essay about telling the truth? ?/12

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
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<p>Prompt:"No man is bound to be rich or great, no, nor to be wise; but every man is bound it be honest -Sir Benjamin Rudyerd</p>

<p>Assignment: Is it always best to tell the truth?
Essay:
Throughout history man has always thought it necessary to deceit on what is reality. But history has proven time and time again that the truth is always best. Many think it necessary to deceive, but doing so only leads to an exacerbated situation and temporary satisfaction.</p>

<pre><code> For instance, in Jon Krakauer’s ubiquitous novel Into The Wild, features a young daring, shrewd, audacious young man Chris Mccandles. Mccandles detested society and what the world has turned into, and as a result of this manifesto, shortly after Mccandles’ college graduation he took a sojourn. Mccandles thought it necessary to leave all his money, phone, and car behind in his sojourn into the wild.He seeked enlightenment of oneself and believed going into the Alaskan frontiers would appease that yearning. During this Sojourn to Alaska Mccadles thought it would be best to use the alias Alexander Supertramp. Mccandles hitchhiked all the way to Alaska using that alias everytime he meet someone who were munificent to him. But using that alias prevented Mccandles’ overly worried parents to locating their bold son. And after two years Chris has finally made it into Alaska, and lived a life of solitude, foraging and hunting game as a means for survival. As his adventure comes to a close Mccandles was suddenly stricken by poison, and was forced to be confined in the Alaskan wilderness without any means of receiving help. The poison crept into his system leading to him dying of starvation. If he had just used his given name, Chris Mccandles , instead of the egotistical alias, Alexander Supertramp, Mccandles’ parents would have been able to locate their son, which could have prevented his tragic death.

  In another situation, a documentary titled The Ground Truth features the war in Iraq in a different light. Soldiers confess of the unjust situation the military has forced upon them.In the documentary the soldiers go out of their way to enlighten people about the about the deceptiveness of the military and the truth about what their really doing in Iraq. The Ground Truth reveals the truth, the truth that the military is killing hundreds of innocent civilians in Iraq for the sole purpose of killing a few Taliban members, and this truth prevented thousands of young Americans to enter in the military because they realize that it isn't just to kill in that manner. And after the movie millions of Americans realize the truth about the war and saw the American government and military differently, causing many of them to have a hard time trusting what it said in American society.  

  The truth Mccandles and the American military hid, has lead people to discover terrible things. The lies only leads to tragedy and disunity. And one can deduce that people lie out of fear, but doing so  leads people to a place much worse then what was actually feared in the beginning. In the end telling the truth prevents situations Mccandles and soldiers in Iraq face.

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<p>i haven’t wrote an SAT essay in a while so go easy on me, and i still think 25 mins is a really short time to write an effective essay honestly…any tips?</p>

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<p>haha *** collegeboard’s sat online essay grader scored this 11-12. Can anyone that isn’t automated score this essay?</p>

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<p>I would not give this a 10. Maybe a 6-9.</p>

<p>This COULD, however, receive a ten at the VERY highest.</p>

<p>But it most likely won’t receive a ten.</p>

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<p>lots of minor grammatical/syntax errors… slightly awkward at times, i’d give it between 6-8.
btw, *written, not “wrote” {I haven’t written an SAT essay…}
good vocabulary, sometimes sounds a bit forced but mostly effective.
{:</p>

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<p>i guessing around 8-10</p>

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<p>If you want to compare, I just wrote this essay after looking at your prompt:</p>

<p>The infinitesimal white lie. That small devil of an idea that prances and dances around the minds of humans, tantalizing them. Deceit has long been a tool of manipulation and is used ubiquitously by human beings in myriad circumstances. Arguably, deception has its pros when comforting a lugubrious friend or covering up for the plan for a secret gift, but in serious matters involving the corporate world, it is much better to tell the truth rather than to conceal or mold it because of the possible severe repercussions.</p>

