<p>As the only daughter of a single father, I worry about how my dad will deal with my absence after I leave. I would be so grateful if some of the parents on the board would share their thoughts about what I might do to make the situation easier for my dad.</p>
<p>Do you have a cell phone with unlimited nights and weekends or the same service as your dad? If so, call frequently at first, then you can probably call less often when he gets adjusted to your absence. Also, email or IM if that’s possible. And write an old fashioned letter once in a while, maybe including something from the student newspaper that you’re interested in. </p>
<p>The point is to let him know how you’re doing and what you’re doing. It helps to see the occasional photo of my son’s friends or activities. Just do what you can to help him feel connected to you. It will get easier for him as he adjusts to life without you at home, and if he knows you’re happy it will be even easier.</p>
<p>Keep in touch with him as often as you can. Try not to complain about little things at college. You sound like a great kid. No wonder he’ll miss you!</p>
<p>Sign him up for a dating service!</p>
<p>Leave this message board open on a computer he uses…</p>
<p>As others have said, call frequently, IM, email, etc. It won’t be so hard if he still feels involved in your life. (I hope my son does all those things!)</p>
<p>Oh, yeah, and be sure to get him a couple t shirts and such from the college, and a car sticker, so he can show off his pride in his daughter.</p>
<p>Get a stack of envelopes addressed and stamped and keep them handy. A note, a copy of something from the college newspaper…a picture…anything to remind him that you still consider him a part of your life. Cell phones and internet are great, but a hand written note is worth its weight in kleenex.</p>
<p>Make sure he’s not just moping around the house missing you. Make sure he’s getting out and about to make the transition smoother. And I think the little things really make a difference. Usually I totally advocate the internet/cellphone/e-mail, but they are so inpersonal. It means so much more to take the time to do something. It shows to him you haven’t just forgotten about him and only have time for an occaisonal phone call. I think with calling you should have schedule a certain amount of time on a certain day, time, whatever where he can have your full undivided attention.</p>
<p>Call regularly and tell him all about your life, especially when in a good mood. I always enjoyed hearing from my daughter . This way you avoid the ’ everytime I hear from my child they need money’ syndrome.</p>
<p>I was an only child in a very closely knit family; I was probably the center of my parents’ world. When I left for college (many decades ago…but times haven’t changed that much), my dad especially was crushed. My mom told me that he went out back behind the garage and cried (and he was not a very demonstrative man). To ease their pain and my own, I wrote them many times a week, even if it was a very brief note. Back then, when long distance charges were so much more expensive, I’d always call once a week on Sunday late afternoon for an hour (a tradition I carried out for decades). For a time, my dad would write me brief journal-like letters. I kept every one. I agree that while phone calls and emails are great, there is something very special about a handwritten note. My letters really chronicled my growth as a student and as a person, and the advice I received back from my parents was like my own “Dear Abby” volume that I could flip through whenever I felt confused, or sad, or lonely, and just wanted to feel them close at hand. My dad’s been gone nearly 14 years now, but I still read those letters and feel so very close to him and so grateful that he wrote to me. I can hear his quirky ways and laughter in each line, and I can feel his unconditional love. It’s really something.</p>
<p>To stay close, write from the heart…and ask for advice or his opinion…make him feel that as you redefine your relationship with him, he can redefine his relationship with you…and that you will never drift apart.</p>
<p>You sound like a very dear daughter to care so much about your dad. Bless you.</p>
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<p>That’s precisely the thing I am most concerned about. I guess I just don’t want him to resent me for enjoying myself, while he is at home alone with three cats. Getting him out of the house is difficult, considering that, for ages, his life has pretty much revolved around me and work. I was thinking of asking some of my family here (like my mom and grandmother) to try and keep in touch with him while I’m gone. I don’t want to step over any boundaries here, </p>
<p>It seems I just need to maintain contact and be positive. I certainly don’t want our conversations to be dominated by the “my bed is so uncomfortable, roomie is so annoying, professors are so unfair…” type of complaining that I am prone to.</p>
<p>Thank you all for your advice. It’s so easy to focus on the transition that I’ll have to make, but I don’t want to forget that this affects the other people in my life.</p>