Essay about math for MIT, Duke, UM Please comment

One of the most challenging academic experiences I’ve had was when I attended the Young Scholars Program at FSU last summer. At the program, I took a course in math analysis - a study of theoretical mathematics. I’ve always been able to grasp onto concepts relatively quickly in school, but analysis was new ground for me. For the first time, hours of studying proved to be futile in my complete understanding of the material. The main reason for my difficulty in the course was my limited mathematical background compared to others in the class. While the majority of my classmates had already taken Calculus BC or beyond, I had only recently completed a Calculus AB course, which is mostly quantitative and application-based with little theory. I would sit in my dorm room every night for hours on end, scrutinizing my analysis text and notes, writing and rewriting proofs till they possessed as much detail as my knowledge of the field could possibly allow. Unfortunately, the level of mathematical sophistication in my proofs did not warrant any grade above the average mark. For the first time in my life, I had genuinely tried to the best of my ability and still could not succeed. I felt frustrated, for others around me seemed to be successful with their proofs but I was still stumped on how to explain in words, what so naturally came to me in numerical form. In the end, I was able to pull up my grade after we did an easier unit on series convergence. More importantly though, I realized that despite my average performance in the class, I had taken away with me, an experience that few high-schoolers get to partake in. I had spent six weeks with thirty-nine of the most talented and inspiring people I’ve ever met, performed significant research in the particle accelerating laboratory at FSU, pursued advanced coursework in my areas of interest, and taken away with me, the cherished memories of an unforgettable summer. But it is analysis that has opened my mind the most - to a new way of thinking about mathematics. My main concern with math used to be on obtaining the right answer, with little attention to the intricacies and reasoning behind its mechanics. Now as I take Calculus BC and Statistics, I look not merely for the computational answer, but also for trends and the reasoning behind why things work. Because of my time at the Young Scholars Program, I have grown accustomed to questioning that which is merely stated and not explained or proved. Only in hindsight, can I say how truly grateful I am for the opportunity to participate in a program that has not only expanded my vision in mathematics, but also in life.

<p>Haha, that sounds like me in AP physics, except the only thing I've learned there is that I DO NOT want to be an engineer.</p>

<p>"I had taken away with me, an experience" (should be no comma there).. There are also quite a few other places where you have extra commas (like in the last sentence). I recommend breaking the essay into paragraphs.</p>

<p>The essay overall is well written though =D</p>

<p>I like it. I don't know if it was transferring it onto the website, but you definitely need to break it into paragraphs. Also, do a little more "showing instead of telling", however vague that advice is. And last little picky thing: I would find a different phrase for "The main reason for..."</p>

<p>It's a very good essay, it will do =)</p>

<p>Umm i think that this is a wonderful essay for applying to MIT, but it is a little boring to be quite honest. You use sophisticated language and sentence structure, and it seems as though you are either a really intellectual and headdy person or you were trying to hard. Again it is an OK essay, but it does not have anything that hooks me and interests me, but what do I know I am a high school student, not one of the people who will be selecting you for college. I hope this helps you, I was trying to be honest.</p>