<p>We certainly never expected our D to move home after college. Her goal has always been to “explore every continent” and she lived and worked in China for half a year while an undergrad, in addition to several other abroad experiences. Certainly she was no homebody.</p>
<p>However, it so happens that we live in the suburbs of a major metro area (Philly). When D graduated from college in '06 she was interviewing for jobs in Boston, NYC, DC and Baltimore in addition to our area (Philadelphia). It turned out that the best fit job for her was in our area. This outcome was a total surprise to all of us, but it then seemed silly for her to rent an apartment 20 minutes from our home. To be honest, I was not expecting or wild about this turn of events (liked having that empty room ;)) but it turned out to be a very positive experience. </p>
<p>It was like living with a different person than the one who had lived here in high school. She was so evolved and personally developed, but she was also very busy, between a demanding job and her social life – and occasional travel to those additional continents she wanted to explore! – so that she was not hanging out at home much. But we enjoyed her when she was here. </p>
<p>It was also nice because D got to be here for her brother’s senior year in high school, and she appreciated being a part of that. </p>
<p>We had no curfew, etc. and she spent numerous weekends with friends. All we asked was that she let us know whether or not she should be expected home, so we would not worry.</p>
<p>A bonus for us as parents was that this D, who had not dated much in high school, was dating after college (her field is predominantly male) and we got to spend time with and come to know several guys she dated by spending casual time with them when they would come by. We would not have had this had D lived in another city. Yes, we could have** met** guys she was dating, but not gotten to know some of them as well as we did.</p>
<p>However, I would not have wanted the arrangement to last longer than the three years it did. I am very glad though that D saved a substantial nest egg which she can take to wherever she locates once finished with grad school.</p>
<p>Anyhow, I just wanted to express that although D’s choice to do this was voluntary, rather than forced by economic challenges, it can be a very positive experience all around. </p>
<p>As with so many things, there are LOTS of variables and what works well for one family may not work for another. It is all about choices and different choices can be good in different ways.</p>
<p>I do feel bad for families whose location is such that they know the odds are against their kids ever living in their area again. It is simply not a choice for kids whose career goals can’t be met locally. I know that does not mean they can’t be psychologically close, especially with online and other communications, but it is still nice to actually be able to spend time together casually, without the hassle of travel and planning. It was not a factor we considered when deciding where to live and bring up a family, but it certainly has been an unanticipated bonus of our location.</p>
<p>I grew up in NYC (Manhattan) and lived at home for six months after college and then got my own apartment, but was still both living and working in Manhattan. So I guess I have been spoiled by always living in a large metro area to which kids often do return to pursue their careers. It was the exception for kids I knew to relocate from the NYC area after college and I am one of the few in my own family who eventually moved as far as a couple of hours away. My siblings and cousins remained in the NYC area. So I think a LOT depends on where these kids were raised and what opportunities are available locally. It would be interesting to do a study on return rates factoring in where the kids were raised.</p>