edit please! divorced parents, letter to finance office

Paying for College
1

<p>Hey,</p>

<p>I could really use some help editing the following letter.
Basically, my parents are divorced. My dad makes a lot of money, my mom makes next to none. I really need the financial aid offices to focus on my mom’s information because my dad will be providing absolutely no money to me for my college costs.
So I wrote this letter just to explain my financial circumstances a bit.</p>

<p>Dear ___ Office of Financial Aid,</p>

<pre><code> I am writing regarding my financial aid application for the 2010-2011 Academic Year. _____ College is my number one choice. Unfortunately, (even with in state tuition – for w & m and uva), based on the documents I submitted, I don’t believe I will be rewarded enough financial aid to make attending ____ a feasible option.

I am under the impression that my father’s high income will significantly reduce my chances of getting a sufficient aid package. My parents divorced in November of 2005 and my mother won custody of me, my younger brother, and my older brother. The divorce was only finalized after months of meetings concerning child support and alimony between my parents, their lawyers, various mediators, and eventually, a judge.

My father and I have always had a very contentious relationship. Our relationship worsened considerably when he moved to Korea immediately following the divorce. He returned to the U.S. in June of 2008 and remarried in September of the same year. Our weak relationship has always made him incredibly unwilling to help me financially, but the recent purchases of a car for himself, a car for his wife, and a new home has made the situation even direr. In addition to this, my father is under no legal obligation to help support me. To be quite frank, I have never been a priority in my father’s life. Another thing to be aware of is that my father only recently began earning his current income. Before retiring from the military in 2005, the most my father ever made annually was $44k, which is not a substantially high income for a family of five

The bottom line is that I will not be receiving a single penny from my father while I attend college; I will be supporting myself using the limited amount of money my mother can afford to give me.

I recognize that ____ University has a limited amount of aid that it can give to its students, but I would also like to make sure that ____ University understands my financial circumstances. My father’s financial situation is completely independent of mine. The only money that I will ever receive from my father is the mandated child support, which will stop as soon as I graduate from high school this June. This amount is already reflected in my mother’s financial documents, and as such, it is imperative that only my mother’s financial situation is reviewed when deciding upon an aid package for me.

Please take this letter into consideration when reviewing my financial aid application. I have worked incredibly hard these past four years to earn acceptance at a top notch institution and it would be devastating to have to pass up on a premier college experience due to financial issues. Thank you for your time.
</code></pre>

<p>Many thanks,
my name.</p>

2

<p>The letter is fine. I don’t know if it will help, but it can’t hurt to try. So, were you required to submit a CSS Profile and the non-custodial parent information? Is that how they have the information about your father’s income and assets?</p>

3

<p>UNfortunately, the problem is that UVA will review the income and assets of your custodial parent (your mom) in addition to your non-custodial parents (your dad and his new wife, your stepmom) and use that information in which to base your FA aid.</p>

<p>While William and Mary only considers your custodial parent’s income. Based on your mom’s EFC, perhaps you will be eligible for federal aid. Will you be eligible for state aid or any other state incentives?</p>

4

<p>Yes, I was required to submit the CSS profile to every college I applied to besides UVA and William and Mary. (Duke, WashU, Cornell, and Emory)</p>

<p>Every college besides William and Mary got my non-custodial parent’s information, so I’m hoping that this letter will help my case. If not, it was at least worth a shot.</p>

<p>With my mom’s EFC of 4009, I believe i am eligible for federal aid.
How do i seek state aid?</p>

5

<p>^^^</p>

<p>Are you saying that UVa didn’t require you to submit your dad’s info?</p>

<p>How come your mom’s EFC is so high if she barely has any earnings?</p>

6

<p>I wouldn’t consider an EFC of 4009 high. With that, clkremer, you will get a partial Pell award. That’s something. I don’t know about your state, but in the state where I live, the state funding is automatic with filing the FAFSA. You don’t need to do anything additional for it. However, the income thresholds are lower, so even students who get some Pell grant funds, won’t necessarily qualify for state aid. This will vary by state though.</p>

<p>With your EFC you will also probably get offered some sub and unsub loans, as well as work study from the federal gov’t.</p>

<p>Of course, that doesn’t address the issue of your father’s income for the schools that take that into consideration also. It won’t change your eligibility for the Pell and other federal aid, but it will influence how much the schools will consider available to you from his resources when it comes time to distribute their own institutional funds.</p>

<p>Good luck to you.</p>

7

<p>UVA didn’t require me to submit the CSS, but I still had to send my dad’s income tax returns.</p>

<p>my mom does get child support (which, like i said, will stop this coming June) and alimony.</p>

<p>my mom’s EFC of 4009 is fine, i can manage paying for college with that. If I had to include my dad’s income (which, even taking out the child support and alimony he pays, is over 100 k), i would not be able to manage paying for college.</p>

