<p>My son called last night very upset with an incident that had occurred in his school library. He had gone to library to study for a test and found it very crowded, so went to a section/room that he had not used before. Shortly 3 fraternity guys came in, glared at him and made comments about it being “their” area (not an area that could be reserved). Son just ignored them and continued with his work.</p>
<p>A little later a gangly, kinda nerdy boy came in, sat down and started studying. The three frat guys kept talking among themselves. The newcomer gave several looks with no results so politely asked them to not talk as it was bothering him.</p>
<p>One frat boy approached the student, pointed to himself and his 2 friends, then held up 3 fingers. He then pointed to the student and held up 1 (signifying 3 vs 1). The student packed up and left.</p>
<p>My son was so angry. He felt guilty about not intervening on other kid’s behalf, but said that he was so angry he was afraid if he got into a verbal altercation, he wouldn’t be able to keep it from getting physical. Son stayed for a while just to prove that he couldn’t be run off, then tried to find other kid elsewhere in library, but couldn’t find him.</p>
<p>The more he sees, the more he finds that people are not nice. I feel that he has become much more jaded about the human race since entering school. Maybe that normal?</p>
<p>…and your son is the one that feels angry and guilty because he felt he didn’t do enough. Go figure. College is just another place to learn and to continue developing your character. For him passive resistance was not enough. I wonder what he will do next time? </p>
<p>You should be proud of him for his anger response and knowing his limits</p>
<p>And for the three guys…classic jerks…nothing more</p>
<p>I am proud of him for restraining himself as he has been known not to at times ;). Were certainly typical bullies as they “picked” on the one they perceived as “weaker”. Son didn’t give in to their comments about him being in their “area”, but he is 6’3", 200lbs and works out alot–guess they didn’t want to push their odds with him.</p>
<p>There are good and bad frat brothers . Jerks come in all shapes, sizes and kinds. Life is not fair and sometimes down right dangerous. In my son’s dorm they have a study room on each floor with desks and no disturbances. I’m sorry your son had to deal with such morons.</p>
<p>I sent mini a PM and told him I was hesitant to post school as I hoped it was not representative of student body. However, mini made some good points on why these experiences should be shared. </p>
<p>I always think you should post the name of the school, and the experience. The plural of anecdote is not evidence of course, but if Wake’s fraternity culture has been a turnoff, that is something other parents deserve to know, and then evaluate for themselves going in.</p>
<p>I know this sounds terrible to say but try not to dwell on it too much. Thank Goodness nothing happened. There are so many times I have gotten my gander up and kids say to me to butt out it’as their life. But there are times you simply worry as a parent because there is so much violence and meaness in the world. But there are good people too, people of great charity and inspiration.</p>
<p>rude crude and unattractive…and it is OK to wonder about the culture of crassness at any of our colleges…Wake has some great teachers and some great kids. Our favorite local boy there was not asked into the frat of his choice and since then joined the Bike Club and had a pretty great life without their frat world.</p>
<p>I absolutely believe most people are good people…it’s just that the jerks stand out so darn much. mkm…I hope this is what your son will learn as he continues on and will not become “jaded.”</p>
<p>Since your S had a test pending, getting involved would waste a lot of mental cycles, even if he could take them on – he did the right thing, IMO.</p>
<p>Perhaps the jerks need the honor code tattoed on their big behinds:</p>
<p>“Wake Forest fosters compassion and caring for others. Its collective strength and character are derived from the values and distinctive experiences of each individual; therefore, the richness of human intellect and culture is affirmed and its contribution to knowledge, faith, reason, and dialogue. Furthermore, Wake Forest strives toward a society in which good will, respect, and equality prevail.”</p>
<p>I would probably have chosen the same route as your son, but after reading the post by Bluebayou, I think I would print out the honor code statement on some paper, “tent” them, return to the library, and place them on each table in the room.</p>
<p>If I was to do anything different than he did I might have just pushed the chair back next to me and motioned for the fellow to sit down. But then again, I wasn’t there.</p>
<p>Infuriating. Don’t those guys have a whole frat house to hang out in and talk? </p>
<p>I kind of hope your son will go back another time to that room of the library, maybe with a friend or two, and keep going back. Not to start, or finish anything, but to make the point that no one has the right to cordon off an area for their own private use when other students also need the space. </p>
<p>OR if this incident continues to rankle him, I suggest that your son put something in writing — describe what happened and his anger about it — and submit it as a guest column to the school newspaper. Either anonymously or not. Even if he doesn’t want his name used, it’s a valid story and a staff writer or columnist could go to town with it. And he should name the specific fraternity if he knows it. If nothing else, writing it all out will make him feel better.</p>
<p>I had a similar experience at our public library!</p>
<p>I was sitting at a table reading a magazine when 2 people joined me at the table and proceeded to have some kind of a sales meeting. From what I could gather they had agreed to meet at the library to discuss business. (There are no private rooms) I asked them in my most annoyed tone if they were going to sit there and talk, and they replied, yes they were. I pretty much turned purple and twitchy and got up and left (stopping briefly at the librarian’s desk to complain, who told me there was nothing that she could do). </p>
<p>So that’s what I did. I got up and left. There are rude people everywhere. They may be harder to find at some places than others… but they are out there!</p>
<p>Yes, I considered joining in their conversation and commenting on everything they said which might have been effective in chasing them away from MY table, but that really wasn’t what I felt like doing. I wanted to quietly read.</p>
<p>NJres sometimes it would be fun engage in actions just to irritate these kinds of people–but one has to be in the right mood and have the time–but I do like the way your mind works :).</p>
You must be very, very proud of him :)</p>