Essay - Lungs Collapsed (Opinions, Reviews, Editing Please!)

College Essays
1

<p>Hello there,</p>

<p>For a few weeks now I have been trying to stradegize on how I would inform the AdComs of the tough circumstance I endured during Jr. Year. Both my lungs collapsed and I was in the Hospital/Bed Rest for almost a month in all. </p>

<p>I wasn’t sure on how to portray this incident. I don’t want to sound like I’m blaming my relatively lower GPA all because of this, although I truly believe a lot had to do with this incident. But I do want to add the details, about how I took the AP tests just 2 weeks after my surgery, how I missed finals week, how hard it was to keep up my stamina up every school day. </p>

<p>So I wrote an essay about this, would anybody care to read it? Non-09ers preferably. Please offer any suggestions regarding content, grammar, diction, ect. </p>

<p>Thank You!</p>

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<p>Your essay can surely make for a VERY inspirational story … just make sure that it doesn’t turn out to be a sob-story(with all due respect, no offense at all intended …) If you write well, it will surely be great … just let your emotions flow! Congrats on bein’ such a champ!!</p>

<p>PS: This is not a PM me post … just some words I felt like saying to you, I am a fellow 09er.</p>

3

<p>Thanks for the encouragement! Yes, agreed, don’t wanna make it into a sob-story.</p>

<p>Anyone else?</p>

4

<p>i’ll read/edit it, just pm me. i’m not 09.</p>