<p>Okay…so I am feeling guilty and in tears this morning. Just got off the IM with DS. His away message currently reads: “If Family is golden right now I’m some kind of pauper.”</p>
<p>I know that this too shall pass. I think he just caught me on a bad day and I caught him on a bad day. A friend had her family at the dorm last night and he was missing his family 3K miles away. Probably also because he has a bit of a cold. </p>
<p>He also told me that plans for a foursome to try for a suite next year have been crushed. School sent his current roomie and the kid he was going to room with next year letters telling them that there lottery numbers were so high that they will be randomly placed and not with each other.<br>
My DS and his potential roommate had higher numbers and will be able to choose together in a week or so. Probably will get a lousy dorm but at least they will be together. Original plan was for the four of them to share a suite. </p>
<p>I’m feeling really awful for his current roommate. Nice kid whose parents have been great to my son. They had no idea this would happen when they decided to be a foursome and go for the joint suite. </p>
<p>End of freshman year, end of winter in the NE is tough all the way around. Being a sophomore sucks when you have been at the top of the freshmen housing totem pole. </p>
<p>Yeah, I know he’ll survive and will be fine. Just feeling blah and bad for him and roomie even more than him. Sending a package off today with a starbucks card and a couple of bills taped to the box. That should help at least one of us… </p>
<p>Pity parties are OK, as long as they are short-lived. Maybe you can bake some chocolate chip cookies (and it’s OK to buy the pre-made dough) and send MOST of them along with the starbucks card. I assume I don’t have to tell you what to do with the left-over cookies. Good luck. :)</p>
<p>I couldn’t resist clicking on a thread about “Mom guilt.” I’ll give you the advice I wouldn’t take myself (I’d be guilty and in tears, too). He’s having a bad time and taking it out on you (the message). You feel awful for him and his roommates, because of course we all want life to go smoothly for our beloved children. It is said that adversity builds character, but I never seem to want adversity for my kids. Good for you for sending the package. There’s nothing else you can do, and I’m sure it wll lift his spirits.</p>
<p>Thanks all. I was hoping I wouldn’t get blasted by anyone. So far so good…holding breath. Pity parties are always short lived in my house… no time for anything long.<br>
Beruah…where’s my cyber hug?</p>
<p>Awwwwwwwwww, ebeeee, I’m <em>really</em> sorry that you’re feeling this way right now. {{{{{{{gentle hugs}}}}}}} to you. </p>
<p>I hope your son is feeling better soon. My son tends to be a bit grouchy and a little off his game when he has a cold too, so I’m sure that’s a huge part of his mood. It’s hard to be away from those whom love you dearly and take care of you when you’re sick.</p>
<p>I can see why the housing lottery bummed you both out. I wish it had worked out better for your son and his roomie. I’m EXTREMELY attached to my son’s roomie (they were both just here for spring break), so I do know how you feel. I hope it all works out fine for him for next year. I’m sure it will…and for your son too.</p>
<p>What a sweet and beautiful gesture to send your son the little gift. I’m sure that it will help BOTH of you…you for having done what you CAN do from so far away, and him with the reminder of that which he already knows: That you love him soooooooooooo much and are always thinking about him! :)</p>
<p>Hang in there, sweetie. You’ll both feel better soon!</p>
<p>Hugs all around. One of my D’s is aware that I occasionally peruse her away message, and she knows just how to zap me sometimes Now that he was zapping you mind you. But I know exactly about the mom guilt, and the away messages that go straight through the heart.</p>
<p>awwww, ebeeee, sorry you’re feeling down. Sorry your DS is feeling down. Maybe the stress of this oh-so-crucial first college year is taking its toll. On all of us. I caught my D at a bad time earlier this week: she was tired and dispirited after a tough biology exam. It’s hitting her just how hard a pre-med track will be & no amount of “it’ll-be-OK-no-matter-what-you-decide” talk from mom helped. But just think: NEU gets out in about a month. DS will be basking in the warmth of SoCal sun very, very soon. And he’ll happily let you indulge him & spoil him & maybe even hug him!</p>
