<p>Would anyone be willing to edit my essay? It’s about a page long. Thanks!</p>
<p>Someone may be willing to read and comment on your essay but editing is the writer’s job!</p>
<p>Sure, I’ll give it a look. PM me.</p>
<p>Hey thisisspartaaa, I’ll help review.</p>
<p>–edit–
You took an interesting approach in regards to stylistic elements, structure, and flow, and accomplished the purpose of the admissions essay: to prove that you can write and to illustrate something about yourself that can’t be captured within the application. There seems to be some symbolism that needs to be elaborated upon as I denoted later in my “notes while I was reading” ie the train at the end and the window. you might even need to explicitly state what the train represents.</p>
<p>I’ve sent a thorough critique with revisions to your inbox, let me know if you have any other questions.</p>