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<p>The OP is probably talking about percentages. Obviously whites have more suicides, etc – they have the most of (almost) everything because they are the majority in this country. Percentagewise, however, a different story is told.</p>
<p>Minorities always try to excell in specific areas in order to prove themselves amoung the majority in which they live. It’s as simple as that. That said, not all members of a minority will excell in that particular area (i.e. Not all asian are nerds.)</p>
<p>My parents used to be pretty chill about my life, until the summer before senior year. My mom suddenly went crazy about college apps when school started in the fall. My only comfort is that once I mail in my UPenn app next Saturday, things will hopefully return to normal.</p>
<p>I’m Asian, and I’m very close to my mother; she’s also super lenient. I mean, I got a D once in middle school and she just told me that as long as I learn the material, letter grades don’t matter.</p>
<p>Heh, I finally realized during sophomore year how lucky I am to have such a great mother who doesn’t shove a spiked club up my … for not getting straight As and not being a president of 20 clubs. I was a slacker back then, but I pulled myself back up in appreciation and to show that parents don’t have to be jerks for their kids to be academically successful.</p>
<p>This stereotype fits for some white families too(anyone care to comment here). Of course it is only a stereotype. But I feel my parents fall into it too. I will say however, that their intentions are good, but sometimes they irk me a bit(but hey, what parents don’t?)</p>
<p>While I do have something in me that does want to succeed in school and do well, it sure doesn’t help if the folks are hovering around. Actually, I find this attention a bit discouraging, as if they couldn’t trust me to do it myself. My sister seemed to cooperate more or less and graduated a saludictorian and went on to CAL. I guess I am the brat of the family and it has been a bit of a tug a war ever since elementary school. I wish they HAD pushed me a bit more in regards to athletics(no, a bit of T-ball pre-K does not count) but truth to be told they didn’t know enough about sports to do it. I just discovered through a friend how much I like football. I guess you could say Americanized parents are more willing to encourage stuff other than academics.</p>
<p>My parent-relationship is that way. I’m a white chick from an upper middle-class, smalltown home (the story of EVERY PERSON on this forum). So what? Being Asian doesn’t give you emotional disorders; existence gives you emotional disorders.</p>
<p>Well, existence IS an emotional disorder!</p>
<p>HAH! Who’s the hipster now, Wolfbane2?!</p>
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<p>I’m a latino male from a lower class, big city ghetto.</p>
<p>Exact opposite :P</p>
<p>I’m Asian. I don’t confide everything to my parents mostly because they’re old fashioned and those types of asians won’t respond with much emotion. they don’t understand. it’s a conflict between asian and american cultures.</p>
<p>A lot of Asian parents are neurotic because academic competition in developed Asian countries is neurotic. For example, China. When my mother was a student there, almost all students took college examinations, which tested everything they’d ever learned from middle school on, and only 4% made it to any college. It’s much better now, but that’s how immigrant parents grew up. </p>
<p>I thought my mom was bad, but she’s really let up lately. She doesn’t think what college I go to is extremely important, but she’s saving for my education before her retirement. She was one of those rare people who were extremely intelligent, tested into one of the top three colleges in China, very organized and disciplined, and randomly decided to become an English teacher. Looking back, that was a pretty lucky decision. </p>
<p>I think her main issue with me is that I don’t seem to try hard compared to her standards. In middle school I took all the hardest classes and graduated with a 3.9 UW GPA, and she was like “I’d prefer it if you had all B’s but tried harder.” 1) That just kills centuries of Chinese values and 2) that’s just like my dad (my parents are divorced). He’s smarter than her, about one tenth as organized, and dropped of high school for a year because it bored him. Then he only tested into a mediocre college, majoring in Physics. Then he got bored, switched careers to Psychology, and got a Ph.D. He’s…random like that, and I’m more like him than my mom…</p>
<p>Lol Teaspoon, same here. Drilled in at elementary school and then she let up later on saying she didn’t care as much, knowing FULL WELL that my values base has already been shaped. </p>
<p>I don’t know about the language thing. Usually my friends in that situation had immigrant parents but were born in America. My mother and I immigrated when I was 3-4, so while I speak conversational Chinese, it’s rather like the Chinese of a kid 5 years my junior. We communicate using Chinese except for all difficult words which we say in English. But I don’t know if other people can do this, because my mom was a college English instructor in China… and she got into Fudan as an English major.</p>
<p>huh?</p>
<p>I know a few asian kids who are just spineless and do whatever the 'rents say…
Those kids get/will get messed up beyond belief.</p>
<p>on the other hand, I don’t think that it’s fair to say it as a blanket statement. I never really bought into the “ah! hafta get into harvard” business and although I had a bit of a rocky transition between middle and high school, that had nothing to do with my parents or my ethnicity. </p>
