Elite college still possible? And help explaining depression on the application.

ebonyphoenix · April 21, 2008, 8:00pm

Hey all! I am a community college student right now, and my circumstances might be a bit different from the typical CCer on this forum, so I’d appreciate any help/advice/insight you can give me.

I actually was quite a good high school student and attended one of the top public schools in California (La Canada). My transcript from high school consists of all A’s with some A+'s freshman and sophomore year— which is a bit reflective of the fact I was afraid of honours/AP overlord due to anxiety/depression and thus didn’t always take the most rigorous course load. However, I did have a rising trend in my GPA and number of honours— from 4.0 freshman, to 4.1 sophmore, 4.3 junior, and 4.5 senior. I took two AP’s my senior year (English and Stats) and Honours German IV. In addition, my high school SAT I scores from junior year were decent— 690 verbal/710 math/750 writing. I was a national merit commended student and recieved a Bank of America Award in the Field of English at the end of my senior year. My activites weren’t super strong, but nevertheless, admissions went well for me— I was accepted at Scripps, St. Mary’s College of Maryland ($5000/year scholarship), Agnes Scott ($15,000/year scholarship), and my top choice, University of St. Andrews in Scotland ($3,000/yr scholarship).

Between the end of my senior year and and the fall that I was to attend St. Andrews, I suffered from severe depression, which put a halt to my college plans and the decision to take a gap year. I got progressively better and went on a rampage applying to all the Ivies, UVA, William and Mary, Washington Uni in St. Louis, and Rhodes College in TN with my high school record. My acceptace to St. Andrews was deferred, so even though I applied to all these colleges, in all honesty I expected to just start at St. Andrews the following fall. While I was doing these applications, I was better, but still suffered a bit emotionally and was estranged from my parents and not living at home. My essays I am a bit ashamed of, looking back— they were very emotional and “pity me” type essays. Needless to say, I got rejected nearly everywhere and waitlisted at Washington Uni in St. Louis. I got into Rhodes with a nice scholarship, but decided I was going to attend St. Andrews.

Unfortunately, my depression relapsed and became even more severe to the point of my almost being hospitalized, and once again, I did not attend St. Andrews. I enrolled in community college, but the first sememter I only completed 7 units due to my emotional state. I did get A’s in my English and Philosophy classes, but dropped Calculus because it was too much to handle.

Right now I’m doing much better and am much more optimistic than I have been for a LONG time. I’m finishing up my first year at CC, and have 15 units this semester. I will be here another year, so I’ll have sixty units, and am planning applications as a junior transfer student. I’m fairly certain I’ll a 4.0 GPA, or very close to it.

Now that you’ve probably been bored to tears reading all this (haha) I have some specific questions. Right now I’m pretty much setting my sights for a UC, particulary Berkeley, but a part of me still wants the elite liberal arts or university feel I would have had at St. Andrews. It it still possible to hope for admission not to an Ivy (because I don’t particulary want to go to one) but to somewhere along the lines of Tufts, University of Virginia, John Hopkins, or colleges just below the Ivies? My grades are obviously good, my SAT I is fine I think (2150), and I know my recommendations and essays will be excellent. The one thing I worry about is extra-cirriculars though I do have some I’ve been very involved in (like choir) and I have had employment. The one area I feel very lacking is SAT II— my scores from the past are 590 biology (freshman year… no studying… haha), 640 Math IC, 650 literature and 670 American history (I guess okay considering I studied entirely the night before… haha). I know I could probably raise them with preparation, though would colleges look down on retaking them for transferring? I didn’t exactly take them seriously the first time around.

The other major question I have about transferring is in regards how to address my year out of school and seven unit semester with a dropped calculus class (attempted tweleve units). My depression was obviously at the root of this, but I am leary of mentioning it on the application for fear the admissions reps think I might think I am likely to have another relapse. Though know many will disagree, I almost like feel like mentioning it is a bit like presenting a sob story and making myself appear the victim. Just how much should I share regarding my depression?

Also, should I want to apply to UVA and William and Mary again, will my past rejection affect me? Will they reread the essays I wrote on the original application? Because now I am in a state of mind where I feel a bit ashamed I wrote such essays that essentially present me as a victim.

If you have read to the bottom of this, I commend you because I know it was quite long winded. Thank you! Any comments you leave will be very much appreciated!

FiREFLY9 · April 29, 2008, 8:49pm

Depression/anxiety/mood instability really, really sucks. I have to say, I do admire you. I struggled throughout high school, and didn’t achieve such fantastic grades. Somehow, I managed to get very good grades during my first semester at college and have been accepted at some very good schools so far (UVA and W&M!).

