<p>oib 1- I celebrate your courage and share your tears. At D1’s honor celebration parents got a chance to speak about their students. This is a task best left to her father, I finally was forced to say the words out loud that were in my heart. Their school mascot is a Thunderbird, behind the podium was an amazing hand made quilt of an Alaskan Native stylized thunderbird. D1 is a petite, politically active young woman, her passion was debate,history,economics she has a social conscious and an envionmental awareness. I was fianlly able to tell her to go…go D, on the wings on the thunderbird-go, change the world she is desperate to change, see the world she is passionate for-- but take with you, the voices of her mentors, her physics teacher, her history teacher and her english teacher—take with her the the endless surprise and courage of seeing what is around the next corner from her loving father, take with her the spirit of her sister who loves her so,take the new love of her BF (then and now), be honest with your spirit, touch your earth. We will sit back and bask in the breeze of your new found wings. I am proud.</p>
<p>We begin the journey with D2, she’ll be a senior. D2 is quiet, expects a little mind reading, engaging slowly in the college process. She’s as frightened as we are. Another musician-flute and piccole-fill the air.She’s a physics geek and takes everything literally. She will take the rejections personally. I am not looking forward to the process.But the “journey” is for her Dad and me too. I am feeling pretty lost. I have not done a good job and taking care of me. My life for the last 15 years has been as A&S’s Mom. I have forgotten who that person is. Somewhere between Girl Scouts and piano recitals, symphony concerts and forensics, I lost me. My husband keeps wanting to know- what do I want to do after D2 leaves for college. I have no idea. I want to celebrate, I don’t want to grieve, but I don’t know how. I promised a good friend that when our last kids graduated and were safely on their way to colleges somewhere…we would meet on a rock in Sedona…to just heal the cut cord and find a refreshed spirit.Until that time, I’ll hand on tight and enjoy the ride.</p>
<p>Here is Fred’s take on “empty nest” :)</p>
<p><a href=“http://images.ucomics.com/comics/tmfba/2005/tmfba050712.gif[/url]”>http://images.ucomics.com/comics/tmfba/2005/tmfba050712.gif</a></p>
![http://images.ucomics.com/comics/tmfba/2005/tmfba050712.gif[/url]](http://images.ucomics.com/comics/tmfba/2005/tmfba050712.gif%5B/url%5D){kind=link}
<p>My older daughter, who’s been home the past year after graduating college last spring, is heading to grad school. And my son is headed to college in the fall. So after having both kids home for the first time since my older one went off to college in 2000, we will be fully empty-nested. I already have the sense that I’m struggling…the only saving grace is that my daughter, this time, will be close by (in NYC-we’re about an hour away). Remembering the funk I as in when she first left 5 years ago, I know I’m in for a tough time when they’re both gone. The only thing I keep reminding myself is that these feelings did lessen with time, and if they’re happy, it makes it a lot easier!</p>
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This is how it is with us. So I am actually looking with hope toward the move to college. Knowing that parents and kids IM each other from school-to-home, I mentioned to S a couple months ago that I need to learn how. Instead of the usual gruff-ery and dismissal, I got an “I’ll load it on your computer for you.” So, I’m hoping for a return to more communicative days - the ones we had up through early middle school. He SO needs the separation right now; refusing to communicate seems to be part of how he assures himself that he doesn’t need us one whit. When he’s truly out there on his own, I’m hopeful that this need will ease off.</p>
<p>Not a typically sentimental type, myself, I do find that I have installed his hs mortarboard and his two honors cords from graduation on my dresser. No idea when I’ll retire them. I somehow need to keep seeing them there. And H, who would usually register his annoyance at the cords, which hang over the drawer pulls and are in the way, hasn’t said a peep.</p>
<p>I missed this thread the first time around as I was out of town at DD’s wedding; it seems especially poignant to have one married and one about to go to college. My stepson will be here one more year, then off to college he goes, too.</p>
<p>The GOOD news is that DH, whom I married 2 1/2 years ago, and I, will finally be able to have a honeymoon. Yea!</p>
<p>Last night, my S and I were talking and we were having such a great time together. I stopped and said, " I really hope you will call me alot next year. I’m going to miss you so much." He replied, “Mom, don’t worry. You are number 3 on my speed dial, I’ll call you a bunch.” I asked who number 1 and 2 were. Number 1 is his messages and 2 is his girlfriend. I better get used to where I rank now (which I am happy with). But, I get mushy thinking about the days when I would have been number 1. It is almost physically painful for me to look up at my bulletin board at work and see those pictures of him at 7, 12, 13th birthday… I know they say that our job is to raise them to be independent adults and leave the nest, but it doesn’t make it easy.</p>
<p>Thankfully, I am one of the mid-fifty year olds with little arms still wrapped around my legs but already I am missing him just thinking that he’ll be heading odd to college in eight years following his other siblings. And like your husband, Susantm, my husband can’t wait for this as he is very much looking to have me all to himself (but…it’s just not the same.)</p>
<p>My way of coping with my only D leaving for college was to visit her alot the first semester.</p>
<p>My way of coping when my youngest leaves is to either go volunteer at the hospital and hold AIDS babies or become Big Grandma to needy kids. I’m also working on my husband to become a foster parent to a 7 or eight year old…</p>