<p>I’m having a harder time thinking of my s. leaving for the next step after college. At least during college, he would come home during breaks. He didn’t come home over the summers due to internships, but the college breaks were still a minimum of 1 week, and up to a month between semesters. His jobs in CS will most likely take him to one of the coasts, so I know once he graduates this year, and starts working, we’ll be lucky to see him for any extended periods. Most companies only give several weeks vacation to start, and from my own experience, and my hopes for him, I hope he’ll use some of that vacation time to travel. </p>
<p>At least the coasts are fun places to visit! </p>
<p>This just hit me as I am waiting for him to come visit over his last “Spring Break”.</p>
<p>My son is also a senior, planning to go on for a PhD. I know (because I married my husband when he was in the middle of earning his PhD) that graduate students rarely go to visit their families during university breaks or summers because that is precious time for research, without the distraction of classes or TA responsibilities. </p>
<p>Right now, my son is visiting a graduate school about 400 miles from home. He will be visiting three others in the next month (two of them during his Spring Break, so we won’t be seeing much of him then) – all of which are even farther away. Two are on the opposite coast.</p>
<p>He attended college only an hour from home. Although he always lived either on-campus or off-campus in the college community and although he spent one of his summers there, he never seemed very far away, and we would see him several times a semester – even if it was only because he needed to come home to go to the dentist. That is about to change. Drastically.</p>
<p>Just to validate your feelings about the next step: </p>
<p>“A friend whose children are just a little older than my own told me once that parents fool themselves, pulling away from the quad with an empty SUV and tears in their eyes, that sending a child to college constitutes the great separation. The real breach, she said, came after the car, full once more, left the quad with a mortarboard and a diploma tossed in the back seat.”</p>
<p>I hear ya. I’m losing both of mine at once - my daughter to her first year at college and my son to his first year at grad/law school. Like yours, our son was rarely home the last two years so this was a rare moment in time where we had the opportunity to get to know him as a young adult. It’s amazing how much they grow in four years. Ironically, we are hoping our daughter choses the school closest to home, one state over. I’ve always been a big proponent of going as far as you want to or need to for college but now understand that staying close to home has it’s advantages.</p>
<p>Last August, right after S1 had graduated from college and right before S2 was about to leave for freshman year in college, we spent waaaaaaay too much on a family vacation. Well worth it (well, if we ever pay it off!), since I have no idea when – if ever – the four of us will be able to do something similar.</p>
<p>Consider getting a videocam for your PC and Skype program (is it?) that allows you to talk to him via Internet and see him too? My cousin works in Chicago and my Uncle in the middle east. They talk to each other every day via this program.</p>
<p>Very Happy – We’re going to move to a ‘retirement’ spot sometime in the next few years, keeping in mind that we may only live there while our only daughter is making her way through college and during those random, wandering years between college and settling down. She may change colleges, she may change jobs two or three times, choose to live abroad for a while…who knows. We’ll settle temporarily (we figure 8-12 yrs) someplace pleasant. Then when she settles, we’ll move closer. Not her backyard, mind, but within an hour or so’s driving. I only hope she doesn’t choose anyplace too, too cold!</p>
<p>Our S1 is a jr. so we have one more year to go until graduation. He is instate but rarely comes home. He has a busy schedule between classes,work and a time intensive EC at his sch. so we have gotten used to not seeing him. (BTW, he’s not coming home for Spring Break either…took a trip with a group of friends)</p>
<p>I guess it’s good preparation because when he graduates next year, he will be commisioned into the military. We have no idea where he will be or for how long. There will be times when we won’t be able to get in touch with him at all. There won’t be any holidays at home or long weekend visits. It is a dangerous committment but what he has always wanted to do. I understand your feelings of loss. My fears for loss are so great.</p>
<p>There are CS opportunities almost everywhere. It’s true that there are more tech companies located on the west coast and NE but really there are opportunities everywhere. A lot of the opportunities are with companies that you might not think of as CS companies sich as financial, federal and state governments, large coporations, etc. It’ll really depend on what your S wants to do and where he wants to live.</p>
<p>We will work hard for eight more years until D2 has graduated from college. Then hopefully be able to retire and try to live as close to both DDs as possible. They tell us they love their home and want to come right back here but we know careers and relationships can change those plans. It’s all about our kids with us. I really want to help them with their own children. Will never forget how hard it was to balance career and babies . . .</p>