I don’t think your past rejection will negatively affect you-- it WILL show how interested you really are in those schools though! Reach for the stars! You never know what might work out :-)

positive attitude

katakashi11 · April 29, 2008, 9:19pm

ebonyphoenix,
I do not post on here often, but I can see that you are a genuine person from reading your post, and I admire, like Firefly9, how you want to do the best you can given coping from past depression.

I would suggest writing about this and making it into a cohesive essay, but more about how your past circumstances changed you as a person. The whole point of the essay is not to write some generic essay but it should reveal something about you, more importantly something that separates you from others. I believe you should touch on this in your essay but show how you turned your situation around. I would say get rid of your original essays and write new ones. You shouldn’t be writing essays lamenting what happened to you. The University wants to admit students that are interested and would contribute to the overall student body and the well being of the the community. Furthermore, If you need help with your essay don’t hesitate to pm me, I would describe myself as a fairly good writer.

Do your best to show the college that you are interested. Do not apply to many colleges but apply to the few that you are certain you want to spend your remaining undergraduate years at. I noticed you included william and mary and uva and uc berkely. Look if you want to get in, go out of your way to visit the college prior to admission. I know a lot of people who don’t do this, trust me it helps a lot. If you have a list of colleges you want to apply to, do this to narrow the list down. Also when you are there ask for the card of the director of admissions for the department you are applying to. Bug admissions office as much as possible about the status of your app, and don’t slack off just do the best you can this semester and next. I am fairly confident with your credentials you can.

Lets also be realistic, your college gpa matters more now because you are transferring as a junior. But doing well as a high school student also is a plus. Your sat IIs probably dont even matter at this point, however they are good enough for the schools you are applying to. Do not retake them. Your college gpa does a lot so as a cc student I would recommend to take 18 or even 21 credits if you can handle it. Also submit midterm reports.

My final suggestion, your next year, when you are hoping on transferring and waiting for your admissions decision or even in the process of applying to these universities. Do not lose hope or confidence. Make sure you work hard for your grades, and don’t let your current university get to you. Instead prosper at where you are at, those are the people elite colleges look for. People that can find something in nothing and make do with what they have. Thus, it will help to take some extra-curriculars.

This is cliche, but remember to live in the present, many people on this forum spend too much time thinking about what they want to do and how they want to do it, but some forget to live out their lives. Don’t let the future or the past consume you. Remember, that you yourself have the power to control whatever you want to do with your life. All you need is ambition and hard work. I dont give a **** about what other people say here, you do not need a prestigious university for that.

Best of luck, I hope you get into the colleges that you apply to.

ebonyphoenix · April 30, 2008, 10:50pm

Firefly~ Thanks so much for your words of encouragement and support— they mean a lot. Also, congratulations on your acceptances! I admire you for overcoming your own anxieties and turning around a weaker high school GPA to a fantastic college GPA and gaining admittance from such excellent schools!

katakashi~ Thanks for taking the time to write such a nice, long, detailed post; excellent advice! Thanks for your advice on the essay, and I may even PM later on for writing advice— thanks for the offer.

I think the general concensus thus far is not to retake the SAT II’s, which is perfectly fine by me. I am so over SATs and their mark as a status symbol (guess being surrounded by elitist people does that to you). Also, I am so done with paying excessive amounts of money to the collegeboard— seriously, I probably funded their staff Christmas dinner!

I know what you mean about living in the present. So many of my high school peers got sucked in the elite college admissions frenzy that they didn’t learn what truly makes them happy and what they geniunely like to do. I also am less inclined to see the logic of the elistist attitude here about needing to get into an Ivy or die trying— truly, I just want to find a place that will intellectually stimulate me and allow me to happy. I believe success has so little to do with where you go to school— it boils down far more to what you do and accomplish with your talents.

Grande_Antilles · April 30, 2008, 11:12pm

tell them that they are your prozac and your xanax so if they accept you everything will be fine. O.k bye last post
you were hospitalized? You mean psychatric :eek:? I doubt that college will like to know about that.

Grande_Antilles · April 30, 2008, 11:15pm

can you take the calculus class again? at least they will see that you did not drop because you could not do it

ebonyphoenix · May 1, 2008, 1:48am

I said almost hospitalized— there is a difference. And yes, it would have been phycatric. And I wasn’t planning on making that the keynote of my application or even giving any indication of it. Thanks for such useful advice.

I can retake the calculus class and may do so. Don’t know if it’s worth it though— I am going to be an English major. But yes, it might be worth it to show I dropped for reasons other than being math impaired.

Jahn1012 · May 1, 2008, 8:00pm

To the OP:

I’ll not go into details regarding my own life or those of friends, but know that you are not alone. You are brave to be as open as you have been here; there are clearly many fools who would denigrate your struggle for their own amusement. Recognize them as such, and ignore them.

