I think I have a decent app essay so far, but I have two problems …
- My essay doesn’t flow.
At time my essay is impersonal and then it becomes more personal etc. And the pacing is really messed up. I go way too fast through every point. I don’t know how to slow down though!
- I'm struggling to add my reflection to the essay.
Basically, I don't really know how to add reflection. For example, if I was overly excited would I just comment: "Looking back, I was too excited"?
Please help!
Thanks :))))
Lol I added the laughing emoji instead of the smiling one.
Impersonal essays often have a few characteristics:
- They are TOO formal
- They try to use too many big words (and as a result, conceal your natural voice).
- They are really generic
I’m not sure which of these is your problem without reading it, but those are some things to consider
As for going too fast through every point: reduce the number of points you’re trying to make. If you’re telling some kind of story, cut some less important things out. Again, it’s hard to tell you exactly what to remove without reading your essay.
Instead of “Looking back, I was too excited.”, you could say “I became so excited that it blah blah” or something like that. I don’t think that’s too much of an issue.
If you want to PM your essay, I’d be glad to read it. However, I would prefer you email it to me at scwediting at gmail.