Hi guys. I liked both Emory and UMich in terms of their academics, but I want to know which one a student like me would be more happy in.
I never used to be as quiet as I am now. However, these last three years, I have really become much more reclusive. I would not consider myself an rude/anti-social person. In fact, people (mainly adults) say that I speak in a very well-polished manner and polite. But I only really talk when other people initiate the conversation. For this reason, I have a tough time making friends.
In which college do you think it is easier for a quiet student to make friends? Also, I do hope to break out of my shell in college, so which of the two colleges do you guys think is easier to do so?
I know that UMich is ginormous and has plenty of different types of people to make friends with. However, will a socially-passive person like me find this overwhelming?
Since they’re both competitive for admission, I think you should apply to both and then worry about this decision of they both accept you.
That said, I think Michigan will have many more opportunities for you to connect with other students. There are many more students overall, and there will be more different kinds of students, so you should be sure to find “your people” somewhere on campus. Just explore the various clubs and sports and other activities, and consider part-time jobs on and off campus – ways to see the same people repeatedly so you can slowly get to know them over time. Also, being in a top college town with many shops and restaurants to walk to can give you a sense of familiarity and comfort. Plus there is a lot of school “spirit” at Michigan because of athletics, and that can connect people as well.
Emory, by contrast, does not have much school spirit because of a lack of major spectator sports, and it has very few shops and restaurants in walking distance. Although Emory has Decatur and Atlanta just a short drive up the street with endless things to do and ways to meet people, you might find that more overwhelming than being in a college town starting out. You might not have the initiative to meet people in Atlanta, whereas in Ann Arbor that might be easier. Emory on the whole is very segmented by inherent traits in people rather than interests – e.g., Asians stick together in their groups, Blacks in their groups, LGBT in their groups, Jews in their groups, etc. If you are in one of these groups, you might find a tight-knit group to socialize with at Emory. If you are not in one of these groups, it could be more of a challenge.
This is kind of impossible to answer. It sounds like you are just quiet and not necessarily shy. It’s possible that you’ll find your niche more easily at Michigan because of the sheer number of students and activities. Or it’s possible Emory’s a better fit because a smaller pool of undergraduates fosters tight-knit connections. Maybe the large pool at Michigan makes you feel more comfortable - or maybe the smaller pool at Emory makes you feel more comfortable. Something random might happen in your first week at either school that helps you make lifelong friends.
I do have to say, though, that one surefire way of improving your ability to make friends is by speaking to people. Don’t wait for other people to initiate conversation. Practice talking to people, asking them questions, smoothly sliding yourself into conversations. Even starting out with simple nonverbal communication - smiling broadly at people, sitting near them, making it apparent you are listening - may make it easier for you to make friends. (I was the kind of freshman who always wanted to include that new quiet person who obviously wanted to talk/sit with us but was too scared to say anything, so the nonverbal does work.)
If you are determined to come out of your shell, you could probably make either work.
Like juillet says, it’s hard to generalize about these two universities; it’s really more dependent on you. My D is at Emory (she’s fine, introverted to some degree) and I grew up on campus at UMichigan as a child. Both places have their merits and issues.
juillet has terrific suggestions to try out when you’re feeling confident. Making an effort to be more outgoing in small instances can go a long way. As I told my D, no one knows the “old” you and college is a great place to test the waters for making changes. I was very shy and geeky in high school and when I started college, I decided I didn’t want to be that person anymore. You can begin with brief conversations with sales clerks, security guards, college staff, folks on the bus, and get to know your surroundings better if talking to your peers is scary at first. Everyone is essentially starting out in the same place as freshmen and it’s all new to them as well. Good luck, whatever you decide!
It’s been my experience that balkanization is much more typical at large and diverse universities. (I have never attended Emory or Michigan so can’t/won’t comment on them specifically, however.) Several studies have come to similar conclusions.
Is there a reason why you aren’t looking at LACs? They tend to be easy places for introverts to make friends since you see the same people in the dining hall, in classes, around campus, in the dorm…It means you have multiple points of contact/potential connection. They also tend to be more supportive, nurturing and less competitive because people get to know each other - sharp-elbow behavior generally violates group norms in smaller communities. The other plus is that you tend to get to know your faculty really well since the classes are generally small and there are no TAs.
Of course the downside is that you’ll probably be expected to contribute in class rather than just sit in a lecture hall taking notes. But if you actually enjoy engaging around academics, this could be a plus even for an introvert.
Fyi Emory does have a LAC, a two year college 38 miles from the main campus known as Oxford. I attended the school and found that the small, rural environment caused everyone to get to know each other.