I believe your chances for admission to universities and colleges such as UVA, W&M, UC-Berkeley, etc., are high. Your record demonstrates academic prowess and a will to survive despite–and perhaps in spite of–your many struggles. If you’re confident in who you now are and your essays reflect that sentiment, I see no reason to label you a non-viable candidate.

As for past rejections having a negative impact upon your applications, I would echo the above remarks: this shows your steadfast and undying resolve to enroll in these universities, overcoming much in the process.

I would not worry too much about standardized tests if you intend to transfer after having 60+ credits. The primary factors in your admissions at that point will be your college GPA and classes, application essays, ECs, and, to a lesser extent, HS GPA. I have myself gone through the transfer process, albeit with far lower HS grades, and while it can be stressful, I have no doubt that things will work out for the best for you.

Do not worry much about the dropped class. I had a similar situation my first semester: I withdrew from a Math class. I compensated for this by taking a Statistics class the following semester. If you’re going to be an English major, I would not worry much so long as you can fulfill basic college math course requirement(s).

Feel free to send me a PM any time. If you’re interested in the colleges to which I was accepted, I would be more than willing to help in any way I can in the way of insight, what I wrote, and so forth (you can read my first post here on CC to see where I was accepted).

I wish you all the best. Keep your head up high! :)

ebonyphoenix · May 2, 2008, 12:09am

Thanks Jahn for such warm words.

Funny you mention about compensating for your dropped class by taking Stats the next semester— that’s exactly what I did! I actually tutor intro Stats now.

Anyway, congrats on your own acceptances— Madison and UNC I believe? And good job transferring— I admire anyone who has come out on top from the process! Take that insane 5.0 2400 CCers who think community college and “lesser” colleges are a fate worse than death! haha

Aneece · May 10, 2008, 8:45pm

I wrote about my struggles with depression in all of my admissions essays, and in some I even dropped the manic depression bomb. Like you, I’m in a community college. For what it’s, here’s my results.

Rejected: University of Chicago, Cornell, Harvard

Accepted: Amherst, Columbia School of General Studies, UC Berkeley with full ride, UCD, UCSB, UCSD, UCLA with full ride.

Rejection Pending: Yale, Stanford, Brown

Good luck. It’s not an easy thing to expose yourself to stigma of mental illness.

Aneece · May 10, 2008, 9:59pm

edit <worth>… sigh.</worth>

ebonyphoenix · May 11, 2008, 11:02am

Aneece, I admire you for having the courage to write about such an emotional and painful topic. Congratulations on your acceptances! Wow! Columbia and Amherst, and Berkley and UCLA with full rides… that’s something to be truly proud of! Such amazing schools… that would be a difficult decision for me. I wish you the best of luck as you continue on with your education next year.

Aneece · May 11, 2008, 12:12pm

Thanks, especially because I keep leaving words out of my posts, like “the” before stigma, and misspelling words. I’m super smart, I swear!

It’s no easy thing to write about mental illness in an admissions essay. I’m not surprised that you felt yours drifted into victimhood. I’m usually a pretty (overly) confident writer, and rarely struggle to produce verbiage on even the lamest topics, but I was brought up short when I attempted to write about my struggles with manic depression. I went through a span of three or four months of some of the worst sustained writing I have ever produced, and I couldn’t follow one sentence with another without marinating in self pity and excuses for my weird track record. Alas, I had no choice but to write about it. My biography would have made no sense, otherwise. For a decade after high school, I worked odd jobs and periodically collected W’s at the local community college before I finally straightened myself out. What was there to say? I couldn’t come up with a convenient fiction to account for all that. The essay I eventually wrote didn’t exploit my hardships, but when I reread it it seems I wrote through clenched teeth. You can feel my reluctance and embarrassment.

I’m not sure what role the depression/manic depression thing played in my admissions decisions. I wish I could call the schools that rejected me, swear that i won’t sue, and ask if either mental illness or my old, old age factored into their decision. In particular, was I rejected by Chicago because they hate community colleges, or because they worried I was the next school shooter? And with Cornell, I wonder what else I could have done to deserve a shot. Was my resume in some way deficient, or did I frighten/repel them?

Feel free to pm me if you want a look at my essay. I’m not proud of it as an example of my finest writing, but if you could see my earlier efforts, you’d be impressed by how much less sucky it is.

Good luck, and don’t be embarrassed or feel like you need to apologize for anything. Most of my favorite authors, artists, and scientists suffered from some acute mental illness, (except for Feynman, who rules). Also, don’t feel like you have to address depression at all, if you don’t want to. It’s not like a sin of omission. It’s none of their business unless you think you can make a better case for yourself by bringing it up.

Elite college still possible? And help explaining depression on the application.

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