I applied for and was accepted to a study abroad scholarship for a year in Germany as a high school student. Long story short, I had a really negative experience that caused me to struggle a lot mentally, and did not feel really supported by my organization as I expressed my concerns.
During this time, I learned a lot about myself, my values, and how I interact with others. My lifestyle and the way I functioned changed completely as I was forced to navigate a variety of things that were very new to me. I was essentially couch surfing at friend’s houses, not really knowing where I was going to sleep for longer than a week, due to issues with my host family. This situation, paired with a lot of other factors, took a major toll on my mental health due to the general uncertainty of not actually having a physical place to feel grounded to (by this point I had been abroad for upwards of 2 months, and the feeling of not being “settled” was starting to take a toll on my mental health).
I really do feel like as a person I have changed drastically, but I truly do not want to continue my year abroad. I am already in the process of changing host families with my organization, but I truly do not want to continue any more even if I have a new start.
My parents are fully supportive of either decision, and I was even able to potentially find an offer in a research lab if I were to come back. I would also be able to maybe take online classes, study for SATs, and possibly get a job. I would be missing practically the entire spring semester, but I honestly don’t really care about school since I will have to make up this year anyway.
My only fear is how this will look on my resume and to colleges. While I am quitting, I do feel like I’ve already learned a lot and began applying it to my work ethic. After all, the fact I ever worried about something as small as a test grade when I practically had to support myself alone in a foreign country at 17 seems very minor in this context. Do you think it honestly will matter to finish out this program? Or is a plan of coming home and making my best effort to do something productive enough?