8

<p>'rentof2 thanks for the information about the state funding!</p>

9

<p>As hard as it is, you should take the step of informing your dad of what your reality is. </p>

<p>It could be: Dad, You may not realize this, but colleges count your income when figuring out the amount of financial aid they will supply to me. The colleges believe that a father will contribute to a son’s education. I am writing to the colleges to explain that you are under no legal obligation to support me and have chosen not to. At the same time, they are rigid in their own policies and it looks like I will have to finance my college through loans. </p>

<p>College is different these days. Costs have gone up every year. It used to be that a kid could work part time and earn enough to pay tuition and room and board. Today the tuition and room and board cost $XX,XXX a year and I simply cannot work enough hours to pay that myself. </p>

<p>I am between a rock and a hard place. It terrifies me to take out $XX,XXX in loans each year for four years. I am looking for scholarships. In these tough economic times, so is everyone else. If you can contribute to my education, it would be appreciated.
Bob.</p>

<p>So, it is informative. It is not nasty. It lays out your options. It is worth a try. You are not the same person you were last time you saw your dad. He has changed also. Perhaps you can start a new phase (perhaps not, but a polite, informative letter is an effort to do so).
Good luck</p>

10

<p>I actually have tried that approach with my dad. He’s saying that it’s not his reluctance to help pay, it’s that he can’t. This is partially true. In the last two years, he’s bought two cars and a house (he bought all of these with no downpayment) and he insists that he really can’t afford to help pay. Hopefully this situation will change in a couple of years as he saves more.
He also says that since I’ll be pursuing medical school, I’ll be graduating with a lot of debt anyways, so I might as well just accrue as much debt as I’ll need.</p>

11

<p>(and i’m actually a girl)</p>

12

<p>Ok, Bobbette then. </p>

<p>I suspect that maybe he is reluctant to pay. Not that he can’t contribute even a nickel. All you can do is be frank. Let him know your situation and what the colleges expect. I think I 'd have to say “Dad, lots of parents drive ancient heaps and live in sheds so that their kids can get an education. I don’t want you to live in a dumpster, but isn’t there anything you can contribute?” Even if it’s just books and coffee money, that still is money you don’t have to borrow and pay interest on.</p>

13

<p>I really don’t like that “might as well accrue as much debt as I’ll need.”
Think of that as having a few pounds of jiggle to conquer: “Might as well eat like a pig for four years. You’ll be going on a diet eventually anyway.” Far better to say “a little prudent work now makes four years from now a healthy, happy life.”</p>

14

<p>I also don’t agree with the “might as well accrue as much debt as I’ll need,” but that’s how he put it.
At this point though my main concern is just whether colleges will focus on just my mom’s income, which I’m hoping my letter will persuade them to do.</p>

<p>We’ll see how it goes. I’ll definitely discuss this more with my dad once i get more information about my financial aid packages. I’m hoping for some merit scholarships and my national merit scholarship to come through for me too.</p>

15

<p>Hello clkremer,</p>

<p>I am guessing that your mom will still receive alimony and child support for the other children, though, after June?</p>

<p>I think you should write or call a financial aid officer at William & Mary (I hope you are in state) and discuss this with them, making sure that only your mom’s income will be considered for FA purposes. Perhaps they will give you an idea of what aid is likely to come your way. </p>

<p>As for the other schools, you can only wait for their FA packages to arrive and then when you have the offers, you can make a decision. I do not think your father can be reasonably counted on to contribute to your education, but this should not stop you. Although it is late, you might look at a financial safety, too, or a school that might give you some merit aid, such as Longwood, which has rolling admissions. </p>

<p>Best of luck to you. Your dad is wrong about accruing debt.</p>

16

<p>Wait…you’re an NMF? Did you apply to any schools that will give you a free ride (or nearly a free ride)??? If not, why not???</p>

<p>If you’re going to be a doctor, then you don’t need to go to a tier one school and go into debt. You can go to a mid-tier, get good grades, do well on your MCATs and get accepted to med school.</p>

<p>where all did you apply? If you didn’t apply to a school that will give you a free ride, there may still be some that will offer one to you. PM me.</p>

<p>Also, your dad doesn’t know this, but you can “max out” with Stafford loans for med school if you borrow for undergrad. The max you can borrow for combined undergrad and med school for Stafford is $224,000. That $224,000 is what you’ll need for med school. That doesn’t leave much for undergrad.</p>

17

<p>It may not be too late for you to get a NMF big scholarship. You may need one if you’re planning on debt for med school.</p>

18

<p>Wow. Nobody wants to make hard choices here. Dad doesn’t want to contribute and student doesn’t want to go where college is paid for (NMF gives you a full berth at a number of fine schools). </p>

<p>Double Generation Me? Sorry, that sounds mean, but, wow, you’ve got options and it seems like you want the financial aid office to solve your problems.</p>