<p>Gosh, what a mean lottery system. In ours everyone got a number - if you chose to room together your number became the average. If there were no suites of four left over it would have been up to you to figure out how to split up. It seemed to work out.</p>
<p>ebeee, everything will be o.k. - it will all work out. Is there any potential avenue of appeal re the foursome? Does anyone in the group have some connection they can access? It does seem a shame to split the four of them up. If the relationships are strong and they all get along this well, is off-campus housing a consideration, if all four families can get together on it?</p>
<p>LTS…no connections, no appeals. I just talked to current roomie’s mom. The kids are just going to wait and see what happens. I did suggest that for all we are paying for the dorms the following year we ought to take a look at off campus. And, in the end, it will be ok. Just feeling bad, particularly for the current roomie who has to take his chances in the random placement.</p>
<p>Well, ebeeee, if the kids can consider it and evaluate the options, as a parent, I was rather closed-minded when it was first pitched to me, but, after looking at the numbers, and especially issues like peace and quiet, quality of food, space, the emerging needs that juniors and seniors have, etc., I have to say it’s been well worth it, even given the tight rental market here…</p>
<p>I am sorry you’re feeling bad and know it will all be o.k…</p>
<p>The room system sounds really mean! Beyond breaking the group up (I think they have group numbers and individual numbers at S’s school) it seems unduly harsh to tell the two with the high numbers they can’t room together.</p>
<p>Much sympathy to you, ebeee, and to ebeeeson.</p>
<p>My son’s senior yearbook will have baby pictures of all the seniors with little captions that the family sends in - and I sent mine in too late to be included!!! </p>
<p>weenie: glad I’m not alone in it…we used to have a joke in my family that the doormat should either say “this too shall pass” or “abandon hope all ye who enter here.”<br>
Take the above posters advice, BUY some cookie dough, make cookies, give some to son, eat the rest yourself.</p>
<p>weenie, don’t fret, you’re just giving son #2 ammunition to use at all future family gatherings, etc. My boys would be forever grateful if I forgot something like that.</p>
<p>That housing thing does stink, ebeeee. I’m so sorry that it worked out that way.</p>
<p>^ He actually looked a little sad about it when I told him this afternoon (the yearbook adviser had returned my late entry in the mail). I seriously think there is something wrong with my memory. I feel really bad!</p>
OMG, weenie…did you leave your life for a moment and slip into mine??? OH BOY, can I relate!!! :eek: I have more stories like that than you can imagine, and yes, I carry the pang of guilt from each one (which, BTW, increases geometrically until bursts, rains a good dose of guilt all around, and soaks ya through and through! ). (All of this is, BTW, the reason I could never qualify for Alpha Mom! )</p>
<p>This morning, I had to cough up $35.00 for the missing school pictures (that I hadn’t planned to buy the whole package of <em>lol</em>) for my D3 'cause she was living under great duress from her teacher as we were the very <em>LAST</em> to surrender either the pics, which got lost in our “spring break cleaning” or the money, which I did not WANT to surrender! <em>blah</em> :o</p>
<p>At any rate, you have my utmost sympathy and these {{{{{humongo hugs}}}}}. I guess I’d better go and see if I can still get my youngest S his elementary school yearbook…I misplaced that form a LOOOONG time ago and the deadline has now passed. Hopefully, they’ve ordered a few extras! :eek:</p>
<p>I’m sure your son will get over it…mine have gotten used to it, I guess. My guilt might take a bit longer…<em>sigh</em></p>
<p>ebeeeee, if misery loves company, my daughter’s fortunes in the housing lottery are looking rather dismal right now. Nothing left for her group at the suite-picking last week, so now they will have a new lottery number assigned and have an opportunity to choose among the leftovers on Friday.</p>
<p>My d. would rather live off campus, but unfortunately her school’s financial aid policy will not subsidize off campus living – she either lives on-campus or has $10K docked from her financial aid.</p>
My boys would be forever grateful if I forgot something like that.</p>
). (All of this is, BTW, the reason I could never qualify for Alpha Mom! 
)</p>