<p>I’m feeling deserted and all alone and am seriously trying to refrain from texting my son whom I dropped off to college last week. I know I mustn’t, and I won’t. I also know I’m lucky: I’ve had two texts and 1/2 a phone call since Friday.</p>
<p>How are you all doing? Have you heard from your children? </p>
<p>Share, please!</p>
<p>My son is texting me regularly asking where stuff is since I helped him set up his room, in a rather hurry so he doesn’t know where I put everything. But, by the questions he’s asking I know what he’s doing and can tell from his texts that he’s happy. That makes me feel good.</p>
<p>Also asked me an opinion on what to wear at some point which he would never have done at home.</p>
<p>We move our youngest to college on Monday - our oldest goes back the following Monday. I have such mixed feelings. I’m so happy for my younger son and he’s going exactly where he’d hoped and he’s thrilled about it. He’s such a fun kid to be around so I’ll miss him a ton. Just a few more days with him home.</p>
<p>Just dropped my son off at preorientation program a little while ago. Move in day is next Monday. We’ll go back for that. I already miss him. He is our youngest and his two older siblings are out of college and out of the nest. I can’t believe that phase of our life is over. It was a great run.</p>
<p>I’m not a parent but a student who moved out very early to attend my local CC because I wanted a genuine college experience. Don’t worry, I’m transferring this fall to Berkeley haha. Honestly, your son is probably a little bit nervous right now but he’s having a blast. He’s going to go through an transition period where he’s going to need to figure things out, with less and less parental involvement going forward. Just know that he’s going to be fine and that if there are bumps in the road, they happen to every college student. Just give him a call every now and then to check in.</p>
<p>This is our second year of having an empty nest. Its still hard to say goodbye at the end of the summer. My daughter still calls nearly every day. My son, not so much. but he does text now and then and skypes us at least once a week. </p>
<p>I hate seeing how sad my dogs are…they miss the kids as much as I do. They keep wandering into their rooms looking for someone to play with. It makes me sad. But I am happy for them and am trying to focus on things I want to do with my free time.</p>
<p>That Gerson article in the Washington Post made me cry… it actually made D2 cry as well. Haven’t cried in front of her, though. Dropoff is a little over a week away for us. We are trying to make every day count – eating special foods, doing stuff in town that we really like to do this week, having some of her friends over for cards and a bonfire. Today she tried to make me promise not to be sad after she leaves (single parent here), but I couldn’t promise. But I feel really great about her college choice, and I know it is what she needs now. I just keep reminding myself of that…</p>
<p>Dropped my DD off on Sunday. She has texted every day and called once. I am having a very hard time. She is my youngest and we were/are very close. Her classes start tomorrow and I’m sure I’ll hear much less from her then.</p>
<p>In my head I KNOW she’s where she needs to be and that this is a good thing. In my heart, I miss her like crazy!</p>
<p>I hear you, azcatz. This guy is my youngest and we are very close. I miss him more than words can say. The sad part is that he doesn’t seem very happy yet. He started a preorientation program yesterday and as of last night he had not connected with anyone. I’m hoping today’s a better day for him. The dog and I are moping around this morning. I just can’t believe this phase of my life is over. He’s truly been the best kid to be with.</p>
<p>I’m not sure yet. Ds2 left last week for pre-orientation, but ds1 and I are flying up tomorrow for the official move-in Satuday. Then ds1 has a few more weeks at home before he has to report, so my nest won’t really be empty for a bit. I predict that I’ll be really sad.</p>
<p>Thanks, All,</p>
<p>It helps to know that I’m not alone. </p>
<p>I had a phone call last night, so I feel a bit comforted. DS doesn’t sound thrilled so far, so I reminded him that adjustment really takes 6 full weeks. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.</p>
<p>Missing the child is a special kind of loss that doesn’t fit other standard categories. It’s part grief, part letting go, part adjusting to being a ‘part time’ parent-on call, actually, and part needing to move on and focus on the self or selves.</p>
<p>Where is this thread now, anyway? I don’t know why it was moved from the Parent page-this seems very much a parent issue at this time of year to me.</p>
