Editing my essay?

<p>Hi! Here’s my UChicago supplement essay for the “pick any present you have ever received and invent a past for it” prompt.
Could someone look it over and give me some feedback before I submit it? My parents want me to submit this today but I really want to get an outside opinion on it first. Thanks so much! :)</p>

<p>Baby Sophia played on the marshmallow-textured carpet in their living room, toys sprawled everywhere. She was surrounded by her parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents who were all uttering cute baby sounds to her. “Awwwww! …Oooh oooh ahh ahhhh! …So cute!” “Look at those bright blue eyes! And those tiny, smooth fingers!” said Grandma Ann. “I wonder what she’ll be like when she grows up… will she be more like her mom or her dad?”
Out of nowhere, a cousin sitting nearby says, “I wonder what those people in her head are doing? Are they teaching her how to talk yet?” The room falls silent in astonishment and curiosity of the bizarre statement. Well, is this statement actually bizarre? What if there really were microscopic beings in our minds, angelic creatures who instruct newborn babies of the ways of human life when they enter the world? What if babies didn’t learn speech, movements, and the meanings of words through mere observation? What if babies actually had helpers in their heads who in a sense, direct the traffic of sensations?</p>

<p>Back in Sophia’s head:
Broca and Wernicke are the two language fairies who are in charge of the whole operation.
“Hey Broca, we’re getting a signal! It looks like someone is smiling at Sophia.”
“Yeah, we should have Sophia smile back.” [Broca sends messages to Sophia’s brain coding for a smile]<br>
"And look, they’re showing her a rubber ducky and saying “ducky”. Wernicke, add “ducky” to the list of things we have to teach her next!”
“Okay, I’m on it!”
[When the language fairies have a moment to spare, they teach their disciple various words encountered throughout the day.]
[To teach, they use a special signal that is only used for babies. It presents a picture of an object or causes the baby to feel a certain way and sends a particular word sound to the baby’s brain. Next, a signal is sent which is responsible for associating the two, thus broadening the baby’s vocabulary.]</p>

<p>Incoming message from Broca and Wernicke: Add the following to today’s list of words to teach: toy, finger, food, ball, play, paper, sister, ducky.</p>

<p>Flash forward several months later:
Mom gently leans in towards Sophia, looks her in the eyes with a patient grin beaming, and mouths “Mama”, trying to get her daughter to repeat.
Then Dad enters, feeling competitive and wanting to have a say on the baby’s first word, says “Dada.”
Mom and Dad repeat consecutively, “Mama” “Dada” “Mama” “Dada” “Mama” “Dada”, until the baby is overwhelmed by all the attention and starts sobbing. The language fairies are also confused over what to teach first, ‘Mama’ or ‘Dada’. Broca suggests they teach the baby ‘Mama’ and is about to send that signal, when Wernicke dashes around the corner saying “Dada! Dada!”
“No! Don’t most babies say ‘Mama’ first?” Broca replies, with a hint of hesitation in his voice.
“Well, yes, but dads deserve something too. Dads take care of babies and deserve an equal voice as well.”
After consulting with the rest of the language fairy team, Broca and Wernicke decide to first teach Sophia “Dada.”</p>

<p>Language is a gift, and is one of the many presents in life. It enables us to communicate our ideas, feelings, and thoughts with one another and provides a pathway to advancing science and technology. Without language, we would each be in our own isolated world, lacking communication with others.</p>

<p>Broca’s area, located in the frontal lobe of the human brain is responsible for speech production, while Wernicke’s area is in the temporal lobe and responsible for speech comprehension. How exactly do babies acquire the complicated gift of language? Is it because of Broca’s area, Wernicke’s area, or is it due to language fairies? I guess we’ll never know for certain.</p>