<p>I was wondering if someone could edit my short essay, or offer suggestions. Thank YOu!</p>
<p>Prompt:
Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum). </p>
<p>When I received the call informing me that I had been selected to serve on the Washington State Board of Education as a Student Representative, I was elated. Hours of preparation and sleepless nights endured during the selection process had paid off. Only one exceptional student is selected from the state of Washington each year to serve a two year term. I was selected and tasked to represent Washington’s students on the board with fourteen Governor appointed members including the Superintendant of Public Instruction. As a group, we discuss policy issues regarding education and the reform of K-12 education.</p>
<p>The meetings, of which I am an integral part, are often broadcasted live so that the public can witness the discussion of educational issues including the passage of the new set of graduation requirements. I often make presentations to the board members, speak out about the student’s views, and provide details to the members about what really happens within our classrooms.</p>
<p>Maybe just throw in a wrap-up sentence about how important it is to you, what you’ve learned, etc. etc. Other than that, you look like quite the boss, sir.</p>
<p>I would say to make it more vivid and for you to demonstrate how it impacted you, because you speak of the event but not of what it has done for you. As for the ending like the person before me said wrap it up. </p>
<p>Sent from my VM670 using CC App</p>
<p>You use the word “selected” 3 times in the first paragraph so I removed one. There is more about what the board does than your actual involvement. How are you an integral part of the meetings?</p>
<p>When I received the call informing me that I had been selected to serve on the Washington State Board of Education as a Student Representative, I was elated. Hours of preparation and sleepless nights endured during the selection process had paid off. Only one exceptional student is selected from the state of Washington each year to serve a two year term. I was tasked to represent Washington’s students on the board with fourteen Governor appointed members including the Superintendant of Public Instruction. As a group, we discuss policy issues regarding education and the reform of K-12 education.</p>
<p>During the meetings, which are often broadcasted, I __________ and ______<strong><em>. My duties also include making presentations to the board members, speaking out about the student’s views, and providing feedback to the members about what really happens within our classrooms. This experience has been invaluable to me because </em></strong>.</p>