<p>I’m a homeschooled high school junior, and my homeschool honor society recently hosted an informal get-together for the homeschooling community to discuss college prep from a homeschool perspective. Most of the people there were simply interested in learning more about the whole process (questions like “What is AP?” and “What are good ways to learn about scholarships?”), but there was one woman there who seemed intent upon getting her kids into Stanford and/or other comparable schools (her kids are 11 and 6, I believe – they have plenty of time!). I’m actually doing a research internship at Stanford this summer, but it’s because it’s in an area of biology that I love that I’m doing it – most certainly NOT because I’m desperate to go to that school (though it is my first choice). This woman, however, was practically the desperate one. She wanted to know the name of the program, just how to get in, names of other prestigious internships/programs – and she never once mentioned what areas her children are interested in. I almost felt guilty telling her about my program, since she seems like one who would force her kids to do something just so they can achieve highly. I found myself repeating to her, “Just have fun – you and your children have plenty of time ahead, and the journey should be enjoyable.”</p>
<p>Don’t get me wrong – parents should indeed encourage their children to do well – it’s amazing what kids can achieve with a little encouragement, and having fun is not mutually exclusive from achieving highly. It just concerns me when I see parents living vicariously through their children’s lives and seemingly depriving their kids of a true identity. I, for one, currently want to become a doctor, and I doubt that that career choice would have come about had my parents consciously tried to steer me in any one direction. I also tend to wonder about such families: What happens if the child doesn’t get into HYPS? Face it: college admissions is no easy game, and, to a certain extent, it is a matter of chance. Would the parents be equally proud of their children if they attended a so-called “low-rate” college? My parents: yes, as long as I was doing my best; this woman and her husband: I want to say no, unfortunately, because Good Ol’ State U is not “the best.”</p>
<p>I love giving college-prep advice to homeschooling families, and I admit that I probably seemed similarly “desperate” a few years ago, so this woman’s near-aggressive eagerness should not come as a complete shock to me, but I pity her children. If my observation is correct, I doubt her children will have much permission to explore a variety of disciplines (“No you can’t learn to paint – you’re going to go to Berkeley and be an engineer!”). And while I don’t like to question the relative intelligence of people I haven’t met, what if her kids simply don’t stand up to the competition? They’ll only regret their high school years. The destination (a good college) is important, but the journey should be enjoyable. These are, after all, the final four years of childhood, and one can never be young again.</p>
<p>I realize this post was all over the place, but now I see why it’s important to have fun – not “slack-off” fun, necessarily, but the kind of fun that isn’t inhibited by a parent’s plans for your future.</p>
<p>Your thoughts, anyone?</p>