Essay of Harvard Accepted International Student(from Nepal) got full-aid at most ivys

<p>The Flag waves, duty calls…</p>

<p>On the morning of August 15, 2003, I awoke to the alarming sound of gun shots. A moment of sinister silence followed; my skin tightened, and in the dark corners of my mind I could already envision what had just taken place. With tears impairing my sight and fright impeding my thoughts, I speedily stumbled and staggered my way down the stairs, out of the house and onto the road. The scene I saw there that morning changed my life.</p>

<p>On the indifferent dirt road, in a pool of blood lay the body of my uncle, dead. Three young Maoist rebels had just taken the life of this army colonel outside his own house. Lying flat on the street, he had died in the same uniform that his father and grandfather before him had once worn for their country. Weak and still breathless, I stood there watching as the rest of the family, army-men, and pedestrians dragged his motionless corpse into the army jeep, hoping against hope that he would come back to life. The three bullets in his chest not only killed my uncle that morning, they killed the future of his children, the aspirations of his family, and his dreams of one day becoming a general like his father. The ongoing bloody rivalry between the people of Nepal and the revolutionary Maoist extremists, who have been using violence in trying to usurp democracy, had found another victim.</p>

<p>As I walk the rugged and cramped streets of Kathmandu, I often reminisce about a place far away, a place where I spent my childhood, New York City. The son of a Nepalese diplomat, I was raised in a world that seems very distant today. The wide streets of Manhattan, the extravagantly expensive Fifth Avenue shopping malls, the idyllic smells of Central Park in the winter, hotdogs in the summer, and the nonchalance of childhood; all just memories now of a life I used to know. It is different here in Kathmandu. Insurgency, poverty and political unrest are a part of everyday life.</p>

<p>Yet, in these imperfections I find inspiration. I will never forget optimism in the eyes of a crippled boy from Markhu who trekked and limped his way to school, half a mile every morning without shoes. I will never forget the sight of famished street children in my neighbourhood as they fought for scraps of food on the road. I will never forget the damp room in the cancer hospital in Chitwan, which housed the dying patients who couldn’t afford their own treatment. And I will never forget the tears shed in my own family over the death of an innocent man. Throughout my childhood I saw the beautiful side of life, then the darker side, and today I’ve ended up with far more questions than I have answers for.</p>

<p>At a time of crisis when their country needs them the most, the talented and the educated are quickly leaving Nepal with no intention of coming back. Without capable and well educated leaders, this place, already among the poorest in the world, is headed towards a great tragedy. As I gazed into the puddle of blood that humid August morning, I realized my country was also bleeding. As I leave Nepal for my education I will forever carry the horrific scars from that morning, engraved and etched in my mind. My uncle and many others like him fought for years against the Maoists on behalf of the Nepalese people; in the end they sacrificed their lives in the attempt to restore peace and prosperity. With the education and experience I receive I will also serve my dying nation, whether it’s in politics, government service or any other way. One day I will return to the same hectic Kathmandu streets, to the same dirt roads where my uncle lost his life, and I will complete the task that he and thousands like him could not.</p>

<p>thanks, this is gonna be great for my yale essay :)</p>

<p>Yeah, well that's a great essay.</p>

<p>pshhh, like theres such a thing as a fifth ave shopping mall.
lol, other than that it was a moving essay.</p>

<p>Many, particularly outside the U.S., use the word "mall" to refer to a wide, shop-lined street (a definition of mall that preceded the Americanized suburban shopping mall).</p>

<p>In any event, this essay is a reminder that there are people in the world who have more pressing things to worry about than whether they get into Harvard.</p>

<p>Not to step on his aspirations, but the Maoists are going to topple the monarchists really soon.</p>

<p>Well done. I'm speechless.</p>

<p>How much would you give this essay out of 10 for a Harvard Essay?</p>

<p>I would give it about 9 out of 10 for a Harvard essay</p>

<p>the idea is presented very well but i feel his/her emotion is overgeneralized...</p>

<p>"Yet, in these imperfections I find inspiration. I will never forget optimism in the eyes of a crippled boy from Markhu who trekked and limped his way to school, half a mile every morning without shoes. I will never forget the sight of famished street children in my neighbourhood as they fought for scraps of food on the road. "</p>

<p>Sounds like the beginning of an Obama speech.</p>

<p>I would be surprised if this person got rejected anywhere. Imagine if these scores were backed up by 2250+, a 3.8+, and ECs.... The golden applicant.</p>

<p>To be fair, this kind of essay is exactly what would affect the admission officers. It's PERFECT for that.</p>

<p>I'm not saying that it's not well written, it definitely is. I'm just saying that the subject is EXTREMELY convenient. Call me heartless or whatever, but it's true.</p>

<p>^You might as well say, "I hope war breaks out in my country." Some people are just...</p>

<p>I never indicated that. Even a single life cannot possibly be worth a stupid essay.</p>

<p>
[quote]
I would give it about 9 out of 10 for a Harvard essay

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Nope, it's a ten. Easily.</p>

<p>That's funny, Techy. Are you implying it is professionally written, intending to inspire and tug at one's emotions, giving the audience exactly what they want--yet completey full of BS? The writer is extraordinarily talented.</p>

<p>That's an excellent and compelling essay. Few have the circumstances to provide such a great topic, and even fewer have the skill to convey it so effectively.</p>

<p>I think when it comes to writing of this caliber, stylistic differences prevail not good or bad. For me some adjs/advs were pointless and detracted from the essay "indifferent dirt road," "speedily stumbled," etc.
The essay is great, and while one poster was correct in saying that it is an extremely convenient topic, that doesn't make it any less amazing or valid.
I've read so many essays lately that nothing sounds great to me anymore, but I do think that if I were less jaded I'd give it a 10 out of 10.</p>

<p>I don't know, it just seems that for a Harvard essay it is great, but not auto-admit.
In comparison to the rest of the CC's writers it is certainly a 10 out 10, but among the competitive applicants at Harvard, I'd say more like 8/9.</p>

<p>Huh.</p>

<p>I mean I agree this is a great essay, and MUCH much better than I could ever hope to write... but a 10/10 for harvard? Isn't that a bit too much?</p>

<p>I also think that the topic is "extremely convenient" though I guess that shouldn't matter.</p>

<p>Still, I find this essay is more showy of what happened to him, and doesn't really convey his feelings, his thoughts. Like the essay wasn't about getting to know him better, which is the purpose of the essay, isn't it?</p>

<p>"Like the essay wasn't about getting to know him better, which is the purpose of the essay, isn't it?"</p>

<p>The essay is to make the admissions officers want to accept you. Oftentimes, the most effective way of doing this is through getting the officer to know you. But the effectiveness of the essay, whatever its specific goal, is undeniable.</p>