Essay #2 - Please Score!

<p>Assignment: Should people take more responsibility for solving problems that affect their communities or the nation in general? </p>

<p>*"Throughout history, the dawn of humanity’s existence, humans and their artificially generated society has grown and unified into a ever-tighter knot, growing stronger as the generations roll by. The fact is this: Human society grows because they are unified and, without this unification, would wither away and crumble. Justified by Orson Scott Card’s Ender’s Game, historical leaders such as Theodore Roosevelt and Genghis Khan, and the creation of a frozen, cubed domain in Antarctica for scientific purposes, people should, without a doubt, take more actions and responsibility to assist their communities, nations, and humanity, in general, to advance the human race as a whole. </p>

<p>Why was a 6 year old child brought into a space Academy known as the Battle School to receive combat training? In Card’s Ender’s Game, this very ridiculous idea occurs with dozens and dozens of children. These children have sacrificed their precious childhoods, their family connections, and everything they’ve ever known, voluntarily. Voluntarily because they understand they serve a greater cause to humanity to, ultimately, become a force to stop an impending doom known as the Buggers. In general Graff’s words, “I will sacrifice everything I have and be completely fine with it because I will know I played the role humanity had assigned me.” </p>

<p>Historical leaders such as Roosevelt and Genghis Khan, 2 very different individuals, show that because they had a greater responsibility to their people, they would work tremendously to elevate their people’s status or to, at least, benefit them. To these men, they became the people and the people became them. Their lives were dedicated to the unification and improvement of their allies. Roosevelt showed his responsibility through battle and knew of the “honor through blood, sweat, and tears in the arena, a place where the quiet and timid would never know the delicious taste of victory and devastating taste of failure” all in the name for his country. Khan unified his people and infamously became the “Moving Country”, since his people were nomads. Together, he elevated the status of the Mongols throughout and Europe and Asia because he understood the importance of not just solving, but conquering, his people’s problems. </p>

<p>Deep in the freezing depths of the Antarctic ice, a research facility had recently been built in the name of science to conduct research on the movement and behavior of subatomic particles. It is commonly known that Antarctica is declared a neutral region."*</p>

<p>So I guess I had a little too much to say in this one… Didn’t finish a paragraph and no conclusion :confused: Strange, in my previous essay, I filled up the whole 2 pages and had 350 words. But this one, I only hit 1 1/2 page with 400 words. Meh, it’s good practice anyway, though I noticed while writing, it didn’t seem like I had that much time… Anyway, please score and offer critique, please!</p>

<p>What kinda conclusion is that?</p>

<p>I already said that I didn’t have time to write a conclusion.</p>

<p>Bump. </p>

<p>I know that there is no conclusion, but I’m curious how bad could it be if I ran out of time on the actual SAT. Thanks for any replies!</p>

<p>Bump10char.</p>

<p>Bump10char.</p>

<p>zero. terrible.</p>

<p>… Bump10char. Score and why please.</p>