have been guilty of this myself and I never viewed it as blaming the victim per se, I was just reassuring myself. Reading the Rolling Stone piece opened my eyes and I would imagine I’m not alone.</p>
<p>I agree that Eastman’s advice is fine - but it is not deterring or addressing the issue of rape. If I say to my fictional daughter - minimize your drinking and avoid casual sex and you will be safe from the threat of rape - that is not reality. </p>
<p>Here’s a follow up e-mail sent to Eckerd students:</p>
<p>Dear Students,</p>
<p>Thank you for your candid responses, both critical and positive, to the email I sent Sunday. I am listening. My primary objective was to motivate a broader conversation of sexual assault and the social culture on our campus—and that is certainly happening.</p>
<p>It is apparent that there have been extraordinary misunderstandings about my views, no doubt because I tried to take on three complex topics with a brief email. It is difficult to explore such issues via email, so I look forward to meeting with you in a forum at 3 p.m. next Thursday (December 4) in Fox Hall. I hope that further discussion of these very complicated topics, which I initially addressed in an email to the community on November 5, will move us forward and reflect the values of discourse in an academic community, especially mutual respect and creative collaboration. Please join me.</p>
<p>Sincerely,
Donald R. Eastman III
President</p>
<p>According to my guy, the media has blown quite a bit out of proportion too (regarding student reaction) - not that they would ever do such a thing, of course.</p>
<p>But overall, having discussions about it all and how to make/keep campuses safe is a good thing IMO.</p>
<p>I actually do have a huge issue with his statements. Unless you are a religious college, you have no business telling your students what they “should” do in their private lives provided they aren’t hurting anyone. </p>
<p>This is “slut”-shaming, pure and simple. Just because he’s directing it at both men and women, doesn’t make it any better: </p>
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<p>It is NOT the business of a college to determine whether or not casual sex is “virtuous”. Some of us like sex. Some of us do not believe it is “impure” to have sex and to have sex a lot. As long as you are doing it with the consent of all involved (and all are adults) and take good care of your health, carry on. It’s your business, not theirs, and it should never, * ever * be tied to rape. </p>
<p>In the research I’m currently doing, I’m digging through court documents from rape cases from the early 20th century. In many of them, the man was excused if he could prove that the woman was “promiscuous.” In calmer and more PC words, Eastman is doing the same thing. If there was no connection, in his mind, between sexual assault and casual sex, he wouldn’t even think to include it in an email about sexual assault. </p>
<p>As for virtuous equating to happier and healthier, give me a break. I won’t even touch that part of it. </p>
<p>Creekland - I’m glad to see the planned forum - perhaps the first of several. This should be taking place on every college campus.</p>
<p>romani - I’m probably on the conservative end of the spectrum with regards to casual sex - but I respect your point of view and agree that his linkage of casual sex and sexual assault was unfortunate. </p>
<p>“It is NOT the business of a college to determine whether or not casual sex is “virtuous”. Some of us like sex. Some of us do not believe it is “impure” to have sex and to have sex a lot. As long as you are doing it with the consent of all involved (and all are adults) and take good care of your health, carry on. It’s your business, not theirs, and it should never, ever be tied to rape.”</p>
<p>I have no <em>problem</em> with mutually consenting adults having casual sex – their business, not mine – but it is *stupid * not to pretend that seeking out or being open to sex in casual, non-committed contexts doesn’t increase the risk of putting yourself in situations where you are raped, relative to reserving sex to the context of a committed relationship. Have some common sense already. </p>
<p>The very idea of casual sex can be a bad idea just from the practical avoiding-bad-situations standpoint, and it has nothing to do with morality.</p>
<p>Maybe most rapes on his campus happen when either the woman is drunk or the woman is alone in a room with someone she has just met and is being physical with, so his statements reflect reality. </p>
<p>I don’t think most rapes on campus do happen between a woman and a man she has just met. I think on campus, they happen between a woman and a man that she already knows.</p>
<p>The casual sex part he probably should have left out with a “live and let live” mentality. However, I’m not offended that he has his views even if they differ from mine. I suspect there are plenty of college profs and presidents who have views (on many subjects) that differ from mine and they likely voice them a time or two (or more). I don’t need to dethrone anyone from their job because they don’t exactly share my views on a subject like that! I trust my own guys (all college age or older now) can figure out their own views as they wish in spite of hearing all sorts of differing views from others.</p>
<p>Mentioning the over consumption of alcohol (and drugs) at college preceding many unfortunate events seems like pointing out the obvious to me - sort of like the Emperor’s New Clothes.</p>
<p>In no way does it imply to me that it’s victim blaming in all rape cases nor do I think he meant it that way.</p>
<p>However, in the UVA case, if the guys in that case hadn’t been drunk, would they have still done what they did? Who knows? But many of these things (on college campuses) happen when one or both parties are drunk. To me, that’s his point.</p>
<p>Why shouldn’t he try to encourage students to change OR set up more protective plans for all involved if they wish to party till they drop? </p>
<p>"I actually do have a huge issue with his statements. Unless you are a religious college, you have no business telling your students what they “should” do in their private lives provided they aren’t hurting anyone.</p>
<p>This is “slut”-shaming, pure and simple. Just because he’s directing it at both men and women, doesn’t make it any better:"</p>
<p>Sure he can. He can encourage behaviors that are safer, such as not drinking to excess and having sex in the context of relationships. What, is that “drunk-shaming”? </p>
<p>“In the research I’m currently doing, I’m digging through court documents from rape cases from the early 20th century. In many of them, the man was excused if he could prove that the woman was “promiscuous.” In calmer and more PC words, Eastman is doing the same thing. If there was no connection, in his mind, between sexual assault and casual sex, he wouldn’t even think to include it in an email about sexual assault.”</p>
<p>But there is a connection between casual sex and sexual assault. Duh. Any idiot could see the connection.</p>
<p>If I go to a party looking for a guy to take home, the chances are higher that I’ll inadvertently put myself in a situation where a guy misinterprets or ignores my “stop right there”. That does not EXCUSE a rape even if the girl was the town slut. It’s no different from saying that if I get drunk, it’s more likely I’ll fall down and break my arm, or get hit by a car because I misjudged the traffic, than if I remained sober. </p>
<p>I recognize it’s oh-so-cool-and-naughty to use the buzzword “slut shaming,” though. </p>
<p>We cannot “pre-know” who rapists are, or realistically expect to ever wipe them out. So we have to protect ourselves from them. His advice is no different from admonishing people to lock their doors to protect from theft. It doesn’t mean it is their <em>fault</em> when their stuff gets stolen. It just acknowledges that we cannot stop thieves from stealing, so we should act accordingly to prevent them from victimizing us. </p>
<p>Rape is a crime. Blaming the victim when a crime is committed is not appropriate. </p>
<p>However, Eastman is discussing reducing the incidence of this crime, not who is at fault. Asking students to be part of the solution isn’t necessarily blaming them or shirking the college’s responsibility. The college can take steps too. Yes, he should have addressed men as well, but there are steps that both can take to help keep safe. </p>
<p>One issue with casual sex is that sex occurs in private with someone who may not be well known to the partner. A woman who chooses to have casual sex still deserves to be safe and while it is impossible to control what someone else does ( and she should not be blamed for that) she can take precautions to stay that way. Alcohol increases this risk because it may cloud her perception of how safe that situation is. </p>
<p>Victims are not to blame for a crime against them. However, if it is possible to reduce a crime, then it makes sense to take steps to do this. Eastman is asking students to be aware of this risk.</p>