My two adult daughters live far away, but rarely does a day go by without me being called on to perform parental duties. This week has included being asked to get proof-of-immunization forms signed for D2, who needs it for a graduate school class she’s taking in the evening; and receiving many emails from D1, who’s applying for jobs in a new city and is feeling unsure of herself. What are some of your “You’re a parent until the day you die” situations? And by the way, I love to be acknowledged and needed, so even if I complain occasionally, I don’t really mean it.
We have 2 20 somethings back home during transitions. Expect several more months of both being here. Don’t mind really since we now have built in house sitters for our travel. But they really don’t need parenting as such. Modtly it invloves cars. S3 had to have some consultation with car issues he was having., DD had to have some help with getting new tires on our car when we were out of the country and she had it cross country on a trip. That was fun.
D1 is 25. She calls me almost every day when walking home from work (~1,000 miles away). 
Both sons are pretty self-sufficient, but I loved it when S2 and his GF were buying a house and S2 called me to ask, “So how does it work with a 30-year mortgage? We’re not going to live in this house for 30 years!” It was a lot of fun being asked to provide my adult expertise.
I loved being asked for help, or one of them needs something. I remember feeling so overwhelmed with everyone’s needs and wants I couldn’t wait for the day the were independent. Now look at me.
Me! What don’t I end up being asked to help with? Tuesday, it was new tires for his brother’s car. Yesterday morning, it was his insurance. Last night, it was his Halloween costume. Today, ds1, who is studying abroad, FB msg’d be about a refund on his account and what I need to do once it clears. He’s in a Third World country so he gets some slack.
As I posted yesterday, I am amazed how much parenting I still do. Admittedly, part of me likes it. ;
You CAN call many of these things parenting…or, you can just call them questions/help you would ask of a good friend or someone you trust. Which is a great thing to be.
My son is not on CC so I serve the purpose of the “Say it here and get it off your chest” thread for him. I mostly let him vent and sometimes offer sympathy and occasionally offer suggestions on how to deal with something if I think that he won’t think of the solution himself. But mostly I just listen (or read because it is mostly texts). This week was really hard because he was sick and I couldn’t do anything for him.
Last week I took care of getting S renters insurance. Yesterday I paid the bill. It’s pretty inexpensive and I could have told him he can pay it, he can easily afford it, but i chose not to,
He just texted me to ask what our monthly electricity bill averages to compare it to his.
He calls/texts me more then he ever did in college and usually not to ask me to do anything for him, just to say hi and chat a bit.
I think that once they become grown ups, they don’t have to prove to themselves that they really are grown ups.
The last few days…d dressed up for a Halloween party and couldn’t get the face paint off, so she called me. She’s been sick so she called to complain about not feeling well. While at the med clinic they decide to increase some meds she takes and we discussed that. That was just two days.
My son is a senior in college, and I feel like it’s the first time he’s really been willing to open up to me since early high school. He still looks to me to make dr and dentist appointments, airline reservations, hair cut appointments (so he will have gone from August until day before thanksgiving without a haircut). My other son, who lives closer, has taken to bringing home his laundry, which I do most of. I don’t really mind. I’m happy to be able to do some things for them.
D, 31, is returning for 6 months to do work in her specialty for medical school. She is easy, a foodie (so I make bigger dinners), and is finally neat with her stuff. I do not like her dog who will be with her–yet I am this animals’ ALPHA–and so it goes.
I will be honest and say that at this age I wish she could live two miles from us and come for dinner!
This appears to be our main “service” to our son now. No news usually means good news. (However, he will occasionally share some extremely good news with us. But generally speaking, when we receive calls too frequently, the odds is that he is not doing too good.)
I guess we are more “empty nest” than OP. Hmm…quite some time ago, DS had a “bad” news to share and we let him vent on us. Then, I vent it here on CC (because I was stressed out.) I think some CCers thought at that time we were too nosy into our S’s life. There have been relatively few bad news since then. So we have received fewer of such calls since that crisis was over.
Does your loved one share his/her good news with you more frequently than the bad news?
I actually miss the times either s would call to discuss a problem or an issue of some kind. Older s was more inclined to do so than younger s (younger s keeps that stuff to himself) but they both call, either to chat or to share good news. Miss being with them, but love the calls/texts/emails and will take all I can get.
My d calls with all the adult-type questions that most kids don’t learn how to handle until they’re out of school. What insurance do I need? Can you read my lease to make sure there’s nothing I shouldn’t sign? What do I do with 401K? Do I need an IRA? Who do I call for . . .
And of course, to vent. It’s hard for a lot of them since they no longer have a built-in social crowd.
My S1 is 1200 miles away and is doing great with his career. We got phone calls from him for questions such as 401K, car maintenance and car buying, etc. Other than that I rarely hear from him. He does not answer phone when I call and ignores my texts and email the majority of time. It really hurts and makes me wonder if I have done something wrong to lose that bond. He communicates with S2 (who is away for college) often so I do get to know something about S1 when S2 calls and shares.
My son is in grad school where he just finished filming his thesis film. Although they still have all of the postproduction, I think the worst is over. He sent me a text today that he finally was able to take time to go to the gym to work out. He discovered that he has lost 25 lbs. since June when the stress period started. I, on the other hand, have gained 6 lbs. in the last month when the chaos crescendoed. I expect that I will not hear from him quite as frequently but when I do get a text I won’t have to eat a fattening treat to recover. He sure doesn’t call/text me to solve his problems since I know very little of his profession but I can still help to calm him down or give emotional support when he is over stressed.