<pre><code>Deception has the potential to precipitate disastrous consequences in the corporate world – honesty is necessary to maintain credibility. In 2010, the divulgement of Google’s collection of personal information, which Google initially attempted to cover up, has caused worldwide alert and suspicion about Google’s practices. Earlier in 2009, Google had discovered a problem with the source code of their web services: the web services were inadvertently storing Internet users’ personal information, such as browsing histories, email messages, and passwords. Despite knowing about this severe flaw in coding, Google ignored the problem and decided to take the route of covering up the trail.
</code></pre>

<p>This temporary solution turned out to be a gargantuan mistake. The following year, details leaked about Google’s collection of personally identifiable information, and scrutinizing inspections by multitudes of nations followed. Several privacy watchdogs in European nations such as Britain, France, and Germany took action, condemning Google’s irresponsibility. Apologetic, Google tried to palliate the tensions by acting innocently in defense of the coding flaw, claiming that it was discovered recently and that Google’s servers would immediately expunge the collected data. However, it was too late – the damage was irrevocable. Because Google had not chosen to be honest and reveal its mistake, the gargantuan technology giant now faces investigations and lawsuits by multiple sources, not to mention the lost credibility and the resurfacing of malpractice suspicions.</p>

<p>Indisputably, deception in the corporate world is very different from the small white lies people make to their friends – the corporate world is a dangerous, risky place to be playing with lies. Consequently, honesty should invariably be valued and upheld by all companies, whether it be the renowned technology firm Microsoft or the small Italian restaurant down the street. Without honesty, serious repercussions result and credibility is lost. With the serious economic situation nations are stuck in today, heaven knows credibility is needed more than ever today.</p>

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<p>Hey Amigos, and KK415kk…</p>

<p>Thanks for reading my post, I’m a new member here, but i’ve been an SAT tutor for over 12 years.</p>

<p>Both of these essays have some very good things going for them.</p>

<p>Amigos: I would agree with the other post that scored you in the 8-10 range. i don’t think that you would score less than an 8, because that would mean that one of the readers thought your essay was a 3 or less. I think that 8 is a safe “bottom” for your essay.</p>

<p>The big red flags that jumped out at me while I was reading it were the various grammatical and usage errors. A few of them are OK but too many and they will ding you for it. I also think that you were trying to force in too much vocab, and that sometimes led to you having strange phrasing or grammar issues. One or two nice vocab words per paragraph is fine.</p>

<p>i would also make sure that your intro paragraph is tighter, you have an error in the way you use “deceit” and your use of “exacerbated” is a little weak and definitely seems forced. You could also pare down the plot summary details of “Into The Wild”. Just get to your point that because McCandles lied about his identity, he lead to his own demise.</p>

<p>kk415, your essay is very well-written. I would also caution you about forcing too much vocab into your essay, and all be wary of tense issues when describing events. You reference 2010, which is now, and then call it “the following year”. While it can be understood what you’re doing, don’t try and get too fancy. You also get a little redundant at times, saying “gargantuan technology giant” is overkill - not to mention that you already used gargantuan earlier in your 3rd paragraph.</p>

<p>I would also say to make sure you indicate that you think that Google was making a “white lie” or something to that effect. Why? Because you shape your intro AND conclusion around the premise of a “white lie”, but you don’t reference it in your body.</p>

<p>Even still, I think you wrote a great essay, and i wouldn’t be surprised if this was scored an 11 or 12. Certainly no one would give it less than a 10.</p>

<p>Overall, I think both of you are trying to put too many fancy words into your essays… it makes it sort of transparent to the readers, and you can back off the vocab a little bit, and make sure your thesis and support is clearer.</p>

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<p>to the OP
first sentence of first paragraph is grammatically incorrect. "For instance, in Jon Krakauer’s ubiquitous novel Into The Wild, features a young "
the word “in” shouldn’t be there.</p>