<p>Please keep posting!</p>
<p>It is in the Parent Cafe now.</p>
<p>DH & I seem to be fine. Everyone keeps asking us & seems to be disappointed that we’re taking it in stride. We’ve really only had Sunday “alone.” We didn’t get home from work till almost 8 tonight, and I had dinner with friends last night and elderly parent duty Monday night. D2 called DH on Monday and called me yesterday. I texted her earlier tonight & got a detailed reply, but I’m trying to give her some space. </p>
<p>I am really tired though. I think my body is trying to make up for 21 years of lost sleep :)</p>
<p>NPRM mom, you are so not alone.</p>
<p>Our oldest left in 2010, our youngest leaves in 4 weeks. I feel like up to this point society has scripted my life. Be born, do the school thing, do the career thing…have a family…raise kids and then…well…and then what. While DH keeps telling me what a wonderful opportunity lies ahead, I just keep feeling lost and lonely.</p>
<p>Both older D and soon to be launched S have spent a wonderful summer here…at their home base. It’s weird…I do not miss making daily lunches, the tyranny of the daily dinner (bit of a healthy eating fiend so no fast food here), the exhaustion of the day to day family logistics, the homework battles, the HS drama etc…I do miss the sense of purpose. </p>
<p>DH and I have been run our own business from the home for the past 10+ years. It is taking less and less of our time…so the good thing…we have all the free time we could want…that bad news…we don’t have jobs to distract us.</p>
<p>I’m spending more hours at the local animal shelter…it feels comforting to hug something warm and needy.</p>
<p>I really feel that loss of purpose. My d’s life was marching band and I became very involved. It’s tough to not only lose her but the social aspects of that involvement. I DON’T miss the politics and backstabbing but I do miss MOST of the other parents and the kids.</p>
<p>Yesterday was a hard day. Today is her first day of classes so I know I’ll probably start hearing less and less. I guess I should be grateful that my job starts back next week, but…</p>
<p>azcatz, I feel the same way. My son was very involved with track. We traveled everywhere for track meets. I enjoyed the other parents and kids (yes, most of them). Now when I drive through town and see all the kids out practicing I feel sad. </p>
<p>I think both my son and I are doing a little better today. He’s still feeling very out of his comfort zone, but I keep telling myself that’s what college is all about. The dining hall is not open this week so they have to fend for themselves for meals and that’s hard for him. Last night he had an ice cream cone for dinner. ugh</p>
<p>And, deitz, I miss the sense of purpose so much. I don’t work outside of the home because I’ve had cancer for seven years. This has been my favorite career.</p>
<p>Hang in there!</p>
<p>Hugs to all of you! This has been my favorite career too!</p>
<p>I had a good phone call last night and got lots of information. But, that, in itself, is almost cause for concern. DS in never that chatty with me and this makes me worry. However, he sounded positive and happy. So I am somewhat relieved. I have to keep reminding myself that leaving home for an extended period, and living with TWO other roommates, is a huge adjustment for him and that he is processing all of this new stuff, too.</p>
<p>A friend posted the Washington Post article for us on FB so I thought I would I would post it here for those of you who didn’t see it. I cried, of course. But I cry daily. I’m learning that it’s okay for us to be grieving about the chapter of our lives that is closing. A new chapter is opening, and it’s going to be great. But it’s okay for us to miss the one that’s over.</p>
<p>[Michael</a> Gerson: Saying goodbye to my child, the youngster - The Washington Post](<a href=“http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/michael-gerson-saying-goodbye-to-my-child-the-youngster/2013/08/19/6337802e-08dd-11e3-8974-f97ab3b3c677_story.html]Michael”>http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/michael-gerson-saying-goodbye-to-my-child-the-youngster/2013/08/19/6337802e-08dd-11e3-8974-f97ab3b3c677_story.html)</p>
<p>We dropped freshman D off last Tuesday. S is going to England so isn’t leaving for a couple weeks. I’ve only had a couple of texts from her. I find myself getting jealous when my sister-in-laws or my niece say they’ve had extended texting with her. I try to tell myself it’s just because she needs to get used to operating on her own, but part of me still worries that she’s just glad to get away from me.</p>
<p>I don’t think I felt this way when S first left 2 years ago, because we have a different kind of closeness. One that I feel more secure about.</p>