<p>In 9 short days we will head out for the 330-mile drive from home to college…DS is very excited; I’m excited for him and for me…</p>
<p>But in the last couple of days “stabs of melancholy” strike at the oddest moments…Sunday I awakened to the thought, "this is the last Sunday when I’ll wake up with my son as a full-time resident (we’ll be out of town this coming weekend). This morning, as I shoveled out the detritus from a houseful of teenagers last night, I got hit with how empty it will look around here when his “trappings” are cleaned up (which, given my energy level for house cleaning, might take til he graduates from college–grin)–</p>
<p>It’s time for S to spread his wings and fly; I’m not worried about our newly-emerging adult-to-adult parent-child relationship. I “get” the separation issues he & I are both feeling and will continue to confront. But oh my I’m going to miss him so…</p>
<p>And as much as I’ll miss him, I’m going to miss all the wonderful hubbub that goes with him…our house is “HQ” for dozens of his friends; I’ll miss those wonderful kids even more, in a way, than I’ll miss DS…I know when he’s coming home; I don’t know when I’ll see them again (altho I do feel certain I will see them).</p>
<p>Anyway, I know many of us here on CC are looking at either empty nest or great big “holes” in our family fabrics when our DS’s and DD’s embark on their shiny new adventures…just thought some posting might make us all remember our pride and our joy and the exciting new opportunities awaiting those of us who remain behind as well as the ones our kids will explore…</p>
<p>Maybe it’ll give us all some “defense” against those melancholy moments that will strike w/increasing frequency over the next 2-3-4 weeks…?</p>
<p>overanxious mother, I am experiencing the same thing, vacillating between great excitement and melancholy. </p>
<p>My nest won’t be empty (2 more) but I am also sad on the little brothers’ behalf as they are very close to their sister. </p>
<p>My husband can’t even talk about it. He’s devestated but he doesn’t want to ‘bring her down.’ One night a few months ago talking about her leaving, the two of us just sobbed!!</p>
<p>Sybbie directed me to a thread from last year on drop off… Very cathartic…</p>
I have several dozen college Ultimate Frisbee players sacked out all over my house several times a year, during tournaments. Don’t worry…that part doesn’t have to be over. And it’s still fun.</p>
<p>I think of an empty paddock, rather than an empty nest. Our daughter was like a racehorse tied up in the back yard, and letting her loose into her new environment was so exhilarating (after all…that had been the goal all these years, right?) that I didn’t get depressed until October or so. And it was less about missing her, than about missing my own deeply-ingrained identity as “Mom.” Hands-on mom, that is. It was time for her to go, and the little person I missed was already long gone. I kept thinking, who is this woman living in my house?</p>
<p>This part of our lives is ending (SB, you’re lucky to have so many more years…I have only two years left.) It’s a little disorienting to change identities after 20 some years. But there are fun aspects, and new horizons, as well. And honestly, every morning when I wake up, and every night before I go to bed, I think pleasant thoughts of how she’s in her element now.</p>
<p>Do all of your kids really seem totally grown up and ready to go? My daughter who is about to go off to college is very self motivated and disciplined in many ways, compared to her friends, but some things she says or does make me realize that she will need to become a lot more independent and less dependent on me for many things she takes for granted. I am not really worried, because I look upon this as part of the learning process she will go through at college, but I would not say that she has outgrown living at home with us at this point.</p>
<p>Overanxious (and driver, too): you have the best solution right at hand. All through HS our house was base camp for S1 and friends, and it still is. Every Christmas break we have a huge dinner/party with all reuniting, and sometimes the friends’ parents come too. Ditto in summer.</p>
<p>The first year they were all freshmen, three of the group that were closest of five arrived at our house during “fall break.” They just stopped in to chat for a few hours before heading off to the movies–nevermind that S1 was 3000 miles away!</p>
<p>It makes a huge difference. They sometimes use me as a “trial balloon Mom” and sometimes I allay my worst fears by checking on S through emailing friends (“Everything ok? Haven’t heard from S1, what’s up?” “It’s ok, he’s fine”).</p>
<p>Make it clear to your DS’s friends that they are always welcome, they will be missed also, you expect to see them regularly. They and you will feel better for it.</p>
<p>When I tease my DH, and tell him in four short years, our Ds will be out, and that one is going in 2 years, and the dogs, who are getting older, well, will be like 17, and I will probably be in menopause, he just wants to cry. I can’t imagine why…</p>
<p>I know it will be tough, its tough when they are away for a few weeks at camps. During those times, bake cookies, pet a puppy, and shop for yourself…I can’t shop for myself anymore, whenever I start it ends up I find stuff for Ds…so think about that, it might help a wee bit…</p>
<p>Congrats to all the proud parents with kids goingoff to college in one piece. In this day and age, that is a thing to really be proud of.</p>
<p>I can’t wait for S to leave and neither can he. Since he got his ED acceptance last December, he has been chomping at the bit to start college life. He’s my baby and I’ll miss him, but I’m really looking forward to an empty house. H and I are taking a cruise in September and we don’t need Grandma and Grandpa to stay in the house with kids; we’ve invited them on the cruise with us!</p>
<p>S wasn’t planning on working this summer-- the first summer he had no reading to do for the coming year —he was going to sleep late, go to the gym, and kick back. But a job fell into his lap and the summer’s gone by quickly because he’s been working. I’m willing to bet he has the most unusual job of anyone on CC: he’s a server at a local nudist resort. Yes, he wears clothes, but 95% of the customers don’t.</p>
<p>Yes, it’s too bad he didn’t have this job while he was still in high school.
What a great essay topic, but not if you’re applying to Wheaton or Bob Jones. Well, if you were applying to those schools, you wouldn’t have taken the job. His friends were so jealous when they heard where he was working. Our biggest question was: where do nudists carry their money?</p>
And honestly, every morning when I wake up, and every night before I go to bed, I think pleasant thoughts of how she’s in her element now.</p>