<p>for those who do get sucked in, it is a matter of culture. Asian parents tend to be overbearing and “care too much.” That just leads the kids to not develop their own personalities–and that is IMO what keeps everyone sane.</p>
<p>Culture-clash plays a huge role in all of this. Not to mention the generation gap. </p>
<p>I can’t talk to my mother at all, and I used to have a really good relationship with my dad. These days I find it impossible to talk to either one of them. Some Asian parents simply don’t…understand. The entire situation is irritating and extremely overwhelming. Pretty much everything the OP generalized is true for me.</p>
<p>Problems between old and new generation asians:</p>
<p>1) Old believes in old culture while new is more cosmopolitan
2) Old believes that children should excel at grades to get into great universities. True for gaokao (高考) in China, but not true in western countries
3) Old believes personality doesn’t really matter, only grades. Children who believe that will only become middle managers being subordinated by others
4) Old believes universities is the only thing in life. ~_~</p>
<p>Alors, j’ai fini mon pr</p>
<p>Emotional disorders come from a bad family environment, not from being Asian. The stereotype is so tiring. While I agree that it may be true for some Asians, it’s hardly the majority. But you know what? Emotional disorders, crazy parents, and low self esteem can come up just as often in white, black, Hispanic, Middle Eastern, etc. families. </p>
<p>I am Chinese, and I have a really close relationship with my parents and my extended family. I pursue excellence at school and in extracurricular activities not because of my parents pushing me to, but because I am motivated and driven. My parents recognize that, and there have been many times when they even tried to get me to slow down. They want me to do well, but they value my happiness and health so so much more.</p>
<p>I’m asian and my parents just want me to be successful. They’ve given up on trying to make me become a doctor or engineer. I’m working towards being a corporate lawyer on my own volition, not because of pressure from my parents, and because I find the law a fascinatingly interesting subject.</p>
<p>My dad, he wants me to “give back” to humanity when I grow up or something like that…or change the world. Me, I just want to make biglaw partner and be a venture capital lawyer. We obviously have differences of opinion here. Of course, I could say that by advising a startup company that comes up with the next non-petroleum based energy source or something like that I’ve “changed” the world, but whatever. I’m really not interested in changing the world. I’m just interested in getting rich and being happy with my career.</p>
<p>My dad’s the coolest dad ever. He seriously wants me to be just happy with my career and be able to someday “give back to humanity” (I’m not quite interested in the latter now) and is willing and ready to support me in whatever I do, and he means it. My mom, on the other hand, tried to push me around for a little bit, but then she now just wants me to be successful since it didn’t really go her way…it didn’t go her way at all. According to her, I should have majored bio or something, gone to med school, and become a doctor. No way, I’m majoring econ, working on wall street for a little, going to a top10 law school, and then becoming a corporate lawyer. Primarily because I hate science, and I have no interest in becoming a doctor. Just wait till the law school tuition bill comes in the mail from Harvard Law (at least that’s where I’m aiming…again, on my own volition, because I find the law fascinatingly interesting, not because of “parental pressure”)…owie.</p>
<p>Thing about me is, I don’t give in to parental, peer or any kind of external pressure.</p>
<p>I do not know if this is true but I have read that there has been a sharp increase in the last 10 years or so of Asian American students in colleges having emotional disorders leading to violence and suicide. Whether that is because of an increase of this particular ethnic group, or if the numbers are out of line for college students in general, I don’t know. </p>
<p>We cannot lump Asians into a single group. There are stereotypes that exist for Asian families who came here to the US and work at menial jobs after being well educated in their home country. Those families tend to really push the academics on their children. But once we start getting into the next generation, it does not hold as true. Also Asian is very generic. Hmong/Korean/ Chinese/Japanese/Thai/ Turkish/Russian all Asian, very different.</p>
<p>This is a very old thread. Please do not generalize characteristics based on race. I’m Asian, and I love my parents, we never fight, and they support me to do whatever I want. They trust me to follow the right choices, and I respect them for their confidence. I have pretty good self esteem about myself and my ethnicity. </p>
<p>But in another sense, I know what you are talking about, so I won’t be too harsh. Some Asian students I have never heard talk in class except to answer/ask a question and their parents pick them up for after school tutoring and other BS. Meanwhile, I get warnings and detentions for talking, screwing up too much in class. (especially math) Sorta shows a gap huh? I think it’s more of a cultural difference rather than any “Asian” characteristic. Hopefully this will die out in one or two generations with American acculturation.</p>
<p>My parents never pushed anything on me…I just gravitate more towards the intellectual stuff, particularly because I suck at sports and frankly, I’m lazy.</p>
<p>Heck, the reason my parents took me here is to get out of those crazy korean parents in Seoul. They saved my a-s-s from having to live completely, I emphasize, completely lifelessly.</p>